Nextdoor<\/a> app. In December, after I\u2019d been in Lubbock almost a year, I was in bed one morning having a pity party. I lay there thinking to myself: \u201cIf I was back in Albuquerque, I would be preparing to host my church\u2019s women\u2019s Christmas party.\u201d But I wasn\u2019t back in Albuquerque. While I had found a new church home in Lubbock, I knew church politics enough to know that I couldn\u2019t go to the leadership team at my new church home and suggest that I host a Christmas party for the women. There would be too many hoops to make it happen within a week or two. So, while still in bed, I pulled up the Nextdoor app. For those who don\u2019t know, it identifies and verifies people who live in your specific neighborhood. People post announcements about lost pets, shady characters, items for sale, and ask for recommendations. I posted an announcement about a possible women\u2019s Christmas party. Within a few hours, I had dozens of ladies interested. Several offered to help. We created a committee and made plans. About 40 women came to the Christmas party.<\/p>\n\n\n\nOnce I had a party planned, I had something to which I could invite others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I also knew one other gal in Lubbock: Yvonne. She\u2019d been the president of her Republican Women\u2019s Club where she lived in New Mexico\u2014as was I. We were acquainted through our political efforts. We\u2019d each moved to Lubbock for men\u2014men we\u2019d met elsewhere who lived in Lubbock. We married them. I invited her to the Christmas party. She came. We\u2019ve become very close friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Another one of my dearest friends is also the result of the Nextdoor app. I knew her in New Mexico, but we were not friends. In fact, I was intimidated by her\u2014which we laugh about now. LuAnn was the executive assistant for the primary donor of the nonprofit organization for which I was the Executive Director. She controlled his calendar and, therefore, my access to him. We\u2019d both since left the oil and gas industry and each, without knowing it about the other, had moved to Lubbock. I posted something on the Nextdoor app using my new married name: Marita Tedder. She recognized the name Marita, but not my last name. She saw my photo and concluded I was the Marita she knew. She reached out to me. We\u2019ve become close friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Later, her sister-in-law, Sue, also moved to Lubbock. She, too, had few friends in Lubbock. She quickly became part of our little group of friends. Another friend of theirs from New Mexico, Jacquelyn, moved to Lubbock and was quickly absorbed into our growing merry little band.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wonderful Group of Friends<\/h3>\n\n\n\n These efforts became the basis of the wonderful group of girlfriends I enjoy today.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Expanding the group, at a wine event, a new gal asked if she could sit with us. Turns out she was new in town too. We added her to the group. At a different wine event, we met Susan. She, too, was new in town. By then, our group had grown. We invited her to join us. She says: \u201cOvernight, I went from having no friends to having 30!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kathy came into our group due to a connection made through volunteer work in the community. Naturally an introvert, Kathy had to step out of her comfort zone and knock at Sue\u2019s door to attend her first event with our group.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Other\u2019s we met though our involvement in the Lubbock Women\u2019s Club. But, once again, we watched for those who were new in town and needed friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Church Interactions<\/h3>\n\n\n\n Two of the newer members of our group came because I serve as a greeter at my church<\/a>\u2014fifth Sunday of the month (which means I only serve occasionally). Upon greeting them, I ask if this is their first time at Live Oak. If I feel a click, and they are new in town, I invite them to our next gathering. For some it works, others, it doesn\u2019t. But several of our girlfriends, Peggy and Chloie, have come through that.<\/p>\n\n\n\nOnce we had a \u201cgroup,\u201d they have begun to invite others in. Others, still, see our Facebook posts and want to be a part of the fun. As they say, the rest is history.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The key point is that it didn\u2019t just happen. It was intentional. Starting with a Christmas party of strangers and then, watching for people who were new in town and needed a group of girlfriends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is worth it<\/h3>\n\n\n\n When I shared these ideas with Patti, whose sister was in a new town in Arizona and didn\u2019t have any friends, I suggested that she use Facebook to find events in her area, she didn\u2019t think her sister would do that. But making friends is an intentional effort\u2014one that is worth it! It takes stepping out of your comfort zone and watching for others who may need friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My girlfriends are a big part of living my best life. This is what I did. What ideas do you have for making friends?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\n
Marita Littauer Tedder<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\nMarita has spent the majority of her adult life working with women\u2014helping them improve relationships, achieve their speaking and writing dreams, and being the best version of themselves they can possibly be. The author of 20 books, this Living Our Best Life Project is her newest effort\u2014through which she hopes to challenge women to be fulfilled where they are.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Making friends is an intentional effort\u2014one that is worth it! It takes stepping out of your comfort zone and watching for others who may need friends.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":80,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,8],"tags":[23,24],"class_list":["post-78","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-girlfriends","category-relationships","tag-friends","tag-girlfriends"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/78","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=78"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/78\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":841,"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/78\/revisions\/841"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/80"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=78"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=78"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=78"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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