Putting out the Open Sign

Hostess with the Mostess

I posted the pictures from this year’s Super Bowl Party on Facebook. One of my guests responded: “Hostess with the mostess.” Because I do like to entertain, I seem to get called that a lot. I don’t mind the moniker, but I think it misrepresents what I actually do and may intimidate others who don’t share my love of hospitality.

Yes, I may be a “hostess” more than others—or the “mostess.” But that doesn’t make me a better hostess, just more frequent. I am blessed with a unique house that has a large great room. My husband and I hardly ever use the room. Why have this nice house, this great room, if we don’t use it. So, I do—especially in the winter. When the weather is good, I host patio parties. Did I mention we have a beautiful view?

Regardless of the size of your house or whether you have a view, you could still be hosting gatherings. It is not as hard as you think. Essentially, all I do is clean the house and put out the open sign. I invite people, ask them to bring a beverage or a bite to share, and they come!

Between my friends and I we have a party or two a month. Sometimes they are in a local restaurant (we do try to support “local”). More often, they are in someone’s home. Typically, the hostess doesn’t even cook anything. So, “I don’t cook” isn’t an excuse to not have a party. For some of you, I hope that sets you free!

Invite Guests

The hostess also is generally responsible for the invitation. For our merry little band, with the coordination of the hostess, I do all the invitations—but this is just because I like to do it. They don’t have to be as official looking as I make them, but if you have that skill, why not? I use Canva—which has templates and graphics that make creating a professional looking invitation very easy. Others might enjoy stamping or some other craft-type of handmade invitation. Or you can always just send an email or text to invite your friends. My invitations are sent via email.

For me, the biggest amount of work is coordinating who is, and who is not, coming and who is bringing what. I try to be sure we have a good mix of food/beverage items. We ask guests to RSVP via email and indicate their food/beverage contribution. Then, several days before the event, I send out another email with a list of who is, and who is not coming, with their contributions listed next to their names. If we are short something, I alert the group to that need. If this is not something you are good at, maybe someone else in our group of friends would handle the “administrative” work. One of my friends helps with this.

You can also create an event through Facebook. It has simple graphics you can use or you can add your own photo. The system totally walks you through how to do it. Once you do that, you can have an “invitation” sent to anyone you select. When they respond, Facebook keeps a running guest list. Of course, this only works with friends who are on Facebook. In my group of friends, less than 12% are not on Facebook, and I know who they are. It is easy to send them a separate email.

Tidy Up the House

The hostess does clean up the house. Though in my former life, I used to issue invitations that said something like: “I can afford to hire a cleaning service or buy food. So, I am choosing to believe that a good meal is more important than a clean house.” People still came. (Remember, I do like to cook. And, for the Super Bowl Party, my husband smoked meats.) The house doesn’t have to be spotless. You can close doors to rooms that are not “company ready.” Just tidy-up the area where your guests will be—including fresh towels in the bathroom. Our Super Bowl Party was held in the garage. We view it as a once-a-year incentive to clean the garage!

Set Up Glasses and Dishes

The hostess does typically provide all the table wear—which can be plastic. Though for some parties, we have a sign up and folks bring plastic plates, flatware, and napkins—while others sign up for food or beverage items. For many of us in this Best-Life stage, we have an abundance of pretty dishes, lovely glasses, and nice table linens. For us, parties are an excuse to get out the good stuff that we would, otherwise, seldom use. When we have thirty dirty wine glasses, for example, there are plenty of gals who chip in after the party and help with clean up.

Put Out the Open Sign

Once you have invited people and kept track of attendance/contributions, and you’ve cleaned the house, really all you have to do is put out the open sign. Turn on the lights where needed. Be sure you have enough seating (borrow chairs if appropriate) and tableware for the expected numbers. Make sure the bathroom has enough toilet paper. Maybe light a candle in the bathroom. If the party is, for example, in the back of the house, put a sign on the front door inviting your guests to “come on in!”

They will arrive at the appointed time with platters and/or bottles in their hands and the party will happen—all because you put out the open sign. It is not about having a perfect party—worthy of the society section of the paper (do they even do that anymore). It is about having a good time with your friends. If your friends expect you to have a white-glove house with gourmet food that you’ve slaved over (or hired caterers), do you really want them for friends? I know I don’t.

Easier Than You Think

Invite your guests and put out the open sign. You will find that being a hostess can be a lot easier than you may think.

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Marita has spent the majority of her adult life working with women—helping them improve relationships, achieve their speaking and writing dreams, and being the best version of themselves they can possibly be. The author of 20 books, this Living Our Best Life Project is her newest effort—through which she hopes to challenge women to be fulfilled where they are.