{"id":702,"date":"2023-09-05T14:06:43","date_gmt":"2023-09-05T19:06:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/?p=702"},"modified":"2024-06-19T06:14:14","modified_gmt":"2024-06-19T11:14:14","slug":"death-in-a-stepfamily","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/2023\/09\/05\/death-in-a-stepfamily\/","title":{"rendered":"Death in a Stepfamily"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\u201cLaura, Dad has had a stroke; the doctors don\u2019t think he\u2019s going to make it.\u201d I instantly recognized the voice of my brother, Mark.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I got the call I was in Tyler, Texas getting ready to stand on a platform before 750 women to share with them my favorite message, \u201cWho\u2019s Your Daddy?\u201d I was enthused and ready to have a fun time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That call changed everything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How would I speak before this group, as I fought back my tears? My own father lay dying in Buffalo, New York, while I was in Dallas, Texas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I remained at the event and with God\u2019s help finished my speaking commitment. I flew into Buffalo on a grey and gloomy January morning. Mark picked me up from the airport, we went directly to ICU.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had no idea what was about to happen would become another lesson in stepfamily living. By this point in life, most of us probably think we have worked through all of the issues surrounding our stepsiblings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then I looked at the man standing outside my father\u2019s room, his familiar hazel eyes were the first thing I noticed. It took me a few minutes to connect those eyes to the person. I realized it was my stepbrother, Mark (yes, it is confusing sometimes), whom I had not seen in over 20 years. My dad adopted him when he was married to my first stepmother. This Mark, the one I didn\u2019t recognize, was her son from a previous marriage and legally became my father\u2019s child after the adoption.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dad and my first stepmom got divorced several years after the adoption. Over the years all of us became adults and went our separate ways. I had very little contact with my stepbrothers, or my half-brother, after my father\u2019s second marriage dissolved.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Until this moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Suddenly, life, death, and the law propelled us into an unexpected and complex family reunion. We were required to make overwhelming life-and-death decisions with people we hadn\u2019t seen in many years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Before I arrived, the hospital staff was pressuring my stepbrother to pull the plug on Dad\u2019s respirator. I shall always be eternally grateful to my stepbrother for the decision to keep dad alive until I could get there to say goodbye. Although he barely knew me, he gave me a gracious and life-changing gift.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The three of his by his side, I prayed over him before they disconnected the equipment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The two men decided to go to the waiting room, while I stayed by my father\u2019s side. As the machines slowly dropped their pace, I handed my earthly daddy over to my heavenly Daddy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If my brothers and I thought the decision making was over, we were sorely mistaken. Although I asked my father many times to obtain a will he never did. The frenzy of decisions continued. Cremation, funeral homes, organ donations, etc. all had to be decided and paid for.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our newly reassembled stepfamily trudged through the uncharted territory of death and dying.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Immediate decisions needed to be made about things such as:<\/p>\n\n\n\n