{"id":3070,"date":"2026-07-09T11:15:21","date_gmt":"2026-07-09T16:15:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/?p=3070"},"modified":"2026-07-11T09:34:42","modified_gmt":"2026-07-11T14:34:42","slug":"reset-love-build-connection-and-awaken-your-sex-drive","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/2026\/07\/09\/reset-love-build-connection-and-awaken-your-sex-drive\/","title":{"rendered":"Reset Love, Build Connection, and Awaken Your Sex Drive\u00a0"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

     
Have you ever thought: \u201cI want to feel close again, I just don\u2019t know how to get there.\u201d You\u2019re trying. You\u2019re more aware. You\u2019re even showing up differently. But when it comes to real intimacy\u2014emotional closeness, vulnerability, desire\u2014something still feels blocked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you\u2019re honest, It\u2019s not just him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s that you don\u2019t feel fully open. You might not say it out loud, but inside, it sounds like: \u201cHe won\u2019t respond the way I need.\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s just easier to keep it to myself.\u201d So you stay: a little guarded, filtered, and protected. You say you want intimacy. But are you actually letting him in? Because this is one of the biggest hidden blocks to connection in midlife marriage.

Every woman has reasons she became guarded: disappointment, misunderstanding, feeling unseen\u2014moments that didn\u2019t go the way you hoped. So, you adapted. You learned to keep things to yourself and to not say everything you feel; protect your heart instead of risking it.

But most women don\u2019t realize, the same protection that kept you safe, is now keeping you disconnected.

Have you ever felt: \u201cIf I shared my thought and goals with my husband there is no way he is going to support that?\u201d When I hit the empty-nest season, I had feelings of: \u201cWhat am I supposed to do now. The kids are gone; the house is quiet. What now?\u201d I had always wanted to write a book, that was one dream. I had thought I would love to captain a tennis team, after all, I had been playing for years. I also had the thought I would love to start a podcast. Since the kids were gone and the house was empty, I now had time. But deep down, I was afraid my husband would think these ideas were silly. I had self-doubt and a real loss of direction.

I had to face this fear\u00a0in my marriage. There were seasons where I thought I was open, but I really wasn\u2019t. I was sharing the surface but filtering the deeper parts and holding back what I really felt. Because in my mind\u00a0it felt safer not to risk, to be misunderstood, or to be disappointed. But what God began to show me was that I was asking for intimacy, while staying emotionally guarded. And those two things can\u2019t coexist. That was a turning point for me. I wanted him to be my best friend, but I was holding back this deeper part of me; the part that wanted to explore new challenges.

Most women don\u2019t see that intimacy is not created by effort, it\u2019s created by openness\u2014not perfection, having the right words, or him doing everything right. But by being emotionally available. When you\u2019re guarded, you don\u2019t fully express and engage. You don\u2019t fully receive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ultimately, over time, connection starts to fade. Not because you don\u2019t love each other but because you\u2019re not fully letting each other in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to Start Letting Him In<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Notice where you\u2019re holding back.<\/strong> Ask yourself: \u201cWhat am I not saying that I actually feel?\u201d Not in a dramatic way, in an honest way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Choose honesty over control.<\/strong> A lot of times we don\u2019t open up because we want to control how it\u2019s received. But intimacy doesn\u2019t come from control, it comes from truth. That might look like: \u201cI have some new ideas I want to share with you. \u201cI want to figure out a way to spend more time with you.\u201d \u201cHave I ever told you about\u2026.\u201d and you open up about an area you\u2019ve never shared. Simple. Real. Open.

Release the need for the perfect response. <\/strong>This is big. Because if you\u2019re waiting for him to respond perfectly, you\u2019ll stay closed. Instead ask yourself: \u201cAm I willing to be open, even if it\u2019s not perfect?\u201d That\u2019s where connection begins.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let yourself be seen again<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Not the \u201cput together\u201d version; the \u201cI\u2019ve got it handled\u201d version. It could be: \u201cI did the dumbest thing.\u201d The real you. Because intimacy grows when you are known.

God never designed you to live guarded in your marriage. He designed marriage to be a place of connection, safety, and knowing. But that requires trust\u2014not just in your husband, but in God working through your marriage. Sometimes the step of faith isn\u2019t fixing anything, it\u2019s opening your heart again.

As I close, I want you to ask yourself: \u201cWhere am I protecting myself instead of opening up?\u201d And then ask: \u201cWhat would it look like to let him in\u2014just a little more?\u201d

This week, I encourage you to practice one small moment to be more open than usual.
It might be sharing something you normally keep inside, expressing appreciation more freely, or saying how you actually feel instead of brushing it off. Nothing big. Just one real moment. Because this is how intimacy is rebuilt.

Picture your marriage one year from now, you\u2019re not guarded, you\u2019re open. Conversations feel easier, connection feels natural and you don\u2019t feel like you\u2019re holding back. You feel safe being fully yourself. Intimacy and romance flow. Not because everything is perfect, but because you\u2019re fully present with each other. That kind of marriage starts with openness.

You don\u2019t rebuild intimacy by waiting for him to change. You rebuild it by allowing yourself to be seen again. And when you start making decisions to open, share, and soften, everything begins to shift.
 
Before I close, think about this a little differently, not just \u201cWhat do I want my marriage to look like in a year?\u201d but \u201cWho do I want to be in my marriage a year from now?\u201d Do you want to be more open, connected, playful, expressive, and
more at ease with your husband? And if that\u2019s who you want to become, what would change in your marriage? Because intimacy, desire, and connection don\u2019t just appear. They grow from who you decide to be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So picture it, a year from now, you\u2019re not overthinking everything, you\u2019re not holding back, you\u2019re not second-guessing connection. You are talking more freely, laughing more easily, feeling that natural pull toward each other again. And your marriage doesn\u2019t feel heavy; it feels light, connected, and alive. Hold onto that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not just the picture of your marriage, but the version of you inside it.
 
Opening up changed more for me than I ever expected. I used to hold things in\u2014ideas, desires, and things I wanted to try. If I\u2019m honest, part of me assumed: \u201cHe probably won\u2019t get it\u201d or \u201cHe won\u2019t really support this.\u201d But when I started sharing those parts of me, just simply and honestly, he did.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m so thankful I opened. Because since that time, I captained a tennis team that made it to the playoffs and now I have a thriving podcast that he has fully supported and encouraged me in. But more than that, it brought us closer because he got to see me again. Not just the managing-life version, but the real me. And that\u2019s what intimacy is built on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m not sharing this as something perfect. I\u2019m sharing it as something possible. Because this is what God has walked me through in my own marriage and I believe he can do the same for you!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

New to The Best-Life Project?<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Please read these foundational posts:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Best Life Dream Story<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Best-Life Definition<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Read More from This Author:<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Monette Sedberry<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\"Smiling
Monette Sedberry<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Monette Sedberry is the host of the weekly podcast Midlife Marriage Makeover, where she encourages Christian empty-nester wives to rebuild connection, spark fresh joy, and invite God back into the center of their marriage. A lifelong learner and storyteller, Monette shares practical wisdom, faith-filled mindset shifts, and honest reflections from her own journey\u2014both on her podcast and here at The Best-Life Project. Her words flow with honesty and compassion, giving women hope that change is possible. <\/p>\n\n\n\n


Monette lives in Albuquerque, NM with her husband Leland. They have three adult children and love adventuring, traveling, and savoring this new season of life together. Learn more at: http:\/\/linktr.ee\/Miracle_Marriage<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want support and honest conversation about intimacy, connection, and midlife marriage, join Monette\u2019s private Facebook community: Empty Nest Wives: Rebuilding Intimacy & Connection<\/strong>
https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/groups\/emptynestwives<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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     Have you ever thought: \u201cI want to feel close again, I just don\u2019t know how to get there.\u201d You\u2019re trying. You\u2019re more aware. You\u2019re even showing up differently. But when it comes to real intimacy\u2014emotional closeness, vulnerability, desire\u2014something still feels blocked. And if you\u2019re honest, It\u2019s not just him. It\u2019s that you don\u2019t…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":3080,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,15],"tags":[357],"class_list":["post-3070","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-marriage","category-soul","tag-emotional-closeness"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3070","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/10"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3070"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3070\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3082,"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3070\/revisions\/3082"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3080"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3070"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3070"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3070"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}