{"id":1227,"date":"2024-04-05T13:20:27","date_gmt":"2024-04-05T18:20:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/?p=1227"},"modified":"2024-05-04T18:55:41","modified_gmt":"2024-05-04T23:55:41","slug":"the-gift-of-laughter-in-grief","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/2024\/04\/05\/the-gift-of-laughter-in-grief\/","title":{"rendered":"The Gift of Laughter in Grief"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
If you are staid, formal, and have rigid ideas about what is acceptable behavior for the grieving, you should stop reading now, because this post is about the blessing, value, and power of humor in grief.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Since Jim\u2019s death, our family has shed tears, but we have also laughed\u2014a lot. Jim\u2019s celebration of life included humorous stories, which brought laughter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A Gathering of Friends and Family<\/h3>\n\n\n
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Several nights after Jim\u2019s death, the house teemed with friends and family. I knew someone was bringing food (thankfully a dear cousin coordinated the meals) and I encouraged those who were in the house to stay for supper. Before the meal was over, the storytelling began. One humorous anecdote rolled into the next until we were crying with laughter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Those stories, and that laughter, were good medicine for me. The shock of Jim\u2019s death was still fresh, and sleep was elusive. Having loved ones around the table, where we have hosted so many gatherings, was comforting, and the sound of the rise and fall of laughter felt right and normal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That night, I praised God for the gift of laughter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandchildren\u2019s Perspective<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Children have an open approach to life events, including death. They aren\u2019t tied to formality and say exactly what they see or perceive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When our son told his daughter he had something important to tell her, she said, \u201cPlease don\u2019t tell me someone else died!\u201d Apparently, his tone of voice or words were similar to his telling her of my aunt\u2019s death in 2022.7<\/p>\n\n\n
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Emerald decided not to see Bop in the casket, but drew pictures based on what she remembered from seeing \u201cChinkie.\u201d Just before Jim\u2019s service, Emerald told her daddy she wanted everyone to see her pictures. They were amazingly accurate!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The day before Jim\u2019s celebration of life, I took my daughter and oldest grandson to see Bop at the mortuary. I expected it to be a bittersweet time, and it was. Gibbs stood beside the casket, with a thoughtful expression on his sweet face. He touched Jim\u2019s sleeve and looked at his hands. Then he stroked Jim\u2019s face, and announced, \u201cBop\u2019s face is hard as a rock!\u201d He was correct. The soft cheek he often leaned against in the recliner didn\u2019t feel like the Bop he knew. His honesty that day lightened an otherwise intense situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The younger grandson didn\u2019t see Jim in the casket. After we filed into the pew, Griffith leaned toward me, and in his loudest stage whisper, asked, \u201cIs Bop in that box?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The perspective of children in times of grief is fresh and often humorous. Don\u2019t try to silence them. Enjoy their viewpoint, and if it makes you laugh or smile, realize comic relief is a gift.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Daily Nuggets of Humor<\/h3>\n\n\n
\nJim Arrington as a baby<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n
Cleaning out Jim\u2019s home office is one of the more challenging aspects of this season of grief. Jim saved everything from boxes to greeting cards, books to all the files from his parents\u2019 house. Going through all these items is hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One day, when grief was especially heavy, I found a treasure trove of Jim\u2019s baby pictures. The expression on his face in one of the pictures made me laugh uncontrollably. It was just the spirit-lifter I needed at that moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019ve experienced humor-for-the-day moments many times in recent weeks, and I praise God for this gift.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The Healing Power of Laughter in Grief<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
God created all emotions and I believe joy is at the top of the list.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When Jesus raised Lazarus from the grave, shortly after openly weeping with the sisters, I believe all who witnessed that event celebrated with great joy and exuberant laughter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nothing in scriptures says you can\u2019t experience more than one emotion at a time. Humor, laughter, and joy shouldn\u2019t be excluded in grief. They serve a valuable purpose, elevating spirits and reminding us of happy times we shared with our loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cA joy-filled heart is curative balm, but a broken spirit hurts all the way to the bone\u201d <\/p>(Proverbs 17:22 VOICE).<\/cite><\/blockquote><\/figure>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
Candy Arrington is a writer, blogger, speaker, and freelance editor. She often writes on tough topics with a focus on moving through, and beyond, difficult life circumstances. Candy has written hundreds of articles, stories, and devotionals published by numerous outlets including: Inspiration.org, Arisedaily.com, CBN.com, Healthgrades.com, Care.com, Focus on the Family, NextAvenue.org, CountryLiving.com, <\/em>and Writer\u2019s Digest.<\/em> Candy\u2019s books include Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well <\/em>(Bold Vision Books), When Your Aging Parent Needs Care <\/em>(Harvest House), and AFTERSHOCK: Help, Hope, and Healing in the Wake of Suicide <\/em>(B&H Publishing Group).<\/p>\n\n\n\n
![\"family](\"http:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/family-around-the-table.jpg\")
<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n![\"childs](\"http:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/IMG_3923-226x300-1.jpg\")
<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n![\"Jim](\"http:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/baby-jim.jpeg\")
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