{"id":277,"date":"2023-02-21T12:29:28","date_gmt":"2023-02-21T18:29:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/?p=277"},"modified":"2023-02-21T12:40:28","modified_gmt":"2023-02-21T18:40:28","slug":"forgiveness-equals-freedom","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/2023\/02\/21\/forgiveness-equals-freedom\/","title":{"rendered":"Forgiveness Equals Freedom"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What does growing older mean to you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My patients have heard me pose this question many times over the years in my work as a clinical psychologist. And it\u2019s a question I have often discussed with my older patients.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Regret<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

To this broad, open-ended question I have received a vast array of responses. But there is a common theme among the responses I\u2019ve heard over the years: Regret!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A common regret my older patients have shared is that they\u2019ve held onto offenses far too long. The hurts they experienced were most often inflicted by significant others, parents, grown children, and friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some of the offenses they reported experiencing were small and insignificant, such as arguments and differences of opinion. Other offenses are described as \u201clife altering.\u201d These include extra marital affairs and other disloyalties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most admitted that a lifetime is too long to hold onto these hurtful offenses. I agree.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Reflection<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

It seems the older we get, the more perspective we have about our past. We become more thoughtful about our lives, how we are spending our time, and with whom we are spending it. This reflection is usually not a problem if we are taking a positive approach toward assessing our past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thinking back over our lives is a natural part of aging. And our reflection can lead to healing in our personal relationships, making amends for our wrongs, and forgiving people who have wronged us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Resentment<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

I have provided therapy for many folks imprisoned by their resentments and their lack of forgiveness toward people who have hurt them in some way. Sadly, holding onto resentments can lead to the development of physical and mental health problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But I have also experienced the joy of working with individuals who live free from the heavy burden of hurt and offenses. And what I find amazing is the difference in people who choose to forgive those who have hurt them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Renewal<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

The mindset and physical appearance of an individual who forgives others is beautiful. These folks are much more positive in their outlook on life. They look younger and brighter than their counterparts who hold onto hurts and offenses.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Choosing forgiveness, however, is not always easy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Forgiveness is a matter of the heart\u2014not the words we say with our mouths. We can say, for example, that we forgive someone for the hurt and pain they have caused us. But our hearts may say something else. Forgiveness is not about the words that we speak\u2014forgiveness goes much deeper than that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The fact that forgiveness is a matter of the heart means that forgiveness is a process. We don\u2019t just flip a switch and watch forgiveness happen. (If only!) Forgiveness and letting go of offenses require work! I know, I know. That\u2019s not what we want to hear. But trust me when I say it\u2019s more than worth the work and time it takes to let go and forgive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s a choice we all face. We are all provided the opportunity and choice to forgive or not forgive\u2014the choice to hate or not to hate, the choice to stay angry or not to stay angry. And we all make these choices no matter what our circumstances.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The truth is, we can let go of it\u2014all of it. Even if we have carried the painful burden of unforgiveness around with us for decades, we can walk free. We can grow older without the regret of hanging onto offenses and hurts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The unnecessary luggage that is packed with unforgiveness, hurt, disappointments, anger, and resentments can be tossed off our shoulders and carried no more! Yes, that baggage we\u2019ve been hauling around for a lifetime can be permanently unloaded from us. We can be free.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But it\u2019s our choice. We must actively choose to forgive. To choose forgiveness is to choose freedom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Forgiveness equals freedom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n
\n
\"\"
Dr. Tammy Bradshaw-Scott<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Dr. Tammy is an inspirational speaker, author, and clinical psychologist. She is the creator and founder of the National Organization, Sisters Supporting Sisters. <\/em>  Dr. Tammy is also the creator, producer, and host of \u201cA New Day\u201d with Dr. Tammy\u2014a program dedicated to offering hope, resources, and insight for her viewing audiences. \u201cA New Day\u201d With Dr. Tammy airs on Smart Lifestyle Television with the Loma Linda Broadcasting Network.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A common regret my older patients have shared is that they\u2019ve held onto offenses far too long. The hurts they experienced were most often inflicted by significant others, parents, grown children, and friends.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":279,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[69,36,43],"class_list":["post-277","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health-wellness","tag-forgiveness","tag-health","tag-loss"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/277","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=277"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/277\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":285,"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/277\/revisions\/285"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/279"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=277"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=277"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=277"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}