One day, several years ago, I posted this photo of my freshly pedicured foot in the fountain at a spa. It highlighted the relaxation I enjoyed at that moment and gave the impression I didn’t have a care in the world. I enjoy photography and am always looking for a creative photo that captures the beauty of a moment. My social media feeds are filled with beautiful sunsets, imaginative food and drink, and memorable family times.
“I wish I had Your Life”
A friend at the Women’s Club said: “After seeing your posts, I wish I had your life.” I responded saying, “What that photo doesn’t show is the struggle to get here. I’ve had 50 years of chronic back pain and scoliosis managed with massage, exercise, Pilates, and regular chiropractic care.”
What my posts do reflect is actually “the highlight reel,” while reality is often quite different from the photos and posts we share. Much like the Christmas cards we’ve all just received—the best of their year filled with smiling faces, vacation adventures, and milestone gatherings, our friends share their own highlight reel.
Have You had a Tough Year?
For those who have had a tough year, seeing all the glowing pictures can make them feel like they are the only ones not living the good life. We often tend to compare our lives with the highlight reel of others and think we are failures. When, in reality, our years have had peaks and valleys as well. The perfect pictures don’t show marriages on the precipice of divorce, estranged relationships, custody battles, mortgages that can’t be met, or business downturns, just to name a few.
While Christmas cards look like the perfect family, you might think to yourself, what I’d really like to say is: “This has a been a terrible year. The crops have failed, the loan is due, my daughter is struggling with a disability, my son has left, and the dog died.” Many of us have had similar experiences at one time or another, yet what we show on the outside is often very different from our reality.
Choose to Focus on the Positive
I often quip: “While I keep a neat and tidy house, don’t look in the cupboards!” When you arrive at my front door, it looks like I have everything pulled together, when, in reality, I have boxes of clutter, mounds of correspondence to address, and unfinished projects waiting for my attention. However, focusing on the negatives can be depressing. Hence, we need to spotlight the good that has happened, the things in life that make us smile, and remind ourselves that life is worth living—grateful for blessings rather than being bogged down by burdens. These highlight reels represent choices to focus on the positive and are usually not an attempt to create a false persona.
Speaking of being grateful for blessings, my sister Marita purposes to create a literal highlight reel. At the start of each new year, she enjoys going through the photos of the past 12 months. She chooses all those that make her smile and assembles them into one digital file. That annual retrospective is then uploaded to her digital photo frame that she keeps in the kitchen. Those happy reminders scroll throughout each day and make her smile.
Work Hard and Make Wise Choices
Yes, she does have a good life at this point—as do I. But we’ve done the work, we’ve put in the time, and we’ve made the effort to reach this point. Marita often has younger people say they want to be her when they are her age. She offers this advice: “Work hard, make wise choices and you too can live your best life.”
When you look at others’ social media posts or Christmas cards, realize that they are merely their highlight reel—they are counting their blessings. Their day-to-day reality may be very different. Even if you are currently in a tough place, look for the good things. Create your own highlight reel that makes you smile.
New to The Best-Life Project?
Please read these foundational posts:
Read More from This Author:
Lauren Littauer Briggs’ book, The Art of Helping, touches a felt need we all experience — wanting to help a hurting person, but not always knowing what to say or do. Both practical and inspirational, this book combines sound tips and suggestions, reference charts summarizing what to say and do in comforting situations, plus poignant personal stories to create a complete guidebook for anyone seeking guidance on how to effectively help a hurting friend or loved one in a time of crisis.
Lauren,
Thank you! I too choose to use social media for GOOD. I love posts that make me smile at the mundane, teach me or inform me of something I did not know, and depict the authenticity of life. While I am deeply grateful for blessings, life can be and IS hard… for all of us. KEEP these beautiful blogs coming and I look forward to Marita’s “sisters week” recap! When I grow up, 😉😉😉I want to be both of you!