{"id":2047,"date":"2025-06-21T17:50:07","date_gmt":"2025-06-21T22:50:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/?p=2047"},"modified":"2025-06-21T18:04:45","modified_gmt":"2025-06-21T23:04:45","slug":"be-f-a-i-r-to-your-grown-up-kids","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/2025\/06\/21\/be-f-a-i-r-to-your-grown-up-kids\/","title":{"rendered":"Be F.A.I.R. to Your Grown Up Kids"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Written by Pam’s Husband Bill Farrel<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was 4:30 in the morning and we were exhausted. Pam had been in labor for 24 hours but wasn\u2019t progressing while our firstborn\u2019s heart rate was interrupted with every contraction. The pain and intensity of labor made it impossible for either of us to admit our fear until the doctor called for an emergency caesarian section.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Terrible thoughts of what might be wrong ran laps in my mind as they prepped for the procedure. Much to my relief, my son\u2019s umbilical cord was merely bunched up next to his head which caused it be constricted. There was no major damage but he was born very blue. My first thought as a new dad was, \u201cWe just gave birth to a Smurf!\u201d During the life-giving ordeal, I felt helpless and useful at the same time. Helpless to stop my wife\u2019s painful labor yet useful in encouraging her through the process. Helpless to ease my son\u2019s predicament yet useful in holding him afterward. Little did I know this was a preview of how I would feel trying to be an adult dad to adults.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Like many of you, I had little experience to draw on. My dad lost his dad when he was 17 years old, so he had no instincts to guide him. So, I read books, and I asked other dads. They shared plenty of advice for raising young kids but said little about my role when my kids grew up. In fact, it seemed everybody was guessing. Like them, I am now trying to figure out how to be the dad I want to be with kids who are no longer kids.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have decided to be F.A.I.R. to them. It\u2019s ironic since they regularly accused me of not being fair as teenagers. It will be interesting to see how they respond as adults. F.A.I.R. stands for four approaches we can take as fathers to help our kids with their adult journey.<\/p>\n\n\n

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\"Bill<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Fill them in<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Each decade of adult living has its specific focus, but few people realize it until the decade has passed. As dad, you have been through the stage your son or daughter is currently experiencing. You can, therefore, fill them in on what to expect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n