Collecting Memories with a Girlfriend Getaway

“My girls’ trips have literally saved my life at times. When my sweet daughter had breast cancer and passed away at age 39, I could not have made it without my girlfriends, who are my chosen family members. They held me up and still do,” says 67-year-old Christy. Angela, 68, adds: “The stories and simple fellowship we all experience is the real blessing on these trips.” 83-year-old Carole takes a trip with two other friends every other year. She has found that: “You build memories that are impossible to build any other way.” Speaking of memories, Angela said: “It’s always so fun and so good for the soul. We share so many adventures and so much laughter on these trips!” 85-year-old Dixie, who has traveled with two different groups of friends, agrees: “Many great memories and some great pictures of both groups.”

Today, people say they want experiences, they choose to collect memories not things. One of the best ways to do this is with a girlfriend getaway!

I am blessed to have enjoyed many girl trips. Some have only been me and one friend; others have been with larger groups. I have been on two cruises with a group from the Lubbock Women’s Club. While the cruises included more than 20 people, on one trip, Melanie and I roomed together and did most of our excursions together—getting back with others at mealtimes. We have a trip to Marble Falls coming up in September that will have 10-12 of us. I had a fabulous week long trip with 5 other girlfriends last month to Turks and Caicos. All have created deeper bonds and fabulous memories.

Christy, Angela, Carole, and Dixie have traveled with the same group of friends for years while my experience has been with different friends and different numbers.

We have all learned some things along the way that help make girlfriend getaways successful. I did a quick search on “guidelines for girl trips” and found several articles focused on activities more suited to a younger crowd rather than our Best-Life demographic. AI offered some good suggestions culled from a variety of sources so, I am using the AI list as a starting place and have enhanced it using my experiences and those of my friends.

For a successful and enjoyable girls’ trip, focus on clear communication, respect individual preferences, and plan with flexibility. Consider the group’s dynamics, set a budget and timeline, and choose activities that appeal to everyone. Remember to prioritize safety and create lasting memories by being present and enjoying the experience together. 

Planning and Preparation

• Define the Trip’s Purpose:

This may seem self-evident, but it is important to determine in advance if, for example, there will be a lot of hiking involved as not everyone has the interest or physical strength for that type of experience. On a recent trip, Carole and her friends walked 4-5 miles every day. Christy and her friends often build a trip around a concert they want to go to. When my friends and I went to Salida, CO, the main purpose was to get out of the Texas heat. We booked a vacation rental that had balconies overlooking the Arkansas River. We also planned to shop in Salida’s quaint shops, eat dinner out and breakfast at home (we brought frozen breakfast casseroles and egg bites), and play games. We decided to go to a nearby resort where we got massages and enjoyed the pool for the day. We had three days to tour the area and one day each way for the drive.

• Choose the Right People:

Selecting compatible travel companions contributes to a cohesive group dynamic. Revis told me: “The group of girls to travel with is important. We all like to do the same things and we all get along. We all love one another.” Christy added: “We are old enough to make our choices. We get to decide who we spend our time with.”

Christy told me a disaster story that involved varied levels of alcohol consumption. One gal got drunk and went off leaving the friend who was supposed to be in her car. Ultimately, they did all reconnect and everyone was OK. But the relationship since has been strained.

While several of the gals told me that they travel with the same group, my trips have been with a different group nearly each time—though there has been some overlap. This is where an understanding of The Personalities is helpful. If you know the Personality make-up of the group, your expectations can be more realistic. For my Turks and Caicos trip, I knew before I went that there would likely be things I wanted to do the others didn’t. I had to be OK with doing things on my own or be OK with a relaxing week reading on the beach (which I love, see my Beach Reads post). It turns out, the trip was a mix of both—but my expectations were realistic.

Carole suggests thinking of who you want to make memories with.

• Agree on Finances and Budget:

For my girlfriend trips, we all live in the same area, so it is easy for us to get together and have a planning meeting or two. We look at restaurant options and their menus, so we know what to expect. We all agree on the vacation rental and travel expenses. We typically split the cost of the vacation rental evenly and pay the deposit at the time of booking. And, this is important, everyone agrees that if, for any reason, they cannot go and cannot find someone to take their place, they still pay their share!

On my first girlfriend getaway with my Lubbock friends, four of us planned to go to Fredericksburg, TX. One of the gals wanted to book a vacation rental house. I resisted. We had never traveled together and didn’t have established guidelines like we are addressing here. Gratefully, we booked two rooms in a hotel where we could easily cancel a room. Two of the girls had deaths in the family just days before the trip. We were able to cancel the room and just two of us made the trip. The two of us have been closer friends ever since.

For our upcoming Marble Falls trip, this is what I sent to the group regarding finances: “I propose a sliding scale per person (TBD) with those in the master suite with an ensuite paying slightly more and those who may be in bunk beds and a bathroom down the hall, paying less. Once a house is confirmed, all participants will need to pay a nonrefundable deposit. If you can’t make it, to be fair to everyone, you will still need to pay the full amount or find another to take your spot.”

To keep the accounting easy, Carole, who travels with the same smaller group of friends, uses one credit card for everything on the trip. When the bill comes, they split it three ways. No one worries that one night one person had chicken while another had steak.

When the six of us went to Turk and Caicos, Kathy found an app that split up our dinner checks when a restaurant wouldn’t do separate checks. We didn’t have to use it much, but when we did the Tab App was very helpful.

Most of our trips are by car. When we have multiple cars making the trek, each driver keeps the gas receipts. We total them up at the end and split it accordingly—leaving out the driver/car owner. As passengers, we often trade places in the cars. By totaling up all the gas and splitting it, we don’t have to keep track of who was in what car, when. We believe that since the driver/car owner is absorbing the car’s wear and tear, plus, she is driving, she shouldn’t have to contribute to the gas.

These are just suggestions. Use whichever ones fit your group or situation; the important thing is to discuss finances and agree before you commit.

• Delegate Responsibilities:

There are a lot of parts to putting a trip together, so share the planning tasks to avoid one person feeling overwhelmed. Usually, the person who initiates the trip idea gets started with finding the lodging. For the Turks and Caicos trip, Jacquelyn had been there many times, so she took the lead. At our planning meeting, she had a list of four resorts with pros and cons for each. She also had restaurant suggestions. None of the rest of us had any clue so we went with her advice.

For Carole’s group one of the gals travels a lot for work so she has the experience. She books lodging and flights and/or rental cars when needed.

At our planning meetings, we determine who is going to bring what. Depending on the trip, this could be the breakfast casseroles and coffee.

• Communicate Effectively:

We create a group text for each trip that allows us to interact easily with questions or comments about the trip’s specifics. The group text also allows us to communicate with each other if we get separated or need to reconnect on the trip. Groupme is another option.

Google docs can be helpful when sharing planning details.

• Create a Preliminary Itinerary:

Suggest a few options for destinations, accommodations, and activities, allowing for flexibility and spontaneity. As I mentioned, for Turks and Caicos, we discussed restaurants in advance. Once agreed upon, we made reservations before we left home. We didn’t plan out each day, but we had a framework agreed upon.

For my sister Lauren’s 70^th birthday, she invited me and several of my girlfriends to Southern California. She booked her favorite beach rental, right on the beach of the Pacific Ocean. She already had reservations at a favorite fusion restaurant for our arrival dinner. We had a lovely sunset stroll on the beach boardwalk. The next day included a Duffy boat ride with champagne and charcuterie (her husband Randy was our captain). On our last day, we went to her favorite plant nursery, Roger’s Gardens, which has a lovely restaurant inside. It was her opportunity to show us some of the fun and different things she does in Southern California. We still had lots of free time for walks, strolls, sitting on the beach, watching sunsets, and playing dominoes. We called the whole trip Lauren’s Favorites Tour.

One of Carole’s trips was to drive from the east coast to the west coast on highway 10. They flew to Florida and rented a car. Their plan was to never drive more than 5 hours in one day and to stop when they wanted to. When they got to Destin, FL, it was raining. So, they detoured and went to Laurel, MS—where the show Hometown is based. Which brings us to the next point.

During the Trip:

• Be Flexible:

Allow for unexpected changes and don’t be afraid to adjust plans as needed. Carole and her friends got back on track the next day. Embrace spontaneity and allow for some activities to happen organically, suggests Southern Living. 

Flexibility was needed during one of our girl trips to Boerne, TX. A remodeling client of mine in Lubbock had a house in Boerne. He was interested in turning the historic, old two-story house into a vacation rental. He asked me to look at it and see what it would need. As it was a 5 hour drive, this wasn’t something I could do in an afternoon. He agreed that my friends and I could go for a long weekend. Omigosh! When we got there, the house was freezing cold and was such a mess that the 5 of us went to Walmart, and in addition to cleaning supplies, we bought a heater and warm clothes. We then spent several hours cleaning the place before we could sleep in it! This was not what we expected, but it has turned into one of the funniest memories. It comes up almost every time we talk about girlfriend getaways and we laugh about it. Ultimately, we enjoyed the weekend. He eventually sold the house.

• Respect Individual Preferences:

For a smaller group like Carole’s, everyone will likely do the same things, but for a bigger group, like I mentioned with our Turks and Caicos trip, expect that some may not want to do everything together. Allow participants to have time for activities they enjoy so they don’t feel pressured to always do the group activity.

Based on past experiences, for the upcoming Marble Falls trip, this is what I included in the confirmation email: “It appears that we will have at least 3 cars traveling. We do not all need to arrive at the same time or depart at the same time. History with these trips tells us that some may want to get home before dark, while others may want to stay ‘on vacation’ as long as possible. Likewise, some may prefer to shop, while others may want to go wine tasting. Others still may prefer to stay at the house and enjoy the view. With a possible 12 people, we do not have to be together all the time.”

• Consider Bathroom/Modesty Issues:

I spent much of my adult life running seminars. One of the events we did was at the Christian Booksellers Association’s Annual Convention. Aspiring authors attended with their manuscript or proposal in hand hoping to meet with publishers who might want to buy their book. We lined up lodging with one of the major hotels—where the publishers were staying as that offered the best opportunity for chance meetings. These hotels were the ones closest to the convention center and were, therefore, the most expensive. These aspiring authors didn’t have the budget for the expensive hotel. So, for those who requested it, we helped them find roommates (often women they didn’t know). Due to cost, there were usually 4 to a room in 2 beds. One time we got complaints that one person locked herself in the bathroom for an hour to get ready. Meanwhile the others couldn’t use the bathroom. She made everyone else late for the meeting. Ultimately, we had to insert a paragraph into the confirmation letter advising everyone to be considerate of others and share the bathroom—if one person was in the shower, one could be using the sink and another the toilet. We encouraged them to do their make-up and hair in the room, rather than the bathroom.

It is for this reason that we try to book a vacation rental with plenty of bathrooms. But they are usually still 2-4 per bathroom. Sharing and consideration needs to be addressed. Obviously, speaking of consideration, if a person requests a few minutes alone on the toilet, we accommodate that.

Different people are comfortable with varying degrees of modesty. Having spent years at women’s conferences with communal camp-style bathrooms, I am totally OK with using the toilet while others are present. But not everyone is.

Additionally, some of us sleep in the buff. Not everyone is comfortable with that. Options should be discussed during a planning meeting and taken into account when assigning roommates and sharing a bed. If I know this is a concern, I can sleep in a sports bra and shorts.

A few other things to consider when determining roommates include who rises early or late, who calls it a day before others, and who wants to make the coffee in the morning. If you are organizing a girls getaway, you might just want to share this collection of ideas with everyone who might participate and let the article bring up some to the potentially awkward issues.

• Enjoy the Moment:

This is really what it is all about! Savor the time together, appreciate the experience, and create lasting memories. As Angela was looking for photo to share here, she was reminded of so many great times with the girlfriends. Along with photos, she sent me this comment: “One thing I thought of while finding photos was not only how many memories these trips produce but how many different events and adventures we’ve all had. Everything from weddings to funerals, outdoor sports to indoor concerts, girl trips can range across the spectrum. I have friends that meet for marathons!” 

As Revis told me: “Girl trips are an important part of my life. I love to travel and fortunately I have girlfriends that do too! I am gradually checking off my bucket list.”

Hopefully, these stories and guidelines will encourage you to take a girl’s getaway and to make it a successful memory making experience! So, gather your girlfriends and getaway!

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Marita Littauer Tedder has spent the majority of her adult life working with women—helping them improve relationships, achieve their speaking and writing dreams, and being the best version of themselves they can possibly be. The author of 20 books, this Living Our Best Life Project is her newest effort—through which she hopes to challenge women to be fulfilled where they are.