{"id":1129,"date":"2024-03-05T11:30:01","date_gmt":"2024-03-05T17:30:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/?p=1129"},"modified":"2024-06-19T06:07:21","modified_gmt":"2024-06-19T11:07:21","slug":"words-left-unsaid","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/2024\/03\/05\/words-left-unsaid\/","title":{"rendered":"Words Left Unsaid"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Sudden death is, by its very nature, unexpected. We all think we\u2019ll have the next moment, hour, day, month, year to express feelings and speak the love we hold for those dear to us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

January 3, 2024, ended my chance to say, to my husband, words left unsaid. I was rushing that day, in a hurry to complete an errand before a 2:00 pm Zoom meeting. When I came downstairs, Jim was in the den. We talked. Made plans for a late lunch. Said, \u201cI love you.\u201d He said, \u201cHurry there, and hurry back.\u201d As Jim continued to talk from the other room, I slipped out the back door, muttering, \u201cI\u2019ll ask him what he said when I get back.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An hour later, I found him, peaceful in death, at the top of the back stairs. I will never know his last words to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Words Better Left Unsaid<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Words are powerful. Words tear down or build up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I still remember hurtful words said to me in child- and teen-hood, words that damaged my self-esteem and self-perception. When I was still a child, I traveled to another state with my grandmother, mother, and her sisters for a family reunion. The yard around the house swarmed with people I didn\u2019t know. As my grandmother introduced me to her family, a semi-toothless woman in a drab dress stared at me and said, \u201cAin\u2019t no one been pushing you back from the table.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It took a few minutes for her comment to register, but then I realized she was criticizing my size. I was embarrassed. It felt as if every eye shifted to me. How do you respond to a comment like that? As an eleven-year-old, you don\u2019t. You disappear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As soon as possible, I went to our car and sat in the back seat with the door open. My grandmother found me. Held me close and instructed me not to pay attention to what the woman said. But the damage was done.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Several years later, a woman in our church, known for her no-filter comments, pushed the door to the ladies\u2019 room open hard just as I was about to open it from the inside. She slammed me against the wall, then looked behind the door. Instead of an apology, she said, \u201cNo wonder I couldn\u2019t open the door all the way with someone as big as you behind it!\u201d Again, my self-esteem took a major hit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some words, and thoughts, are better left unexpressed. Are you given to angry outbursts? Does criticism fall out of your mouth as easily as water from a faucet? Do you speak before considering the impact of your words on others?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Words to Say Now<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Affirmation<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of the definitions of the word \u201caffirm\u201d is to validate; to recognize, establish, or illustrate the worthiness of. We all need affirmation. Don\u2019t save affirming words for a later time. Speak affirmations now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Encouragement<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Who among us doesn\u2019t need encouragement? It doesn\u2019t take much to speak words of encouragement to those around you. Your encouraging words may be the only positive offering in someone\u2019s day, so give the gift of encouragement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Forgiveness<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

A few days before Jim\u2019s death, we had a brief conversation, but one that healed a deep wound with a thick scab. I\u2019m so thankful for those words, words that cemented love and erased hurt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Is there someone in your life you need to forgive, or to whom you need to apologize? Don\u2019t wait. Unforgiveness is like a festering sore, one that hurts you more than it hurts your offender. Let today be the day you make things right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Love<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

At some point in our marriage, Jim and I began saying, \u201cI love you\u201d every time we parted. Perhaps we instigated this habit after one of his many brushes with death. Or maybe we started saying \u201cI love you\u201d with each parting after we learned to avoid allowing anger to overshadow love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Love isn\u2019t always easy. Love requires work, perseverance, and forgiveness. Learn to say loving words now. Don\u2019t wait.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Listen<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

The antithesis of speaking is listening. Listening well is as important, if not more important, than talking. I\u2019ll never know Jim\u2019s last words to me because I was in too much of a hurry to take the time to listen. Listen first; then speak.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Slow your frantic pace long enough to be still before God and listen. Learn to recognize His voice and heed what He says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What words do you need to say today to heal wounds, affirm, encourage, bring forgiveness, enhance love, and promote forward motion?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWords kill, words give life; they\u2019re either poison or fruit\u2014you choose\u201d (Proverbs 18:21 MSG).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n
\n
\"Candy
Candy Arrington<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Candy Arrington is a writer, blogger, speaker, and freelance editor. She often writes on tough topics with a focus on moving through, and beyond, difficult life circumstances. Candy has written hundreds of articles, stories, and devotionals published by numerous outlets including: Inspiration.org, Arisedaily.com, CBN.com, Healthgrades.com, Care.com, Focus on the Family, NextAvenue.org, CountryLiving.com, <\/em>and Writer\u2019s Digest.<\/em> Candy\u2019s books include Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well <\/em>(Bold Vision Books), When Your Aging Parent Needs Care <\/em>(Harvest House), and AFTERSHOCK: Help, Hope, and Healing in the Wake of Suicide <\/em>(B&H Publishing Group).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To receive Candy\u2019s blog, Forward Motion, <\/em>via email, go to https:\/\/candyarrington.com\/blog\/<\/a> and scroll to the bottom of the page to sign up.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sudden death is, by its very nature, unexpected. We all think we\u2019ll have the next moment, hour, day, month, year to express feelings and speak the love we hold for those dear to us. January 3, 2024, ended my chance to say, to my husband, words left unsaid. I was rushing that day, in a…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":1130,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,217,6,10,15,14],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1129","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-girlfriends","category-grief","category-health-wellness","category-marriage","category-soul","category-transitions"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1129","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/17"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1129"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1129\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1133,"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1129\/revisions\/1133"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1130"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1129"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1129"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1129"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}