Recently, I have been on a personal development series. There is pushback from some to this topic of self-improvement—sometimes I wrestle with this too. Talking about self, but if you think about it, that’s how we are wired. We think about ourselves the minute we wake up and start making decisions until we put our head on our pillows at night. So, we kid ourselves, if we don’t acknowledge this. Several years ago, when God put it on my heart to start my podcast, I wanted to bring us through this journey, the personal development journey with the Bible as our fact checker. As a Bible believing, committed Christian and personally loving the area of business/psychology/self-improvement I wanted to explore these areas through the lens of God as our creator and with the belief that he has purpose for our lives. God has a plan for our lives! He has given us unique gifts and talents and there is no one exactly like us. He has a purpose for our unique ability!
Have you ever taken the time to think through what you’re really good at; what you love to do, what comes naturally to you, and you can’t not do this thing because it doesn’t take a lot of willpower, you actually enjoy doing it? When you have the opportunity to do this thing, you say yes! I feel so many of us have spent too much time believing the lie that we should focus our time on trying to improve our weaknesses. And if we buy into this lie and we ignore our strengths, our strengths actually get weaker! Then we find ourselves going through the motions of life! We find ourselves with this longing thought of: “someday if, someday.” This is a fantasy that causes our lives to pass us by. If you find yourself in this place, please read on as I hope to change your thinking!
I say this because I was exactly where you are, thinking the way you are thinking, until God showed me it didn’t have to be this way! This is my hope for you, that you are reading here because you need to hear this! You need to remember you are beautifully and wonderfully made. That God has unique plans for you. There is no one like you. You have something to contribute with your unique gifts and talents. All the ugly self-talk you have going through your head are lies from the enemy. Those dreams and desires in your heart need oxygen. Taking the time to figure out what you’re good at, what’s your unique-ability is going to open up so many new possibilities! Again, I hope you’re showing up today with curiosity. Giving yourself permission to explore some new thoughts, some new ideas!
The reason I think most people are resistant to do an exercise where we spend the time figuring out our unique-ability is that it would require us getting honest with ourselves. We would have to slow down and get off the hamster wheel of running from one thing to another, especially if we are prone to people pleasing. We would have to take a really hard look at the things we are doing, the things that someone else could be doing because we’re actually not that good at it, but we keep doing it because we believe we don’t have a choice, and we keep thinking we should improve our weaknesses. When I finally figured this out for myself, it gave me so much freedom. It freed me up to pursue the things that utilize my unique gifts and talents! The biggest reward is that I fell back in love with my life. I fell back in love with new possibilities. It put excitement back in my life because when I’m in my unique-ablilty time goes by quickly. Sometimes, I get in the zone, and I lose track of time. I feel this sense of satisfaction that I’m listening to my heart. I’m contributing from a place that is real for me; that is authentic and genuine. I don’t have to fake that I’m happy. I’m genuinely happy. I’m getting to pull from skills I’ve developed through my lifetime and to use them in a new different and unique way and make an impact!
I want you to have this same experience. It will look different for you because your God-given gifts and talents are different than mine. But when you operate from this place it’s your sweet spot! Now I’m going to give a disclaimer here, will you do this thing perfectly? No! Especially if you’ve never done the thing before. It will be messy. It can be scary at times, you can doubt yourself, but something deep inside you won’t let you quit because it is your calling. When you find the thing or things to pursue with your unique gifts and talents, you’ll know in your soul you are in the right place. You have tapped into those dreams, those ideas, your imagination and when it aligns with your unique gifts and talents it is an incredible gift you give yourself! I want you to pray about this idea and the steps I’m going to share with you. I believe God calls us to serve other people with our gifts and talents. I think we can get sidetracked, doing things that we were not meant to spend our time doing. God has shown me that he wants me operating from the unique gifts and talents that he has given me! I believe he wants the same for you!
Here are four steps for you to discover your unique-ability!
Step 1: Self-Reflection and Awareness
- Take time for introspection and self-examination. Ask yourself questions like: What activities energize me? What tasks do I find effortless? What compliments do I often receive from others?
- Make a list of your strengths, talents, interests, and passions. Identify the things that come naturally to you and bring you joy.
- Reflect on your past experiences, successes, and achievements. What skills or qualities contributed to those successes?
Step 2: Seek Feedback and Perspective (People who know us sometimes see things in us that we don’t see ourselves)
- Ask trusted friends, family members, the people you work with or mentors for their honest feedback about your strengths and potential areas of uniqueness.
- Consider taking personality assessments or aptitude tests to gain insights into your natural inclinations and abilities.
- Observe yourself in different situations and note when you feel most engaged, motivated, and in “flow.”
Step 3: Experiment and Explore (Taking action is important, otherwise it’s just a good idea)
- Try out different activities, projects, or roles that align with your identified strengths and interests.
- Step out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself to learn new skills or pursue new experiences.
- Volunteer, take a class, or find a side project that allows you to explore your potential unique-abilities.
- I want to encourage you to do step 3 with the mindset of “If that doesn’t work, I’ll try something else”
Step 4: Refine and Commit
- Evaluate the activities or roles that resonated most with your unique-abilities and brought you the greatest sense of fulfillment.
- Identify ways to further develop and refine your unique talents and skills.
- Commit to pursuing opportunities that allow you to leverage your “unique-ability” and make a meaningful contribution.
- Embrace your unique abilities with confidence and share them, figuring out how to contribute with these gifts and talents will change your life!
I am going to share a quick short story of how this idea has changed my life. This is where I was trying to improve on a weakness! I have been married for 33 years. I married a man that is an amazing chef. I am not a good cook at all. I learned how to cook when I was a young girl, never liked it, and therefore for me I did it out of duty and obligation. My kids got the basics, nothing that special. But this cooking thing is something I have really struggled with. It’s something that has weighed heavily on me. Trying to improve this weakness. I was lying to myself, I would tell myself things like if I just tried new recipes etc., I’ll find joy in cooking. It never happened, the harder I tried the more frustrated I got. One day I got brutally honest with my husband! Our kids are through college and in their careers and don’t live at home anymore. It’s just my husband and me. I told him how I felt about cooking. How it brought me no joy and how miserable I was with the task of figuring out what to cook and going to the store to buy the food, how much I hated all of it. Again, remember I told you my husband is a master chef. Whatever he cooks up is better than any restaurant. He has this creative ability to make food taste really good. He is super creative; it’s one of his gifts and talents. It’s his unique-ability! My friends can all attest to this! My kids know this. I told him: “I’m willing to clean up any mess in the kitchen, if you’ll take over the cooking, I’ll be in charge of taking out the trash every week.” It didn’t happen overnight, but my husband does the cooking. I’m telling you this because it’s a real-life example. I am so grateful; I have this burden lifted off of me. It’s made me love my husband ever more. It’s made our marriage better.
This process of figuring out my own unique-ability is why I started my podcast 4 years ago. I love hearing from so many people that have let me know how an installment has been life changing for them. I absolutely love podcasting. It fills my soul. I feel I am using the gifts and talents that God gave me in and I’m in my unique-ablilty. This idea of figuring out your unique-ability and pursuing your life from this place, is life changing and I’m living proof.
My challenge for you is to pray about this. Work through this four-step process, figure out your gifts and talents and work and create from this place in your unique-ability. Remember, discovering your unique ability is an ongoing journey of self-discovery, exploration, and growth. I encourage you to embrace the process with an open mind and a willingness to learn and evolve. On a side note, I always like to give credit where credit is due. This idea of unique-ability is an idea I learned from a strategic business coach Dan Sullivan who does a podcast with Joe Polish. It is an idea that has changed the way I pursue my own life, and I believe it can change yours too!
Monette hosts a weekly podcast: Mornings with Monette. She has been a lifelong learner and and appreciates the opportunity to share what she has learned–both through her podcast and here at The Best-Life Project (based on the content of her weekly podcast). Her messages are raw, honest and straight from the heart. She lives in Albuquerque, NM with her husband Leland. They have three adult children and are enjoying living their best lives filled with travel and adventure.