Encouraging and equipping women over 60 to live their best life!
I believe God created marriage! I believe that within the structure and boundaries of marriage God transforms us to be who he designed us to be and transforms our spouse to be who God designed him to be. If this is true, which by faith I believe it is, listening to the world and getting instruction relying on the world’s ever evolving and changing views about marriage, can you see how destructive it is. It’s two different things! We are being deceived!
What I am doing in these first few posts on marriage is laying the foundation. I am trying to lay it out in simple terms. I believe these are the foundational truths of marriage. For me, as I’ve journeyed through marriage and hit rock bottom at times, coming back to the basics and God’s truths has always been the answer. Whether it’s pride, unforgiveness, a hardened heart, self-loathing, getting caught up in people pleasing, wanting to throw in the towel, you name it, I’ve probably experienced it. 30+years is a long time!
At its core, this is really what the Best-Life Project is about. Realizing what you want and being happy with it. When we know what we want our future to be, it helps us make decisions today that move us toward that end goal. Ten years from now, even two years from now, my vision for my future may change. I may be tired of dealing with workers and customers. I may want to travel more. But for today, I’m good.
In this series I hope to open your mind. I want you to gather all the facts. My goal is for you to see that marriage is so much more than the Fairytale, Prince Charming stories, or that the reason to get married is to have kids. Because, if that was you’re “why,” what happens to your marriage when the kids grow up and leave home.
I’m going to pray about my podcast and see if the Holy Spirit answers. Lord, what do you want me to do with my podcast?” I waited and I listened, and I swear I heard him say: “I want you to talk about marriage. I want you to help women that don’t want to get a divorce.” It was so real. I’m like what? I wrestled with the idea and thought and thought! I knew I wasn’t going back to sleep. So, I got up quietly, I didn’t want to wake up my husband, and I came downstairs to my desk. I just started writing. I wrote for over four hours. It was the most amazing time. I could feel God’s presence. I wrote down what I feel God put on my heart. It was such a beautiful time.
Fall brings on a little melancholy. I struggle with being as productive as I want to be. Instead of “falling hostage” to it, I have chosen to embrace it and work through it. I am also thankful for a little rule I learned to help me in those August, September, and October months to help me stay focused. It is called “The Five-Minute Rule.”
I think it’s easier to share misery than it is to share celebration. I’m not saying I don’t fall into this trap from time to time. But what I want to address here is re-training our brain. Taking the time to evaluate our default thoughts and, if we don’t like them, we can make a conscious effort to see them and redirect those thoughts and change them. We are creatures of habit. But I fully believe we can change.
I did nothing to deserve this striking floral showpiece that sticks out her neck to show off her beauty. What I did was to keep my birdfeeder filled with a mixture that contains black oil sunflower seeds. The birds do the rest. As they peck at the feeder, cracking open resistant seeds with impressive acuity, some fall to the ground. Unnoticed by birds, chipmunks and other interested creatures who call my garden home, they tentatively open to the hospitality of the soil, the warmth of the sun and the hydration of the rain. They courageously begin to put down roots, fragile tendrils initially. Their journey, stretching toward the sky, has begun.
Everything we do, even the most mundane task, we have a reason for why we do what we do. Most people never think this way, but with everything we choose to do, or not do, there is a payoff. There is a reason why we are doing this all day, every day. We may not even be consciously thinking about it, but this is the way our life works. Everything from the big decisions to the little mini choices, we have reasons why we do the things we do.
We must always hold onto hope. And we must never let go of the hope of healing—even healing from our sexual traumas. We can experience freedom from shame’s grip. We can experience freedom from the lies we have lived with for many years.
