Maturing Along with Barbie

If you are like me, that image in the mirror looks more like a stranger on the street than who your own mental image says you are!

Did you know that Barbie is now over 70….and if she is anything like the REAL US, I know there should be several new-“old” Barbie’s on the drawing board:

• Bifocal Barbie—blended lenses with 16 designer colors; neck chain included
• Hot flash Barbie—just watch her face turn red; tiny drops of Perspiration appear under her nose. Personal fan and tissues included.
• Mid-Life Crisis Barbie—She’s outgrown Ken; comes with a personal trainer whose abs just don’t quit; red sports car and a B&B reservation in Wine Country!
• Divorcee Barbie—She gets Ken’s car, Ken’s house and Ken’s boat
• Menopausal Barbie—poor Babs cries a lot, forgets where she put her car Keys, and wets if she sneezes or laughs too hard; comes with Kleenex and Depends…
• Bunion Barbie—all those years on high heels have taken its toll; comes with pumice stone, portable foot spa, and terry slippers.

Not as Young as You Once Were

Well, perhaps you are not as old as I am, but no matter how old you are, you are not as young as you once were! You may be a wife, mother, sister, aunt, grandmother, business owner, caregiver, bible study teacher—or many other roles. I am most of those things, but in my HEART, I am still the same gal I have always been. You may notice the added pounds, the fuller face, the crow’s feet, the tired feet, but in my mind, I am just about 35. Of course, that gets harder to pull off when I know my oldest daughter is older than that, but if I focus really hard, I see the good ole’ days much better than they ever were, and I have successfully forgotten the really bad stuff, like the hair-do’s, the bell bottoms and the platform heels! Have you noticed they tried to bring some of that back? It wasn’t great the first time!

Though my heart and mind demand I continue to do the things I know I can do, my body protests that kneeling hurts, and if I insist on doing it, I may be down there longer than expected. Skiing while exciting, thrilling, and wonderful, quite frankly would be suicide, In fact, just sitting for too long means that upon standing, anyone close by may hear creaks and definitely a groan. I “sigh” much more than I remember doing in my younger years! When I go shopping and catch my reflection as I stroll up to my favorite store, I am sure it is my own mother I see! Yes, there she is! Definitely beyond middle age, pear-shaped, hair flying, sun glasses askew! And who changed the inventory inside my store? There was a time when anything I picked up would please me, now someone has replaced all my favorites with miniature versions that, oh dear me, look like they are intended for the “ladies” that walk the street at night, not for Jake’s grandma. Oh well, it was time to find another store anyway!

When did all the Changes Take Place?

When did all those changes take place? Somewhere between making lunches, teaching women’s Bible study, running off to work to “find myself” and contribute to our income tax bracket, (about the time when my kids were either in high school or college), writing whenever I could, and speaking many weekends a month— that’s when!

Changing Roles

My roles changed, also. I was an empty nester, the mother of married daughters, then grandma, mother of a divorced daughter, business owner, partner to a retired husband, partner to an entrepreneurial husband, writer, speaker, friend. Roles changed and lifestyle changed and sometimes attitudes changed! Sometimes I felt unwanted, unneeded; other times I felt unappreciated and misunderstood, which led to tears; sometimes powerful (hormones were the culprit, I am sure, now). My own mother had died of breast cancer at 62 years of age, so I really missed being able to ask her if what I was feeling was “normal” or early signs of mental illness, senility or perhaps Alzheimer’s. As it turned out it was quite another change. The change of life!

Some of my dear friends have had to learn to be a single person again, either because of divorce or because of the death of their mate. One of them told me upon the death of her beloved husband, “The spiritual investments we’ve made through the years have their greatest dividends when we suddenly face life alone.

Am I close to God now? Am I serving God in ministry? Are my relationships with friends meaningful? Do I share Jesus with them as our foundation?” Good questions to ask ourselves, regardless of where we are now.

Don’t Forget Your Girlfriends

I received an email recently from one of my “girlfriends” that basically said, “Don’t forget your girlfriends!” It was a story about a young woman who married, and her mother gave her that advice the week she was getting married. At the time she thought it strange. Later years showed the reason why. We always need another woman to be a friend, a sounding board, a confidant, whether our husbands live a long healthy life, or whether we are cast aside in divorce.

One of my fondest “girlfriend” moments was when two of my very “best-est” friends and I met in London, England for two weeks of “girl time.” We “punted on the cam” (boated down the Cambridge River) with a “punter” directing us, and we saw all the cathedrals and colleges along the way! We sang do-wop and danced in my friend’s living room on the Isle of Man and celebrated an early birthday of the other. We have great memories, and while we are separated now by 1500 miles, we call and email one another still. None of us will ever share those same memories with any other friend. They are our moments.

With other friends I’ve gone to retreats and conferences—and had a ball, giggling late into the night like teenagers. These are wonderful things to ponder when we are apart! And a great reminder about what friends can be when we are looking for “new friends” when we’ve moved to a new place!

We can age like fine wine or be a whiner! But, if we ask, why?” The answer has to be because that is what Life is! It changes, we change, things change! Get used to it! And get over it!

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Pam’s background has involved teaching, whether at women’s retreats, Bible Studies, or Personality Seminars. She also owned her own businesses: one in the medical field and then in Real Estate, which she did with her husband Bob. They have just moved to a condo in Branson, Missouri, and look forward to more adventures! Pam and Bob have loved their life experiences—wherever they took them—from the States and Canada, to a cruise in Tahiti—Living Their Best Life has always been their goal!