Illuminate Your Christmas with Faith and Joy

Christmas is just around the corner, and for many it is a time of joy but for some, it can be a time of darkness and depression. You can have a better holiday by learning how to Illuminate your Christmas with faith and joy.

The Christmas season is my favorite time of the year. Growing up in the late fifties and sixties, my parents did their best to make it unique. It was a time of big family gatherings, food, gifts, and stories. It was a time to be around grandparents’ aunts, uncles, and cousins. In our home, Mom and Dad always ensured we understood the real reason for the season.

It was also a time for annual treats—those special goodies that only made guest appearances during the holidays. One of my favorites was my mom’s Martha Washington Candy. No matter where I was, she would make it special by mailing it to me.

(If you feel creative and brave, check out her recipe card, and you can enjoy her candy too. Recipe note: when she uses the term oleo, substitute room temperature butter.)

Understanding the Challenges of Christmas

For many of us, the holidays can be a time of joy, warm memories, and celebration. However, the holidays sometimes bring a dark side to them.

It might be your first Christmas after losing a family member or close friend. You could be facing your first holiday after a divorce. Or you might be away from home due to your job or being deployed.

Even as I write this, I’m thinking about a pastor friend of mine who lost his son to suicide a few weeks ago.

Maybe you can think about a dark holiday time in your own life or within your family or circle of friends. In my life journey, I lost my mom in December 2016, and my dad followed her home just a few weeks later, in January 2017.

So, while the Christmas Season is a time for joy and hope, I know the holidays can be a time of darkness for many.

Suppose you struggle with old trauma or depression. In that case, the holiday season may have its unique combination of darkness and struggles. Let me encourage you and remind you that this will pass. If you find yourself in a dark place this Christmas, Jesus understands and wants to be a ray of life and help you out of the dark space.

As a Christian, I believe Jesus is the “Light of the World!” He made that very claim in the New Testament Gospel of John 8:12. That’s why I think that even though you and I might struggle with dark days and thoughts, Jesus wants to bring his comforting light into our darkness. With that in mind, here are nine proven, faith-friendly things you can do to avoid the potential darkness of the holidays.

Rediscover the Joy and Meaning of Christmas

Regardless of how your year went, you can rediscover Christmas by embracing joy! How? By returning to the source of joy and meaning: Jesus.

I love the words of J.I. Packer in his book Knowing God he says:

“The true Christmas spirit is that of Jesus voluntarily restraining his power, accepting hardship, malice, misunderstanding, and death; loving to the uttermost unlovely human beings; and becoming poor so that we could be rich. All of this means hope for a ruined humanity—hope for pardon, hope of peace with God, hope because at the Father’s will Jesus Christ became poor and was born in a stable so that thirty years later, he might hang on a cross. It is the most beautiful message that the world has ever heard or will ever hear.”

Cultivate an Attitude of Gratitude—Even in Grief

In the States, we officially celebrate a day of Thanksgiving in November, when we pause and reflect on what we are thankful for. While for many, this marks the official start of the Holiday shopping madness, for people of faith, it is the precursor of Advent.

Advent (from Latin adventus, meaning “coming”) in the Christian church calendar, is the period of preparation for the celebrations of the birth of Jesus Christ at Christmas and the future second coming of Christ. In Western churches, Advent begins on the Sunday nearest to November 30th.

Five ways to increase your capacity for joy:

1. Jot down your joys and blessings
2. Count blessings instead of sheep
3. Stop and Savor (Practical Mindfulness)
4. Smile
5. Give

As a special note, if you are grieving: Jesus understands your loss and will be with you through the tough days. One of the things you can do in your grief is to pause and be grateful for what your loved one brought to your life.

Practice Mindfulness

Have you ever heard of “mindfulness”? It has been a hot topic for several years because is a vital component of personal resilience. Mindfulness is simply being fully alive in the present moment. It means you are not feeling sadness and grief over your past or overwhelmed with worry and anxiety about the future. It means you are enjoying the presence of God in your life at this very moment.

Mindfulness is an inexpensive way to manage stress, increase self-esteem, and enhance awareness of God’s work. Mindfulness is a joy multiplier.

Connect or Reconnect with Loved Ones and Be the Instigator of Kindness

The Christmas season opens the door to reunion and reconciliation. It offers an opportunity to be an instigator of kindness and extend goodwill, grace, and patience towards family, friends, and strangers.

Depending on the family dynamics, your get-together could have the look and feel of a Hallmark Channel Movie or the Griswold family in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. Either way, there are some practical things you can do to make a holiday with great memories.

First, look for the good in friends, neighbors, and relatives. It is easy to focus on annoying behaviors. This year, try to find something good in those who annoy you.

And second, stay loose. Be flexible. Twenty-First Century families are constantly changing due to job situations, childbirth, illness, job demands, divorce, and the return of work for former stay-at-home moms. Tradition does not have to mean rigidity.

Mom and Dad—let your married kids develop holiday traditions of their own with no guilt trips.

For parents sharing custody and stepfamilies—gather on neutral ground, meet at a place that belongs to no one, include everyone you can, and avoid posturing and fighting. Put your kids’ needs first after a divorce. Do not make your kids feel responsible for making your holiday memorable. Help them find ways to enjoy time with each parent and let them know you will be okay.

Celebrate Old Traditions and Begin New Ones

Think about the movie Christmas Vacation for a minute (but don’t let it trigger you). In the film, Clark Griswold is in overdrive as he tries to manufacture a memorable Christmas—and you see how well that worked out!

Some family traditions are more accessible than others. In contrast, some traditions are built on layers of family history.

At the juncture of the Christmas season and family celebrations lies a potential treasure of tradition. Old handwritten recipes carefully written by a long-gone grandmother are resurrected as you prepare her memorable dish. The holidays are a season of fondly recalling prior Christmas memories while building new ones to cherish. Nothing remains static or stays the same. Life moves forward like a living mural, transporting memories and traditions and creating something new. Traditions are fluid—they only seem static from a distance.

While having treasured traditions is not bad, sometimes life has other plans. There are life events and things we have no control over that can alter those traditions. These events include adding new family members through birth or marriage and missing loved ones due to divorce, death, or moving away. So, the key is to stay flexible and, rather than lamenting the loss of an old and treasured tradition, feel free to embrace new ones.

Prioritize Self-Care

During the holidays, it is easy to get caught up in the business and chaos of the annual holiday season. Our already demanding lives become crazier as we ramp up activities like shopping, attending gatherings, cooking, and planning. For many, it can be overwhelming.

Do you know that one of the easiest things you can do to slow down and keep your wits about yourself is to practice self-care?

Even Jesus discusses self-care. Look at Matthew 22:36-40 (NLT).

“Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?” Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’

This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”

Give Back

One of the significant events of Christmas is the tradition of giving and receiving gifts. Ultimately, this tradition is rooted in God’s ultimate gift—giving us Jesus, who made a way for us to gain peace and acceptance with God through his birth, life, death, burial, and resurrection!

With that ultimate gift in mind, here are seven meaningful ways to give back during the holidays.

1. Cook a meal and invite neighbors to enjoy it (or take it to them).
2. Bake cookies or other Christmas treats and share them with your neighbors.
3. Volunteer! Volunteer agencies report a 53% increase in volunteer help during the holidays.
4. If you are into animals, donate to your favorite shelter.
5. Put some extra cash in the Salvation Army’s Red Kettle.
6. If your house of worship has a unique holiday offering, donate to it.
7. Attend a Church Service

Going to church on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day is a good thing, not out of some weird or begrudging sense of duty, but rather with joy for the special blessing God wants to share with you as you celebrate the birth of our Lord Jesus.

For many, singing carols, watching children perform the ancient story of Christ’s Birthday, and hearing a message specially prepared for Christmas can stir up wonderful, warm memories and a deep sense of gratitude for the meaning of the holiday.

Engage in Things that Bring you Joy and Meaning

Please pause for just a second at this point and allow me to ask you a few questions. What brings you a sense of joy and mitigates holiday stress? What thoughts or things put a smile on your face? What do you need to have a fantastic holiday season?

Returning to the importance of mindfulness and self-care, what nourishes you, reduces your stress, and brings out your best? When you and I choose to embrace the light of the holiday, we begin to feel joyful and rested. In addition, we can allow the Lord to help push back any darkness that might show up during the holidays.

Here are some practical things you can do to re-engage joy and meaning in your life:

• Singing or listening to Christmas music.
• Enjoying your favorite holiday beverages. (For me, a cup of New Mexico Pinion Coffee’s Adobe Morning or a good cup of hot chocolate are winners.)
• If you have snow, make a snow angel. (If you’re worried about getting back up, don’t be, others will gladly help.)
• Sharing some spare change with a bell ringer.
• Journaling.
• Working on your hobby.
• Learning and sharing some new jokes or humorous stories.
• Reconnecting with family members and friends.

Conclusion: Embracing the Light and Avoiding the Darkness

I hope you have found this information helpful, particularly if you face a challenging holiday season. Remember you have a choice on how you can illuminate your Christmas with faith and joy.

If you are feeling alone, isolated, or even desperate, don’t stew in the loneliness of your pain. Reach out. Phone a friend, attend a church service, or do something for someone else. But if you are in trouble, please call the National Help Line at 811.

I pray some of the choices and perspectives I’ve shared above will help you move towards the light. Most of all, I pray that you have a holiday filled with hope and joy and that your faith will be renewed.

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John Thurman is an author, Therapist, Work-Life Consultant, and Speaker who helps individuals and couples become more resilient in their personal lives, their relationships and in their faith. He and his wife Angie have been married more than 50 years and live in Albuquerque. Email is john@johnthurman.info. Direct office number is 505-343-2011.

© 2023 John Thurman