Memories as Mementos

I took the Love Languages test years ago and it was no surprise to anyone that my love language is gift giving: both giving and receiving gifts. When I meet with my friends I try to bring a token of friendship. My friends usually reciprocate with something like homemade bookmarks or delicious jam. Little things that make our gatherings special. When we go to a friends’ house for dinner, I feel empty-handed without a dessert or bouquet of flowers.  

My dad, too, was a gift-giver. He’d bring home flowers for Valentine’s Day; jewelry for birthdays; or win stuffed animals for me when we’d go to the State Fair. One Christmas when I had been away at college, I came home to find my parents had bought me a brand new Mustang! And yeah, I gratefully acknowledge I was a bit spoiled and loved it.

The Art of Gift Giving

When I got married almost forty years ago, I found that I needed to train my husband in the art of gift giving. For my first Mother’s Day, he gave me a plastic file cabinet. As I opened it, he asked, “Don’t you like it?!? …You said you wanted to get organized.”

“Well, yeah,” I replied, “But jewelry, or flowers, or clothes might’ve been more appropriate since I gave birth to an almost eight-pound baby—without an epidural!!”

Needless to say, when the next Mother’s Day rolled around, there was a small box with a sparkly jewel inside from my acts of service husband to his gift loving wife. (Like I said, a little bit spoiled.)

Needing Marie Kondo?

Years later, my views have changed. It could be because my jewelry box is filled and my house is beginning to look a bit like a hoarder’s paradise. (I may need some help from Marie Kondo to only keep items that give me joy—everything else can go!) Or maybe my priorities have changed. I’ve helped my grandfather move from his home in Texas to a senior living home in New Mexico to a nursing home to heaven. I’ve watched my mom move from her large home in the Albuquerque foothills to an over 55 apartment near me. I don’t know about you, but I’ve found that it’s emotionally exhausting to downsize. And the great lesson is, sometimes stuff is just stuff. But memories last forever.

The Best Gift: Memories as Mementos

So, for the last few years, my husband and I have decided the best gift we can give one another are memories as mementos. Depending on our budget, we give ourselves big or small memories and tuck them away like little treasures. One year we splurged on a river cruise on the River Seine to Normandy. That trip packed in such jewels as stops in Paris, fancy meals, trips to castles that reminded us of Camelot, and nights onboard holding hands looking up at the stars. One year we did a road trip to Yellowstone and went glamping. That trip we found deer outside our teepee, roasted marshmallows around the campfire with fellow travelers, and amazing wildlife like eagles, moose, and bear—oh my! We’ve made memories as simple as taking a road trip to see the leaves changing then stopping at our favorite burger joint. We’ve found we’re only limited by our imaginations. And we can access our memories in our thoughts, dreams, and photographs—and share them with friends and loved ones over coffee, tea, or dinner.

So what about you? Have you run out of ideas for the perfect gift for your husband, best friend, or child? Maybe it’s time you start making memories your mementos.

“Don’t cry because it’s over; smile because it happened.” Dr. Seuss.

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Penny Rose is an ECPA award-winning author who co-created the Fresh Life series. She was instrumental in writing and editing the bestselling New Women’s Devotional Bible and the True Identity Bible published by Zondervan. She has been married for almost forty years to the love of her life, Kerry, an architectural designer turned pastor. She loves to travel, read and, like most authors, dreams of writing the next great American novel. You can follow her on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter @pennyprose.