If the spark feels like it’s gone out in your marriage, or you’ve told yourself romance just isn’t a priority anymore—this installment will help you see why ignoring romance could actually be creating distance between you and your spouse. And, how to rekindle love and rebuild connection starting today”
I remember a time when romance in my marriage felt, well, like a memory. We were busy—managing the day-to-day. It wasn’t that we didn’t love each other; it just felt like life had crowded out the little moments of tenderness and fun that used to come naturally.
One morning when I was having my quiet time, I thought about how distant my husband and I had become. I missed us. I missed the laughter, the flirting, the spontaneous date nights. So, I prayed: “Lord, teach me how to bring joy and romance back into this marriage—even here, even now.”
I thought: “What is one little thing I could do to change things?” I sent him a text asking if he wanted another cup of coffee, and I’d bring it to him. He said yes, and as little of a gesture as that sounds it changed our morning routine. I bring him coffee every morning now and it’s romantic. I love our connection. We have a chance to ask what each of us has going for the day. I realized if we were going to do more together and get out of our old routine, I could use my imagination and I’d came up with a list of fun things we’d done in the past for easy date nights, a movie, (and not just staying home watching Netflix together), going for a drive together and having lunch in a nearby town, walking after dinner, country dancing. We now actually have time, we just need to become creative. Once I used my imagination and came up with some ideas, he in turn came up with ideas. We didn’t make it a big deal. He became a priority for me. We just put romance back into our life.
God showed me is this: Romance isn’t a luxury. It’s a lifeline to connection. It’s not about grand gestures or expensive dates—it’s about intentional love that reminds your spouse: “You still matter to me.”
5 Reasons You Should Stop Ignoring Romance
Reason 1: Romance Builds Connection
Romance creates emotional intimacy—it’s the heartbeat of closeness. When you intentionally connect, you remind each other that you’re teammates, not just housemates. Start by showing affection again—hold hands, give compliments, or leave a kind note. Simple things speak volumes.
Reason 2: Romance Rekindles Desire
Desire fades when we stop pursuing each other. When life gets busy, we forget that attraction grows through attention and appreciation. Be intentional—plan a date night, dress up a little, send a sweet text. Small sparks often ignite the biggest flames.
Reason 3: Romance Strengthens Communication
Romantic gestures open the door to deeper conversations. It’s easier to talk honestly when you feel emotionally safe and valued. Ask open-ended questions, share memories of when you first fell in love, and practice really listening without multitasking.
Reason 4: Romance Reflects God’s Design for Love
Marriage was meant to mirror God’s love—passionate, personal, and unconditional. When we express affection, we echo the joy and tenderness of God’s heart toward us. Invite God into your marriage—pray about it, express gratitude for one another, and let your love story be a reflection of His grace.
Reason 5: Romance Restores Joy
Joy fades when routine takes over.
When we neglect romance, we lose one of God’s sweetest gifts—delight in one another. Laugh together again. Be playful. Surprise your spouse with something thoughtful. Joy is a choice, and romance often opens the door to it.
Romance is not optional—it’s the oxygen of a thriving marriage.
To recap:
- Romance builds connection.
- Romance rekindles desire.
- Romance strengthens communication.
- Romance reflects God’s design for love.
- Romance restores joy.
Friend, your marriage isn’t meant to just survive—it’s meant to flourish. And romance? It’s one of the most powerful ways to invite God’s beauty and connection back into your relationship.
No matter how long you’ve been married or how far apart you’ve grown, you can rekindle love. Start small, stay consistent, and invite God to breathe life into the places that feel dry. Because when you stop ignoring romance, you make space for connection—and you open the door for God to write a new chapter in your marriage story.
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Monette Sedberry is the host of the weekly podcast Miracle Marriage Makeover, where she encourages Christian empty-nester wives to rebuild connection, spark fresh joy, and invite God back into the center of their marriage. A lifelong learner and storyteller, Monette shares practical wisdom, faith-filled mindset shifts, and honest reflections from her own journey—both on her podcast and here at The Best-Life Project. Her words flow with honesty and compassion, giving women hope that change is possible.
Monette lives in Albuquerque, NM with her husband Leland. They have three adult children and love adventuring, traveling, and savoring this new season of life together. Learn more at: http://linktr.ee/Miracle_Marriage