{"id":880,"date":"2023-11-12T16:58:42","date_gmt":"2023-11-12T22:58:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/?p=880"},"modified":"2024-06-19T06:12:18","modified_gmt":"2024-06-19T11:12:18","slug":"are-you-making-these-three-mistakes-with-your-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/2023\/11\/12\/are-you-making-these-three-mistakes-with-your-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"Are You Making These Three Mistakes with Your Marriage?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

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If you\u2019re new, welcome, and if you\u2019ve been following the last three posts you know I\u2019m doing a series on Marriage. This one could be a standalone, but if you can, go back and read the three previous posts leading up to this one as they build the foundation for this series.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This series is specifically for the Christian woman whose marriage is fine but could be so much more, the woman that\u2019s not married but wants to be married, the Christian woman that knows her marriage is in trouble and divorce is not off the table, or your marriage is doing great and you know it could even be better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This series makes me a little nervous. I\u2019m a bible believing Christian who knows I\u2019m supposed to do this series. I am a flawed Christian that has made it to 30+ years of marriage by God\u2019s grace. I\u2019m sharing what I\u2019m sharing not because I\u2019m perfect, but because the one who created me is perfect. If there is anyone who has tried to destroy my marriage, besides Satan, it\u2019s me. I\u2019ve had to make so many self-corrections.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Quick Review<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

In the first post in this series<\/a>, we talked about Christian marriage compared to secular world view marriage. The Christian marriage is based on God\u2019s truths from the Bible. That he created us, he created marriage, and his biblical truths are unchanging. secular world view marriage is basically a legal contract where marriage benefits each person, but marriage continues to evolve as social norms continue to evolve. So, it changes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The second one<\/a>, I discussed that God created the perfect marriage and that changed when sin entered the world when Adam and Eve disobeyed God after he warned them that if they ate from the tree of knowledge the tree of good and evil, they would experience death. They ate from the forbidden tree, God not only gave consequences to Adam, but He also gave consequences to Eve\u2014and we experience those consequences today. This original sin separated us from God. But God had a plan for redemption and restoring our relationship to him. As believers we believe God sent his son Jesus to be the sacrifice for us, and God tells us in John 3:16 that God gave us His one and only son and if we believe in Him and that He died for us and we accept him as Lord and our personal savior, we will not die but have eternal life with God in heaven. That was a quick summary. So why is all of that so important?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you agree with what I have shared so far it means that God the creator of you and me, the creator of marriage, has given us His Word and the indwelling Holy Spirit (if we are a Christian). He gave us his Holy Spirit to understand his Divine Word. Doesn\u2019t it make sense, then, that the Bible is the ultimate playbook that gives us his perfect instruction for marriage. I want you to not just hear this, I want you to test me. Pray about this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why is this so crucial? It is so important to know why you believe what you believe. Satan (the serpent) met with Adam and Eve in the garden and told them to eat of the Tree of Knowledge and that if they did, they would be as smart as God. They listened to Satan, and we\u2019ve talked about the consequence of that decision and how sin entered the world. Bottom line: Satan wants to destroy marriages. He is the father of lies. He is still roaming this earth. Do you see where I am going with this and why your Christian foundation is so important.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I believe God created marriage! I believe that within the structure and boundaries of marriage God transforms us to be who he designed us to be and transforms our spouse to be who God designed him to be. If this is true, which by faith I believe it is, listening to the world and getting instruction relying on the world\u2019s ever evolving and changing views about marriage, can you see how destructive it is. It\u2019s two different things! We are being deceived!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Worldly Advice<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

The biggest struggles I\u2019ve personally experienced in my marriage is when I have allowed Satan to have a foothold. When I venture off on my own, want to be a part of this world, and get enticed by worldly advice instead of God\u2019s biblical truths, that is when my marriage has been most vulnerable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How about you? Is this resonating with you? The verse that is coming to mind right now is Romans 12:2 from the New International Version (NIV) of the Bible: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is\u2014his good, pleasing and perfect will.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, what does the world tell you to do when you feel you are no longer in love with your husband? Leave him, there is someone better out there! Right? (I can almost hear the pushback: what if my husband is listening to the world\u2019s advice?) I am not addressing husbands; I\u2019m talking to you. We cannot control what our husbands think or do. But each of us can. One of my biggest breakthroughs in my marriage was when I finally realized, I am not here to change my husband into who I want him to be. That\u2019s God\u2019s job. God\u2019s call for me is to love God first and surrender and trust Him, have a relationship with Him and allow Him to transform me. God has called me to love and respect my husband to leave my original family and cleave to him, to protect my marriage, to forgive and work out our differences. Here, I am speaking to you, not that these things don\u2019t apply to your husband as well. I know that the growth and changes that have occurred in my marriage is when God has changed me!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here’s another “worldly advice” trap: women are oppressed, we are the victims, we must fight for our rights. This general attitude will eventually destroy your marriage. Don\u2019t get me wrong, there is sin in the world and oppressors, but if you go into marriage wanting to prove your independence, this will not build your marriage, it will eventually destroy it!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What\u2019s another one of Satan\u2019s tactics? The man hater clubs we join. You may say: \u201cI\u2019m not a part of a man hater\u2019s club.\u201d But, have you ever sat with a group of women and someone shares a story about her husband and his faults, and then someone else shares her story, you join in because it\u2019s fun at the moment. Everyone is laughing and having a great time at the expense of your husband. The reason I can explain this so well is because I have been married 30+ years, I know this scenario all too well. It\u2019s very enticing; It feels harmless and innocent. It is an ugly trap. Then you go home to your spouse, and you\u2019re supposed to love and respect him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Satan wants to destroy your marriage. As Christian\u2019s we know that the battles we fight are not flesh and blood. It is spiritual warfare. Like the verse Ephesians 6:12 (NIV): “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Action Steps<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

These are the action steps I\u2019d like you to take this week. Get out that journal. Write down these scriptures I\u2019ve shared. Is there anything I\u2019ve shared that you don\u2019t agree with? Write that down too! Do your research. Pray and be discerning. I am trying to simplify and make this palatable. Do you believe what I have been talking about? In your journal, please answer another question and be honest with yourself. Do you read the Bible? Why or why not? Most people don\u2019t. I\u2019m trying to make the case that this is one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make besides accepting Christ. We will talk about taking baby steps by putting reading the Bible in your life in a future episode, for now I want you to ponder that idea. Do I read the Bible, why, or why not? I\u2019m talking about reading and understanding the Bible so you know what you believe, what you stand on, what your Christian values are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\"smiling
Monette Sedberry <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Monette hosts a weekly podcast:\u00a0Mornings with Monette<\/a>. She has been a life-long learner and and appreciates the opportunity to share what she has learned\u2013both through her podcast and here at The Best-Life Project (based on the content of her weekly podcast). Her messages are raw, honest and straight from the heart. She lives in Albuquerque, NM with her husband Leland. They have three adult children and are enjoying living their best lives filled with travel and adventure.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I believe God created marriage! I believe that within the structure and boundaries of marriage God transforms us to be who he designed us to be and transforms our spouse to be who God designed him to be. If this is true, which by faith I believe it is, listening to the world and getting instruction relying on the world\u2019s ever evolving and changing views about marriage, can you see how destructive it is. It\u2019s two different things! We are being deceived!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":881,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,15],"tags":[61,31],"class_list":["post-880","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-marriage","category-soul","tag-best-life","tag-marriage"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/880","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/10"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=880"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/880\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":882,"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/880\/revisions\/882"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/881"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=880"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=880"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livingyourbestlife60plus.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=880"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}