After Christmas, “I Do Not Care” Club—of  Freedom

I want to make something very clear right up front: I am not a Grinch. I promise.

I love Christmas. I really do. The lights, the memories, the meaning—all of it. It’s all so rich and happy making.

But after more than 30 years of doing all the things, I have officially joined what I lovingly call the “I Do Not Care Club.” And let me tell you… membership is peaceful.

After two straight days of traffic, crowded stores, people demanding to be served and standing in a grocery aisle debating whether to make sugar cookies or chocolate chip cookies, I had a moment of clarity.

I’ve made enough cookies for a lifetime.

When “Good Enough” Becomes More Than Enough

This year, for the first time in my entire Christmas-celebrating life, I made some changes.

I decided:

• Store-bought cookies are just fine.
  My sons know I love them. They’ll probably eat Chick-fil-A cookies anyway.
• Homemade macaroni and cheese is optional.
  Bagged fried rice will do. They may not notice. And if they do… they’ll survive.
• Pajamas are my holiday wardrobe.
  There is no need for makeup or “getting ready” when the goal is rest. If someone comes over they get me with the pajamas. So be it.
• There is no big Christmas dinner this year.
  No company. No mountain of dishes. No extra calories hanging around uninvited on my butt.

And you know what? The world did not fall apart.

Letting Go of the Performance

One of the quiet pressures women carry—especially after 60—is the belief that we must keep performing the holidays the same way forever. You know doing all the things we used to do the same way we did them for the same people. Well guess what those people are not there. They have moved on. But YOU haven’t. You know how we do. We have it set up in our minds about….

The baking.
The decorating.
The hosting.
The proving that we still “have it.”

But here’s the truth no one says out loud often enough–

Being tired doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful.
Resting doesn’t mean you’re sad.
Simplifying doesn’t mean you love your family any less.

It simply means you’re human.

A House Full of Grace (Not Perfection)

Yes, my house is decorated—mostly. One tree is naked. Just lights no ribbon, no bulbs, no ornaments of holidays past. I was too tired to finish it and wham bam it was December 21 and it will be down on in a few days anyway. I do not care.

And that’s okay. From the outside, it still looks like Christmas. From the inside, it looks like peace.

A Word for the Woman Reading This

If you’re reading this after Christmas and feeling the need to explain yourself—please don’t. Stop right where you are and stop texting or calling in your explanation to anyone.

You don’t owe anyone–

• A perfect meal
• A spotless house
• A cheerful performance
• Or your exhaustion

You are allowed to rest. You are allowed to change traditions. You are allowed to choose ease. My kids, grown as they are understood. I didn’t do all the things and they are fine today. After Christmas. The world is still standing and the lights are still flickering.

I promise you—I am good. Not sad. Not depressed. I was just a tired woman who needed a three-day pause.

And that, my friend, is more than enough. What do you need to let go of? Let it go sister. Let it go! Put it in the do not care pile and keep it moving. You deserve a break, all those that love you will be fine. I promise.

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New to The Best-Life Project?

Please read these foundational posts:

Best Life Dream Story

Best-Life Definition

Read More from This Author:

Dr. Stephanie M. Carter

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Stephanie is the owner and host of her podcast called Reveal, a biblical Insight life coach, ordained minister and author. She has over 10 years of experience in biblical counseling to married couples and women. She holds certificates of teaching in Old Testament history, biblical counselling, advanced biblical counselling & marriage and family studies.

She lives in Atlanta, GA where she loves to cook for dinner parties, quilt, write books, read and write in journals. When not doing those things, she enjoys her two adult sons and her black mini schnauzer Kyrie.

Connect with her at: www.stephaniemcarter.com

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