The goal with your grown kids is to become peers with them but it doesn’t happen just because we all get older. For most of their lives you have been an authority figure in their lives. If you want them to become peers, it is up to you to invite them up to the level of adults. The movement happens when you realize your grown child is better at something than you. At that point you can ask for their advice. When you do, you endorse your son or daughter with a powerful proclamation that they have joined the company of adults who share their expertise with each other.