If you’re about my age, that title may trigger the memory of a song by the same title released in June of 1976 by Elton John and KiKi Dee. It’s one of those lines in a song that can really get stuck in your head. In fact, I’m willing to bet that some of you are singing it in your head right now (sorry, not sorry).
In your lifetime, you’ve likely experienced several heartaches, and there is no shortage of songs written for broken hearted people. Songs often have a way of taking us back to a particular place and time and when I hear this song, strangely, I’m reminded of a women’s conference I attended back in the 1990’s.
Prayer Challenge
While at a women’s conference, in a breakout session led by Joyce Rogers, the wife of well-known pastor, Adrian Rogers, we received a prayer challenge. I confess that I don’t remember back that far to recall what the session was about, but boy do I remember the challenge. Being a good student, I took the challenge and it was truly life changing. Fervently, for days, weeks, and months, I prayed, “God, break my heart with the things that break yours.” It was a noble prayer that I prayed consistently. As they say (whoever “they” refers to), however, be careful what you pray for.
Yes, I took the challenge. What I didn’t do, however, was consider exactly what types of things actually break God’s heart. Have you ever thought about that?
Though it came as a surprise to me, months after the conference, my husband of almost twelve years decided he was “tired of responsibility” (his words, not mine) and took action on this decision New Year’s Eve 1999. Do you remember the concerns we had back then about Y2K? Were all of the computer systems going to shut down? Would we have electricity? Would we have access to our bank accounts? Would the world come to an end? It was a time of uncertainty.
While the world obviously didn’t come to an end when the clock struck midnight on Dec. 31, 1999, my world certainly did. On that day, my husband left our marriage and me, a five-month pregnant stay-at-home mother, with our four-year-old child. As he left to go “camping with a friend,” he calmly kissed me on the cheek before he walked out the door. I was confused because when he kissed me, the thought that began to flood my mind was “Judas kiss.” In that moment, God was preparing me.
Later, I was utterly devastated to learn what followed and that he would no longer live in our home. As an unexpected single mother, God continually reminded me in my spirit, “As much as this breaks your heart, it breaks mine even more.” My prayer had been answered. Now, I wasn’t exactly sure what an answer to that prayer was supposed to look like, but I could have thought of a thousand other prayers I would have rather God answered (I mean, a maid certainly would have been less costly!) In a weird sort of way, though, it was comforting that I was not alone in my grief because I knew that my Creator, the God of the universe, shared my sorrow.
My World Fell Apart, But My Faith Didn’t
What do we do when trials like this come? The book of James in the Bible tells us to rejoice. I can assure you, though, I was everything but rejoicing. I was crying so hard I could barely breathe, throwing up so much that I ended up in the hospital, screaming for help from God at the top of my lungs to restore my marriage, and yes, even silently cursing the man who abandoned his family.
My world fell apart, but my faith didn’t. It wasn’t God’s fault that my spouse wasn’t listening to Him. I had so many questions and so few answers. My offer to forgive the wrongs against me and to reconcile, was rejected. I felt God had called me to be a stay-at-home mother and now, I would not only have to return to work, but my children would also grow up in a home without both parents.
I was confused.
I was hurting.
I was exhausted.
Since those struggling single mom days, God has given me a new calling as a Christian speaker and life coach. For over 14 years, I’ve worked with women going through separation and divorce to help them go beyond surviving to thriving. I always tell those I work with that, while I hate the circumstances under which we meet, I’m so grateful for the joy of helping them reconfigure their life and gain a level of confidence they never knew with renewed purpose.
God truly can take the broken pieces and make a beautiful mosaic. He brought me through dark days I didn’t think I could survive. He took my trials and created a testimony that I get to share with women’s groups. He turned my pain into purpose. Now, God uses me to comfort others with the comfort I once received. He can do that through you as well.
2 Cor. 1:3-5: “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.”
While I certainly didn’t like the outcome of my prayer, I’m not sure I regret it. Although I haven’t prayed it since, it raised a new awareness inside me. Being a better student, I now reflect on “What breaks God’s heart?”
The Great Comforter
Regardless of the origin of our hurt, it is comforting to know that there is someone who understands our pain. We are not alone. Our loving, heavenly Father is not a distant deity, but one who cared enough to send us the Holy Spirit, a great comforter. Additionally, Jesus can empathize with our weaknesses, trials, temptations, and hurts. He is the wonderful counselor and friend who will never forsake us or leave us (Hebrews 13:5.) In our pain, Jesus longs for us to turn to him for comfort, for guidance, and for peace. A quote by an unknown author that has been on my refrigerator since my single mom days is “Sometimes God calms the storm; other times, He lets the storm rage and calms His child.”
If you feel your heart’s been broken, it just might break God’s heart, too. Surrender your heart to Jesus, the One who can mend it and bring beauty from ashes (Isaiah 61:3). He will provide strength and will sustain you.
Another favorite quote of mine is “Jesus can mend a broken heart, but you have to give Him all of the pieces.” (Author unknown) Have you given Him all the pieces?
God brought many people into my life to walk on my journey of shattered dreams. Some came for just a few miles, while others stayed longer on the trip. If you’re hurting, He is there and He won’t let you travel the road alone. Is there someone you need to reach out to that can walk alongside you in your trials? Or maybe you’ve been distant and you need to reach out to God. Don’t hesitate. Author Mel Robbins would encourage you to exercise the five-second rule and act before you talk yourself out of it. Nike would tell you to “just do it.” I encourage you get over the dreaded four-letter word “help” and allow someone close to you to help you carry the burden. If you’re independent like me, I know it’s hard to do. But I’m told that “breaking up is hard to do”, so “choose your hard.”
Perhaps you’ve been down the path of heartache and God is calling you to be that friend who comforts another and helps carry their burden. It’s biblical (Gal. 6:2). Who is God bringing to your mind right now? They need you and you can make a difference.
Take the next step. “Right from the start, give Him your heart. Restless? He’ll take the weight off of you. Knock on the door, He’ll give you the key. He’ll put the light in your life and be the spark to your flame. Don’t go breaking God’s heart.”
New to The Best-Life Project?
Please read these foundational posts:
Wendy Clements is a Christian speaker and life coach helping Christian women who don’t feel they are enough to increase their confidence. Through discovering and boldly embracing their God-given identity, clients achieve a more fulfilling, meaningful, and purposeful life. In addition to speaking to women’s groups, Wendy specializes in working with divorce recovery, dating, and pre-marital coaching. An Athens, GA native, Wendy holds a BBA from the University of Georgia and is a member of the AACC and ICCA. She enjoys cooking, reading, and spending time with grandchildren.