Today, we\u2019re moving into the action phase. No checklists. No tips that feel forced. No \u201cdo this or fail\u201d pressure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As I share these ideas with you I want to share what God has done in my marriage\u2014and how He can guide yours\u2014as you rebuild closeness, playfulness, and desire in a gentle, faith-filled way. My marriage continues to be a journey, and I can tell you truthfully, I could not have imagined that God could lead and transform our marriage to this loving, passionate thriving relationship. But he has, it is better than I could have ever imagined! I\u2019m so glad you are here trusting me, I know God has brought you here for a reason.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Friend, I know what it\u2019s like to feel stuck:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You want intimacy but feel distant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You want romance but fear the intimacy you one had is gone forever.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You want desire but feel awkward or guilty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019ve been there. I remember so vividly a morning after a particularly tense week\u2014the kids no longer living at home, grief was heavy, and my husband and I barely connected. I thought, \u201cIs this all there is?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That\u2019s when God began teaching me that rebuilding intimacy is not about performance\u2014it\u2019s about presence, safety, and playfulness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Here\u2019s a truth I want to anchor in your heart:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Intimacy isn\u2019t a moment. It\u2019s an atmosphere you create over time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s built in:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
- \n
- Soft gestures instead of harsh words<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Appreciation instead of criticism<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Laughter instead of tension<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Curiosity instead of assumptions<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n
In my own marriage, I started small. A gentle touch in the morning. A playful grab during the day. A shared smile when we passed in the hallway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
These little moments stacked up. And slowly, intimacy began to return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
3 Gentle Ways to Rebuild Intimacy<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Hack #1: Play Like You Did When You First Met<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
When Leland and I first met, we laughed constantly, teased each other, and even danced in the kitchen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Years later, we intentionally brought that back:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
- \n
- Silly challenges<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Impromptu date nights<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Inside jokes and sending each other funny reels<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n
Play doesn\u2019t feel forced. It softens hearts. It invites desire back naturally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One evening we put on old music, danced in our living room, and laughed until we cried. That night, I felt alive in our marriage again. Desire wasn\u2019t missing\u2014it had been waiting for safety, joy, and connection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hack #2: Share Your Heart Honestly<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
- \n
- Vulnerability creates closeness.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Admit your feelings<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Express small desires and longings.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Avoid blame; invite understanding.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n
I remember how scary it was when I really opened up. When I took risks sharing that I wasn\u2019t doing well after everyone died. I missed the kids. I opened up and shared ideas I had that we could do together now that the kids were gone. I dropped that idea I\u2019ll tell you what I think you want to hear. That was a lie. What my husband really wanted was to know me, all of me. I dropped the mask and expressed my thoughts without filtering them. I began to take physical risks between us. That honesty opened the door to connection that had been quiet for years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hack #3: Invite God Into Every Moment and especially to be the center of your marriage<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
Believe me the world does not approach marriage this way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Faith is the secret ingredient in lasting intimacy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Return to physical church together (after covid we went church hunting, we realized some of our values did not line up with the values of the church we had been attending so we found one that did! And we found it together.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We made Sunday\u2019s special again, we go to church and a fun brunch afterwards, making the whole day a small celebration of rest and renewal together!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have a quiet time each morning where I pray to the lord and thank him for my marriage. I pray for my husband. I pray and ask God to give me a selfless heart toward my husband and I ask God to show me ways to show respect for my husband and show me ways to love my husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I prayed for God to help me lead with love instead of frustration. That prayer transformed ordinary conversations into opportunities for connection, warmth, and desire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Friend, I want you to hear this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You are not too late.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Your marriage is not broken.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Desire is not gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When Leland and I intentionally layered playfulness, honesty, and faith over our everyday life, intimacy returned. Even decades into our marriage, we now have spontaneous laughter, candlelit dinners, and quiet mornings that feel magical.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You can experience the same. It doesn\u2019t have to be perfect\u2014it just has to be intentional.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Gentle Reflection Questions for this week<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Ask yourself:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
- \n
- Where can I add playfulness this week?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- What conversation have I been avoiding that could bring us closer?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
- How can I invite God into the little moments today?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n
Even small changes\u2014soft gestures, playful laughter, heartfelt honesty\u2014can shift the atmosphere of your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Call to Action<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Now it\u2019s your turn:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Start with one small playful act today.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Have one honest conversation that you have been afraid to have, have it this week.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Invite God into it all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And if you want ongoing support, encouragement, and connection with women navigating this same season, come join my private Facebook group:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Empty Nest Wives \u2013 Rebuilding Intimacy & Connection<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n
You don\u2019t have to navigate this alone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Friend, God continues to work miracles in my marriage\u2014and He can do the same in yours.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Even in the quiet mornings, the playful evenings, and the shared laughter\u2014He is at work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Your marriage can be joyful, fun, and deeply connected again. Desire can return. Intimacy can flourish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Let\u2019s walk this journey together. \ud83d\udc9b<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n\n\n\nNew to The Best-Life Project?<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
Please read these foundational posts:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Best Life Dream Story<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n
Best-Life Definition<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n
Read More from This Author:<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
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