My mother lived with me for the last two years of her life. She moved in with my husband and me because she was no longer able to take of herself. At her home in Palm Springs, following a scary hospital visit, we had 24/7 care for her and it was gastly expensive. As soon as that crisis was over and she was well enough, she moved to Texas.
Like many who move mom (or dad) in, it was done with little lead time. Mom came here and I moved her into our guest room. I made modifications to the room to make it work better for her. I changed out the second bedroom to be a sitting room for her. She had a professional caregiver come in twice a week who helped her shower and gave me a break.
My One Regret
As her health continued to improve, I made sure she had a good social life. She loved to shop. I know the last couple years of her life were good. But there is one thing I wish I’d done for her—I have only one regret.
When Mom moved in, I had been flipping houses. She needed enough care that I couldn’t work any longer; I couldn’t be gone from the house from 8:00-6:00. After almost a year, I got a call to remodel someone’s bathroom—which launched me into my current career as a remodeling contractor (read more here). That first job was a master bathroom. We changed out the small shower and garden tub for a large, curbless walk-in shower. I’ve done a lot of bathrooms and kitchens since then and have an amazing portfolio. But it wasn’t until more recently that I was asked to simply change out a standard/tub shower for a basic walk-in shower. I have found that we can do it for as little as $3500—though $5000 is more realistic—but we can always spend more. The tub/shower conversion in the photo above was done for an older couple and was in the higher price point.
Asking for Trouble
Since I found out how easy and cost-effective it is to change a tub/shower into a walk-in shower, I wish I had done that for my mother. This is even more important for the elderly who are still living in their own homes and taking care of themselves. I believe no elderly person should have to climb over a bathtub edge to bathe. Doing so, is asking for trouble. In my mother’s case, she had help getting into the shower, but I still wish it was easier for her.
A few weeks ago, I got a call from a women who needed her dad’s tub/shower converted and he needed it done right away as he’d been in the hospital, then in rehab. He was coming home soon and needed a walk-in shower. It took four days including the grab bars we put in on three sides of the shower, it was just under $3500. Both daughter and dad were thrilled with the finished product.
Cost-Effective
There are three key elements of this time- and cost-effective conversion. First, we used a prefab shower pan—which at the time of this writing is about $300. Next, we use budget friendly tile. Here, in Lubbock, we have Sutherlands Home Base. They have a lot of close-outs or seconds. For the project for the father coming home from the hospital, the total tile costs, including the accent tile was $84. In that price range, they only have a couple options in grey and a couple in beige, but if you like what they have, and cost is a major factor, it is a great deal. Wherever you live, there may be somewhere similar. The third is plumbing fixtures. Can you do with the basics available at your local Lowe’s or Home Depot or do you want a fancy finish or extra features? If you want the option of having both the regular showerhead and a handheld that can function separately or independently—using a diverter valve, and a rod (which can also serve as a grab bar) on which the hand-held can travel (as shown above), we are looking at around $1000. When dollars are a big concern, you can do a showerhead/hand-held unit with the valve for about $200. For the elderly, I believe a hand-held is essential. It allows them to bathe while seated.
Speaking of being seated, this is important. For the most budget conscious, you’d have a shower seat. If you can spend a little more, you can do a custom shower floor and a corner bench. I don’t recommend a built-in bench on a pre-fab floor.
If you have an elderly parent, either living on their own or in your home, who is having to bathe by climbing over a bathtub edge, I encourage you to consider his/her safety and comfort and look into changing the tub/shower combo out for a walk-in shower. It is not that big a project and it will likely improve the home’s value. Don’t let this be your regret.
Marita has spent the majority of her adult life working with women—helping them improve relationships, achieve their speaking and writing dreams, and being the best version of themselves they can possibly be. The author of 20 books, this Living Our Best Life Project is her newest effort—through which she hopes to challenge women to be fulfilled where they are.
Great post and good suggestions. Little things to be aware about when re-designing are very important as you discovered in the case with your mother. Thanks for sharing!
Marita, What a wonderful idea! It does turn a full bathroom into a 3/4 bathroom, which may not be an issue for most. (I love tubs and would crawl to reach one if I had to.) A friend here in NM built a roomy walk-in shower in her home. It had a wooden bench (warmer in a the high altitude cold), and it was concave-ish in the middle where the drain was. She could take her walker into the shower and use it to ease onto the bench. It allowed her and her husband to stay in their own home for much longer than they could have done otherwise. And, of course they had a wonderful daughter like you!
Thanks for commenting. I, too, am a bath girl. I am blessed to have both a tub and a shower. But many older homes were not made that way. For them, a conversion, as you said, allows them to stay in their own home.
I agree. I had slipped a few times stepping out of our tub shower and just knew I was destined to fall. I’m a natural klutz. We are so thankful that we took out our tub and made a walk in shower and we also updated our bathroom. Great investment!! Thank you Marita.
Thank you for your kind words! Your bathroom is beautiful! I didn’t show your photos as your project was much bigger than a simple tube/shower conversion–though we did convert your tub/shower combo.
I love my bathtub, but it is so deep, I wonder at what age will it be hazardous for me.
For sure it is much safer with a shower!
Absolutely the best thing you can do, not just for your mother but for all your older guests. Great advice.
Marita,
Thank you for sharing this with us. This is so informative. I just saw a news story yesterday discussing that due to inflation, that recently, there has been a rapid increase of older parents moving in with their adult children. Thankfully, my mom, lives in the same condo community as we do and she has the choice of a walk-in shower bath or a tub/shower combo. However, neither bath had the safety rails of which we added immediately. If you would want to continue the conversation, it would be wonderful to get your top ten tips on how to find reliable professionals and also, how we can save money on the front end before hiring someone to help us do any project? Lastly, and most importantly, you were/are an amazing daughter!
Your mom was a jewel and I know she appreciated everything you did for her!
Great input. Sometimes these changes feel overwhelming and just “too big a deal.” You’ve shown us just simple, and financially reasonable, it can be.
Hi Marita!
My tile man is banging and sawing as I write this prepping for the tile installation. I am implementing some of your suggestions, thank you!
I had my MIL with us for 4 months prior to her moving up north with my SIL, and I always held my breath as I helped her drag her leg over that bathtub and we’d both laugh and breathe a sigh of relief when she was safely seated while I helped her wash. Then to get her wet and slippery body back out with no grab bars was another challenge. When My FIL was living he was visiting his son in the CA mountains and insisted on taking a shower in their hundred year old Victorian house in the claw foot tub with only a shower curtain. His wife sat on the seat of the commode to make sure he was ok. What a nightmare when he lost his balance, grabbed onto the shower curtain and proceeded to fall out of the tub right on top of his wife. They both hit the floor, blocking the door so no one could get in. The stairwell wasn’t wide enough for the paramedics to get the gurney upstairs, and it was quite an ordeal finally getting them out.
This is a great service you are providing for folks Marita, and I agree with you, I wish I had converted this shower in time for her to enjoy it. It won’t be so very long before it may be a necessity for us, as well, and watching all your conversions inspired me to get it done.
Lastly, I just wanted to say how blessed your mama was to have those last couple of years with you. I have had the pleasure of interacting with your beautiful family first in So Cal at CLASS and Personality training, and another training in New Mexico. I have always admired your closeness, and especially appreciated how hard you worked to keep her looking beautiful and her social life active. I only hope my girls will do the same so this little Sanguine doesn’t sink into depression as I age!
You make my day! Thanks you! I am glad I inspired you.
Marita, So glad you posted this! I’ve been designing homes, baths, and showers like this for ADA and the Ageing Population for about 25 years. My previous 2 homes I designed from scratch and lived in were ADA compliant and once we decided to sell – they both sold very quickly. I always tell people that bathrooms like these add a bit more value to the home, sell faster, and don’t have to look like a hospital. They can be beautiful with the right material selections as you’ve shown in your pics. Plus if you have a 2 story home – make the ground floor ADA compliant which could mean widening a few doorways to the bedroom and bathroom. It could be for a senior or perhaps you’ve had surgery or broke something and can’t be going upstairs or thru narrow doorways. I gave a CEU Course in Albuquerque about 25-30 years ago and this was our focus.
Thanks for your comments! Yes, they do add value to the home–and be beautiful! I appreciate your expertise.
Here’s one we finished recently. It as not a budget project. It came out so beautifully!