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What story are you living in that is holding you hostage? What lie do you keep repeating to yourself that is keeping you stuck? Are you secretly blaming your husband for your unhappiness? Right now, as I asked those questions what was in the pit of your stomach?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019ve been thinking lately about who I am hoping to reach? It\u2019s you, it\u2019s the Christian woman that is miserable inside and she can\u2019t figure out why. It\u2019s you, you have all the outside trappings of all the stuff and yet you are empty and miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I know this because I\u2019ve been exactly where you are feeling the exact same way until I figured out this one thing!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This internal secret life you are living, that you can\u2019t figure out, is exactly why I started my podcast. And, now, these posts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I believe we find ways of numbing ourselves, because we can\u2019t figure out our purpose; why we are here. We have felt this way for so long, we are dead inside. And the crazy thing is we wanted what we have now. We thought if these circumstances happen, I will be satisfied and I will be happy. And yet here you are feeling miserable and stuck. You\u2019re arguing with your spouse over the dumbest things. You keep thinking your feelings are his fault.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m going to talk about something here regarding marriage that I haven\u2019t addressed before.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Have you ever considered that we can be nicer to people we hardly care about and treat the person who is closest to us terribly? If we are honest, we are all guilty of this. I know I am! We feel this sense of entitlement and make our spouse the punching bag. I think a lot of the time we are not even aware of it. But because of proximity we can totally unload on our husband our anger and frustration\u2014and it\u2019s usually over the silliest thing. I think the real issue is we are not happy with ourselves deep inside. And to cope with that feeling we pick a fight, or we decide our spouse is the culprit and we decide to distance ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Are you struggling with the feeling you don\u2019t know your purpose? Maybe some roles you have been in have changed. Maybe you are bored with yourself. Maybe you are stuck in a place of feeling sorry for yourself. Maybe you have obligated yourself to something and you no longer want to do it anymore? This isn\u2019t unique to you! Once you admit this to yourself, you can experience an incredible breakthrough\u2014for you personally and for your marriage. Ask yourself, \u201cHave I come to a place personally that I am struggling with knowing my purpose?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now that this is on the table, if this is you, you may be asking yourself: \u201cwhat do I do about it?\u201d When I finally took a look at myself and realized I was the person that was responsible for me and stopped using my husband as the person to blame for my own unhappiness, everything began to turn around. He had become the convenient excuse! This is key to the thriving passionate marriage I know you desire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Our roles continue to change, for me, deep down, I had reached the place of \u201cwhat am I supposed to do now?\u201d You may be at the place of \u201cI know I am meant for more!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
First, as I have shared in so many of these posts, I am a Bible believing Christian. I spend time in the Bible and in prayer every day. This is where God gives me the answers. I encourage you to do the same. Now, I want you to get out your journal and write down. What is my purpose? Pray about this. Write down all the things you are good at. Things that you naturally like to do. Write down things that have brought you some of your greatest satisfaction. What can you not stop doing because it\u2019s just a part of who you are? It comes naturally, you don\u2019t have to force it. What makes you uniquely you? What do people who love you tell you you\u2019re good at.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have some friends who are so amazing when it comes to making incredible food for the person who is going through something terrible, some of my friends are good leaders, they keep ending up in leadership roles and they don\u2019t even have to try to make it happen. One of my friends has a beautiful home and loves entertaining and creates these beautiful events for her friends\u2019 celebrations. She is just good at it! Some of my friends are incredible writers and now that their kids are raised, they have become authors and have written books. Does this trigger ideas for you? Are you using your imagination? You have a deep desire in your soul; you are the only one who knows what this is. This is your purpose; that thing that is uniquely you, that may be dormant. Your spouse is an excuse. It\u2019s a story. And you\u2019ve told yourself this story for so long that you believe it! If you will see this truth, this will change your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you are miserable with you right now, you and God can figure this out. He created you; uniquely you. He knows you have more to contribute. Your husband is not the problem. It is you. If you continue to explore this, find where your gifts and talents are needed, and follow that dream\u2014this will change your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This is how my podcast came about! I was unhappy with myself. God showed me I wasn\u2019t done yet. It has not been perfect if you listen to my earliest podcasts, oh my gosh, they are pretty raw, it\u2019s been a work in progress! But for me, when I put out an episode and someone lets me know how that was just what they needed to hear, I feel I am fulfilling my purpose.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You know who has benefited the most? My husband. He is not responsible for my happiness. I am! I can freely love him and be his best friend and wife. I love being a podcaster\/blogger. It gives me incredible satisfaction. I know God isn\u2019t thru with me yet!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So how about you? What is that deep desire or dream you want to pursue? If God has put it on your heart, he will guide you through it. I am living proof. What is your purpose right now? What is God telling you to pursue and quit using your husband as your excuse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n