We have been doing a series on Mindset shifts from a Christian Perspective. I felt this topic: the Striving Mindset vs the Serving Mindset, would be great topic to delve into today.
I’ve been thinking how we live in such a hustle, striving to win-at-all-cost, attitude and environment these days. We are bombarded with get-rich-quick schemes and “you don’t like your spouse trade him in for a better model” mindset. It is a time when we measure our self-worth by how many likes we get on social media. The person with the biggest house and the nicest car is the most respected. If working 50 hours a week is the norm we should work more hours even if we neglect our families. Your kid plays sports or is musically talented you must exchange your time for getting them on the best team or hiring the best coaches, so they earn that college scholarship. So, we over strive in that area. Celebrities are treated like royalty because they can memorize lines for a movie and they have acting skill—so we put them on a pedestal and, in a sense, we worship them. It’s all about more is better. Being the best is the goal, no matter the cost! Bottom line: we are a society that is getting our significance from outside validation.
I have fallen into this trap at different times in my life. This world is very seductive. And I feel now more than ever, especially with the presence and influence of social media, this illusion of happiness is growing exponentially. How about you? Where are you right now in getting your worth and validation from the world? Are you caught up in this trap?
Don’t get me wrong, I believe that God calls us to work, and to work hard. The book of proverbs is filled with scripture that tells us we are to labor well. We are to work. Here are some scriptures that address this:
Proverbs 12:11
“Those who work their land will have abundant food, but those who chase fantasies have no sense.”
Proverbs 13:4
“A sluggard’s appetite is never filled, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied.”
Proverbs 14:23
“All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.”
Proverbs 21:5
“The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty.”
But the Bible also gives us scripture that tells us how to labor
Here are a couple Bible verses that remind us not to get our worth from our work, but from God:
Colossians 3:23-24 (NIV)
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”
This verse teaches that our ultimate value comes from serving God, not from human recognition or achievement.
Ephesians 2:10 (NIV)
“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
Our identity and worth come from being God’s creation, not from our performance.
As I mentioned, I have fallen in this trap many times: getting caught up in man’s definition of success. One example I can share is back during my college days when I was very successful working my way through college selling educational books door to door, finishing number 1 in the nation a few years in a row—having a top sales team in the company. That early success came with a ton of recognition. It was like a drug. The problem for me, on this treadmill of seeking outside validation, was that it was never enough. You do well; the expectation is, the next year, you will do better. This led to an unbalanced life for me. I was caught up in getting my self-worth and significance from that job. It became very destructive for me.
What’s it been for you? You may have experienced this in a different way. Maybe you were a star athlete back in the day and received a ton of validation. Or, maybe now you’re the star pickle ball player, or you’re an influencer with thousands of followers on social media, or maybe it’s getting our significance from our children’s accomplishments. Again, I have fallen into this trap many times in my lifetime. Wherever you have bought into this way of living, this trap leads to STRIVING; caring what other people think. living for validation. It will never be enough. And sometimes there is a price! This thing that we’re striving for becomes our idol. It can be very costly. It can cost us our health, our family, our friends, our character—you name it.
The price can be high. We see it all the time, with broken marriages, depression, over drinking, overeating. You may think I’m being dramatic, but we see it all the time. It’s the Striving Mindset vs. the Serving Mindset.
I looked up the definition of both a Striving Mindset and a Serving Mindset. Here they are:
Definition of a Striving Mindset
A striving mindset is characterized by relentless self-focus and a constant sense of inadequacy. Individuals with this mindset are driven by comparison, competition, and the fear of falling behind. The motivation stems from a desire to prove themselves, gain external validation, or outdo others, often at the expense of their own well-being and relationships. This mindset can lead to chronic stress, burnout, and dissatisfaction, as achievements rarely feel sufficient and there is little room for genuine connection or fulfillment.
Definition of a Serving Mindset
A serving mindset is defined by a genuine desire to contribute to the well-being and growth of others. Individuals with this mindset prioritize empathy, collaboration, and the creation of value for those around them. Their motivation comes from a sense of purpose, compassion, and the belief that success is best achieved through uplifting others. This mindset fosters meaningful relationships, satisfaction, and a positive impact on both individuals and communities.
In summary a negative Striving Mindset is self-centered, competitive, and never satisfied, while a Serving Mindset is others-focused, collaborative, and rooted in purpose.
So where are you with these mindsets?
3 Ways to check ourselves for a Striving Mindset
1. Monitor Our Motivation
• Ask: “Why am I doing this?”
Are we working hard because we feel called to serve, or because we’re trying to prove our worth to others? If our motivation rooted in fear of not measuring up, or a need for external validation, we may be in striving mode. One practical way to check: At the end of the day, reflect: “Did I feel anxious or peaceful about my efforts today?”
2. Notice Your Emotional State
• Ask: “How do I feel when I succeed or fail?”
If your mood rises and falls dramatically based on recognition, praise, or achievement, that’s a sign of striving. Serving, on the other hand, brings a steadier joy, regardless of external results. One practical way to check: When something goes wrong, do you feel crushed and worthless, or do you see it as a learning opportunity while still feeling secure in your value?
3. Evaluate Your Relationships
• Ask: “Am I competing or connecting?”
Striving often leads to comparison and competition, even with friends or family. Serving leads to collaboration, encouragement, and genuine celebration of others’ successes. Practical Check: Are you able to rejoice in others’ achievements, or do you feel threatened or envious?
How to Cultivate a Serving Mindset
1. Anchor Your Identity in Christ
• Remind yourself daily that your worth is not in what you do, but in Whose you are. Meditate on verses like Ephesians 2:10 and Colossians 3:23-24. Pray for God to help you see yourself and others through His eyes.
2. Practice Gratitude and Generosity
• Start each day by thanking God for the unique ways you can serve. Look for small opportunities to encourage others whether it’s a kind word, a listening ear, or practical help. Serving flows from gratitude and abundance, not scarcity or fear.
• Make it a habit to pray, “Lord, show me who needs encouragement or help today, and give me the heart to serve them from a place of love and connection. Lord, check my heart, am I consumed with me, my wants needs and desires over the people I love and care about?
Remember, striving is exhausting because it’s never enough. Serving, on the other hand, is energizing because it flows from God’s love and purpose for your life. When we serve, we experience the deep joy of living out our calling—not for applause, but for the glory of God and the good of others.
So today, let’s ask God to help us shift from striving to serving. Let’s choose purpose over performance, and peace and joy over anxiety. That’s where true significance—and lasting satisfaction—are found!
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Monette hosts a weekly podcast: Mornings with Monette. She has been a lifelong learner and and appreciates the opportunity to share what she has learned–both through her podcast and here at The Best-Life Project (based on the content of her weekly podcast). Her messages are raw, honest and straight from the heart. She lives in Albuquerque, NM with her husband Leland. They have three adult children and are enjoying living their best lives filled with travel and adventure. For more information, visit: http://morningswithmonette.com/.