Stay In Your Own Lane (Especially at Thanksgiving!)

We’re rolling into Thanksgiving, and along with the turkey, stuffing, and pumpkin pie, most of us will also have a big helping of … family. Kids home from college, grown children and their spouses, grandbabies toddling around, siblings dropping in—for many of us, it’s a full-on family reunion. And let’s be real: the holidays bring endless opportunities for both laughter—and tears.

So how do we tip the balance toward laughter, connection, and happy memory-making?

One simple idea: Stay in your own lane.

Now, what do I mean by that?

As a mama (and a loving, deeply invested one!), I often feel like I know best. Best for my kids. Best for my home. Best for how things should go. The funny thing is, my family apparently thinks “they” know best for their own lives. Imagine that! And if I’m being completely honest, I don’t actually love receiving unsolicited opinions either—even from people I care about.

So here’s my gentle, loving challenge for this holiday season:

Keep your opinions and advice in your lane unless someone merges over and asks for them.

This doesn’t mean silencing yourself or walking on eggshells. It simply means being intentional. Before you share that suggestion, correction, or “little bit of wisdom,” run it through two quick questions (plus a bonus one for extra clarity!):

Question 1: What gives me the right to offer this?

Just because you’re the parent, the aunt, the friend, or the one who’s “usually in charge,” does not automatically grant you the right to weigh in. At work, your team may welcome your feedback. At home? Not always. Loving someone doesn’t entitle us to steer their choices.

Question 2: Even if I *can* say it, should I?

Ask yourself: “Is voicing this opinion in the best interest of the relationship?”

So often we justify our comments with, “Well, it needed to be said.” But did it? Or did it just create distance? Think of the classic example: you share your not-so-rosy thoughts about your friend’s fiancé— and then they get married. Hello, awkward Thanksgiving dinners for the next 40 years.

Even true thoughts can damage a tender relationship if shared at the wrong time or in the wrong way.

Bonus Question: Will these comments help us connect?

If the answer is “no,” then silence may be a gift.

So what do you do instead of offering advice?

You get curious. You ask questions. You listen—really listen—with warmth and interest. You focus on understanding rather than correcting. You show love, care, and presence. That, more than any “you know what you should do…,” builds trust.

And here’s the delightful twist: when people feel seen, heard, and respected, they almost always come to the magical moment where they ask, “So… what do you think?”

That is your green light. That’s when your thoughts will actually be welcomed.

If you commit to staying in your own lane this Thanksgiving, I can almost guarantee you’ll experience more laughter, less stress, and deeper connection—the kind that makes the holidays truly meaningful.

Happy Thanksgiving, friend. May your lane be peaceful and full of joy.

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Christy Largent

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Christy Largent is a motivational speaker, painter, and joy enthusiast based in Texas. After decades as an interior designer and professional speaker, she’s now inspiring women everywhere to embrace their Empty Nest years as a fresh season of discovery. Through her art, writing, and storytelling, Christy encourages others to live with purpose, laughter, and faith—because joy truly is made visible.

Follow her at ChristyLargent.com or on Instagram @ChristyLargent for a daily dose of color, creativity, and encouragement.