Why Your Intimacy May be Fading as a Wife — and 3 Easy Ways to Rekindle Desire

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If you’ve ever wondered why the spark in your marriage keeps fading no matter how much you love your husband—this installment will show you three simple, faith-based ways to rekindle desire and bring intimacy back into your marriage.

I remember a time in my marriage when intimacy felt more like another thing to check off my list than a natural overflow of love. Life was full—I was busy trying to turn our house back into a home. My husband and I were both grieving the loss of our moms while sorting through all the things we’d brought from their homes, deciding what to keep and what to let go of. Our house was also very quiet with our youngest daughter off to college. In the middle of it all, our closeness quietly started to fade—and I didn’t even notice it at first.

We weren’t fighting. We weren’t cold. We were just… fine.

But fine isn’t where God calls a marriage to stay.

One night, I found myself thinking back to the early days of our marriage—the laughter, the flirting, the lightness. And I asked myself, where did that go? I felt convicted that I had been giving my best energy to everything but my marriage. So, I prayed, “Lord, show me how to desire again—not just emotionally, but to reignite the kind of intimacy that honors You and reconnects us heart to heart!

And just like He always does, God began to show me that intimacy isn’t something that just happens. It’s something we cultivate—through mindset, through intention, and through love that flows from Him.

Here are three easy ways to rekindle desire and bring back lasting intimacy in your marriage:

Rekindle Emotional Connection Before Physical Connection

To rekindle desire, you have to start with emotional connection—not physical expectation. Because desire begins in the heart, when emotional connection fades, physical desire naturally follows. God created us to crave closeness, safety, and understanding before passion can thrive.

Take 10 intentional minutes each day to see your husband again. Ask about his dreams, listen without fixing, make him feel valued. When a woman feels emotionally seen, her heart softens—and when a husband feels emotionally safe and respected his heart responds in return.

Communicate What You Need Without Shame

To rebuild intimacy, you have to communicate your needs clearly—without guilt or blame.  God designed communication to be the bridge between hearts. When we hold back, resentment grows and desire dies. Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s the soil where intimacy grows. And fear in this area, even though we don’t want to admit it, is the reason you are feeling the distance that you’re feeling.

Start small. I’m going to suggest something here that will probably shock you. Do you ever initiate wanting to have sex? If not, why not? I believe as Christians, so much of our upbringing, sex wasn’t talked about, and if it was, it was something we weren’t supposed to do. Am I right? A lot of shame and misguided ideas form. So then when we get married, we’re supposed to click a switch. Many women struggle with this. One thing I want you to consider is something very simple. The question, do you want to do it? God has given sex in marriage as a beautiful gift for both of you. Men need this physical intimacy and so do you. This is all I will say on this topic for now. Another couple of thoughts: invite connection through kindness, not criticism. Use curiosity instead of control. When communication becomes safe again, intimacy can breathe.

Invite God Into Your Intimacy

To rekindle lasting desire, you must let God be at the center—not culture, not comparison. When intimacy is rooted in God’s love, it becomes holy—not hurried. Sacred—not shameful. He wants your marriage to reflect His joy, His creativity, and His tenderness.

Pray for intimacy. Ask God to remove any walls of insecurity, busyness, or bitterness. Say: “Lord, help us see this connection as a gift from You.” When God is invited into your love life, everything changes—not just physically, but spiritually and emotionally too.

Recap

Rekindling desire isn’t about doing more—it’s about being more intentional with what matters most.

Rekindle emotional connection before physical connection.
Communicate and be open for new and different ways to express love physically. Being the initiator will bring your marriage to a level you never thought possible. Pray about this area!
Invite God into your intimacy.

Intimacy doesn’t have to fade with time. It can grow deeper, richer, and more fulfilling when you allow God to be the author of your love story again.

I want to encourage you. Your marriage is worth fighting for—and desire is worth rebuilding. God designed intimacy as a gift, and when you surrender it back to Him, He can breathe new life into even the quietest parts of your connection.