According to the Mayo clinic, friendships enrich our lives and improve our health. They increase our sense of belonging and purpose. Friendships can boost our happiness and reduce our stress. They not only improve our self-confidence and self-worth, but they also help us cope with traumas.
I have many circles of friends. However, my most treasured is with my “Sunday Sistas” from the East Mountains of New Mexico who I’ve known for over 12 years. What started out as a group of church ladies blossomed into enduring life friendships. We’ve been together through three divorces, two weddings, cancer, a brain tumor, stroke, job losses, interstate moves, and the global pandemic. These women are true friends who stand by you through good times and hard times.
We’ve had countless get togethers, dinners out, movie nights, wine tastings, road trips, spa days, brunches, birthday celebrations, high tea outings, art gallery exhibitions, and New Year’s Eve parties. While I’ve listened and watched my fellow Sunday Sistas move on with their lives, and even get remarried, I’ve always been reluctant to commit to a long-term relationship for fear of failing again. However, with encouragement and prayer from my girlfriends, I’ve learned to trust myself again and to believe that there are good men of high value out there waiting to find the right woman to call “the one.”
Dating 60+
About five months ago, I was introduced to a new gentleman through my neighbor. She told me, “He’s a great catch Gale. Creative like you, about the same age, a kind and sweet family man. There’s just one thing you need to know. He has low vision and he no longer drives.” I was curious about him, so I took a chance and said “Yes” when he asked me out for a coffee date.
The physical attraction was immediate, but the emotional attraction took longer to settle in. As you might have guessed, by the time a person reaches their sixties, they have baggage, right? There are ex-spouses, former relationships, adult children, grandchildren, pets, houses, careers, pending retirement, and there are undoubtedly health issues. As a cancer survivor myself, I had pondered when the right time would be for me to share this information with a potential suitor. For the new man in my life, he pondered if he would ever find another woman who would accept him as a whole man with his limited vision. After we revealed our deepest insecurities to each other, we smiled and realized it was not a big deal after all. At our age, it isn’t about finding the perfect man, but, rather, the man who is right for us. We love each other’s companionship and decided to commit to a long term exclusive relationship. Woo Hoo!
Over the past six decades, I’ve made a lot of friends and I’ve lost some, too. Real friends are hard to come by. I’ve lived all over this country from California to Georgia to Oklahoma to Hawaii to Maryland to New Mexico. I’ve met many people through college, military life, marriage, single parenthood, corporate life, church, as an educator, and from everyday life. Through it all, I’ve learned the value that friendships bring to my life. Friends keep you balanced when the rest of your world feels like it’s spinning out of control. What I know now more than anything else, is to cherish and honor my friendships!
Gale O’Brien is a writer, artist, wine connoisseur, life coach, and the award-winning author of the book Transformation: Creating an Exceptional Life in the Face of Cancer available from Amazon.com. She’s also the founder of the Passione Per L’Arte blog. A former schoolteacher, Gale knows how to set an intention to live and pursue a passionate, exceptional life. She enjoys spending her free time with family, friends, and her dog. Gale lives in New Mexico where she is inspired by the people and the art culture of the Southwest.
Thank you for sharing your heart, your vulnerability, and your experiences. You are an example for all of us.
I appreciate your comment Lauren. Thank you!
Nice article Gale. The Covid period put us all thru a lot and changed the world, people, lifestyles, jobs, and more in ways we’re still discovering. In many ways it reduced our circle of friends bc of Covid fears and differences. “Time heals” they say and I’m praying for a Rebirth of family, friends, romance, and more. It’s amazing when you realize that the strongest stayed close during the scariest time of our lives.
Thank you Deborah.
What a wonderful article Gale! As one of the Sunday Sistas I can vouch for the friendships that I’ve developed over the years. These wonderful women are near and dear to my heart and I look forward to more outings with them. I truly do cherish ladies!
I’ve appreciated your love and support Karen through the past 12 years!
*** cherish these ladies***
This is such a small article to speak such big truths. You are speaking straight to my life, where I’ve been & hope to go. Thank you for the inspiration.
You’re welcome Susan!
Oh Gale! I am so thankful that you have found a “special someone.” How true when you said that once you’ve lived 60 years, there’s a LOT of stuff there. While i do not get to see my precious girlfriends who live far away very often, I KNOW they love me and know me. Thank you for sharing. I really enjoyed reading your story and echoing your heart.
I’m so happy to hear my article is relatable to so many others. Cheers Debbie!
I really liked this comment/article. In addition to being well written and sourced, it’s short and sweet descriptions hit a great note.
Thank you Janine!