The Class Reunion

I’m getting ready to head back to my hometown in NY to attend my 50th high school class reunion. How. Is. That. Even. Possible? I truly don’t feel like it’s been 50 years since the days of earth science, English literature, or world history. But the calendar says it’s true. And so do my arthritic bones, dry eyes, and sore muscles.

So, what’s a woman to do? I dug into the back of my guest room closet and found my Class of 1974 yearbook. Bad idea. I was immediately ambushed by immense emotions. I don’t even know why. All I know is those fresh, smiling faces, intently stared (dare I say mockingly), back at me. They forced me to consider that we are in the fourth quarter of life.

Where did all the years go in between then and now? This is life. My mind wasn’t prepared to scrutinize these deep truths. Hence, the BIG emotions.

So, I set the book aside and decided to write about reunions. That’s what I do when something goes deep into my soul.

Why ARE class reunions so intimidating? More BIG emotions.

I did a search (thanks, Google). And I found a list of class reunion do’s and don’ts. Who knew we even needed these?

Here is my summary from one author’s recommendations. He suggested the following:

• Have an “elevator pitch” ready for when someone asks you “what have you been up to?” Keep it short.
• Stay focused on the person talking so they feel welcomed and watch your facial expressions which can be communicating messages.
• Make the reunion an “opportunity magnet” for your business by reconnecting with old friends.
• Consider the proper way to stand. He explores how certain positions invite others into a conversation, while other stances keep them out.
• If you feel nervous or anxious about attending connect with a friend who can join you in going to the event together.

Wow! Except for joining a friend prior to attending, (and that’s because I won’t have a car) I hadn’t thought of this stuff. I just wanted to give a hug to those who have journeyed the same years as I have.

Here’s my list instead:

• Don’t worry about how you look. We all have grey hair now, wrinkles and/or gotten heavier. I know it’s hard, especially for women. But don’t live in shame.
• Don’t be intimidated by the “mean girls” or the people who didn’t like you in high school. If they haven’t worked on themselves over the years, they probably still act that way. Move on.
• Notice the one sitting alone or isolating. I’m a gregarious person, so being in crowds is easy for me, even if I don’t know anyone. But not everyone is outgoing. Pay attention to the person who looks out of place and make them feel welcome, even if you didn’t know them in high school.
• You won’t remember their names. Trust me. Unless you have one of those rare photographic memories, name badges are crucial.
• Get ready for someone you knew well, to look very different. At my age many classmates have experienced an illness or two, or ten, that radically change the appearance and body. They KNOW they look different. Just share how thrilled you are that they are attending.
• DON’T talk religion, politics or other social issues which are divisive.
• Be kind. It’s sad that I even need to say this, but people today have allowed the above topics to divide us. And after a few glasses of wine, we say stuff that can cause damage. 
• Guard your heart. It’s easy for a reunion to spark romantic emotions and unfulfilled dreams from our youth. This is particularly true when it comes to an old flame or the “one that got away”. Don’t let those trigger emotions, and actions, that lead to an affair if you are married. 
• Remember the ones who have died. This is particularly true if their spouse is in attendance. When I read the list of classmates who are no longer alive—it’s shocking.

I like my list better. I’m too old to be dealing with the superficial stuff. I don’t care how I’m standing, and if someone wants to know what I’m doing with my life now I’ll honestly share.

If they don’t like me, that’s OK. I’ve worked very hard to overcome my childhood pain, insecurities, and fears. I no longer need to prove that I have significance, because God says I do. And I believe Him. I hope you have too!

Now, where’s the Party!!

Copyright 2024, May not be duplicated without permission.

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Laura Petherbridge is an international author and speaker who serves couples and single adults with topics on relationships, stepfamilies, singles, divorce prevention, and divorce recovery. She is the author of When “I Do” Becomes “I Don’t”—Practical Steps for Healing During Separation and Divorce, The Smart Stepmom, co-authored with Ron Deal, and 101 Tips for The Smart Stepmom: Expert Advice From One Stepmom to Another. Her website is www.TheSmartStepmom.com