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My question for this installment is \u201cAre you taking your marriage for granted?” How do you feel about that question? How much time do you give thought to your personal relationship with this person you have decided to spend your life with? Do you have this one thought in the back of your mind I have a lot on my plate right now, I\u2019ll address my feelings about my marriage someday, just not today? What if you don\u2019t get that someday? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
In the past few months, I’ve been hearing about so many unexpected deaths. That may be morbid for you to think about, but I think most of us live thinking we have all the time in the world. But what if we don\u2019t? I believe this is an area worth exploring and talking about. What if we take a look thru the lenses of if this is your last year with your husband? Let\u2019s do a deep dive and explore this idea!\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Looking at your marriage right now, would you be good with it staying exactly the same if this were your marriage\u2019s last year?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If not, why not? What are the areas of your marriage would you do differently? I think this is a great exercise for all of us. I think, for most of us, we can take our marriage\/spouse for granted. We have gotten to the place of familiar. Maybe complacent. Or, as I\u2019ve shared in many of my posts on marriage, is there a level of irritation and resentment we carry?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Get that journal out and be truthful. If this were your last year with your spouse, what would you want to be better? Communication? Quality time together? More fun, more excitement? More intimacy? A better physical relationship? How important do you think the trivial things that you dwell on like chores and who does what, would actually be? What about his bad habits that drives you crazy? Really put some thought into this. Is there some great trip you talk about you would go on someday? I believe framing our thoughts about our marriage with the questions: “What if this were our last year? What am I avoiding?” offers a sense of urgency.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m going to confess; I actually like social media. I do enjoy Facebook and Instagram both. I keep up with a lot of friends I\u2019ve met thru the years this way. Sometimes I\u2019m able to wish them a happy birthday or comment when they are celebrating an anniversary a new grandchild etc. Do you do this? I also use social media to promote my podcasts\/posts. If you follow me on social media, I you know I also use it to celebrate experiences my husband and I have together. I post pictures of us together because I never want to give the illusion that I\u2019m singe and available. And it brings me so much joy, too, when it shows up as a memory the next year and I get to relive the experience emotionally again. Are you using social media in these ways? I bring up social media because one thing I have seen is some very close friends of mine whose spouse has passed away and I see them share these beautiful memories of them and their spouse together and how much they miss their person. It breaks my heart. I can see and feel their pain. And selfishly, it\u2019s my own personal reminder to not take my own marriage for granted, because that could be me one day. It\u2019s the wake up call I think so many of us might need! Do we take our marriage for granted? Do we think we have all the time in the world and our marriage isn\u2019t a priority and it\u2019s on the back burner? You\u2019ll get to it someday\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If this coming year was all your marriage has left, what needs to happen about which you\u2019ve been procrastinating? What would you regret if you never said______ (you fill in the blank)? Really put your heart into this exercise. Are you telling him you love him? Are you showing him affection, flirting? Making your marriage special? Are you investing time attention and effort into your marriage or are you spread so thin your marriage is an afterthought? Can you see where I\u2019m going with this? Think about what you will regret if he isn\u2019t your best friend, and you squandered this time? We know there are no time guarantees. Really lean into this idea. Be honest with yourself. Are you holding some grudges? Do you need to pray about it and do some forgiveness? Ask the Lord to give you the ability to forget and let some stuff go. We only get this one physical life here on earth. Is your marriage everything it could be? What could you focus on that would improve your marriage? Is it being present and listening? Are you guilty of taking on a role like his mother instead of his best friend and lover? Literally go there, emotionally, what would you regret? Looking at your marriage from this perspective, does it give you some moments of clarity, a sense of urgency? I think this is something we can all check with ourselves on! Use this idea!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Write down everything that comes to mind. I\u2019ve shared this in so many times. Our marriage is a gift. it was God\u2019s plan and idea! Is it a gift we take for granted? We believe we have time, but you and I both know of a friend that has thought the same thing and they no longer have their partner. What is this stirring in you? If we\u2019re really honest, I believe our deepest desire is intimacy. What if you take all that you have written and put some of these ideas to work. You have so much power in your marriage. God created this union and as sinful selfish people we get caught up on being right. We harden our hearts. We punish our spouses. What if we use this idea to wake ourselves up? This again isn\u2019t about confrontation. This is about you and coming from a place of love. That is what will save and improve your marriage. It starts with love. We are tapping into the place of loving our spouse enough, with a sense of urgency, that we go first. That we look at him with fresh eyes and fresh possibilities. If this were our last year with our spouse, what do we want to experience with them? What do we appreciate about them? Do they know you admire and appreciate them for certain things? Do you tell them or show him? I believe this could be your best marriage year yet. You have to decide! The ideas and exercises are tried and true. I share different ideas with the belief something will resonate with you. This exercise is a powerful one. Use it!\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n