When Regret Knocks After 60: What to Do When You Can’t Go Back

“If only I had…” — sound familiar?

There comes a quiet moment for many women as we get older. It might happen while folding laundry, sitting in traffic, or staring at the ceiling at 2 a.m.

It sounds like this:

• If only I had stayed.
• If only I had left sooner.
• If only I had believed in myself.
• If only I had known, then what I know now.
• If only…..

Regret has a way of sneaking in when life slows down just enough for us to reflect. And for women over 60, reflection often comes with clarity—and sometimes, a sting.

But here’s the hard truth and the good news wrapped together. You cannot go back. But you are not finished.

And God has a lot to say about that.

Why Regret Feels Louder as We Age

Regret isn’t always about mistakes. Often, it’s about missed moments, unspoken words, or paths not taken.

As younger women, we’re busy surviving—raising kids, paying bills, getting an education, holding everything together with prayer and coffee. Later, when the noise fades, the soul starts talking.

And that’s not a bad thing. Reflection is not condemnation. Conviction is not shame. Memory is not punishment. Sometimes that regret is simply an invitation to healing.

What the Lord Says About Your Past

God is not surprised by your story. He is not shaken by the detours, not the delays, not the decisions you wish you could rewrite.

The Bible reminds us:

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!” – Isaiah 43:18–19

Notice God doesn’t say, “Pretend it didn’t happen.” He says, “Don’t live there.”

Your past may explain you, but it does not define you.

Here is a truth that many women need to hear after 60.

“The Lord will restore the years the locust has eaten.” – Joel 2:25

That verse isn’t just poetic, it’s personal. God specializes in redemption that runs ahead of the calendar we live by.

When Regret Turns into a Teacher

Regret is bad but it can be a great teacher. I bet you never thought any good come from regret. But regret becomes dangerous when it turns into:

• Self-punishment
• Comparison
• Paralysis

But regret becomes useful when it turns into wisdom.

I want you to ask yourself a question. Ask this of yourself gently and softly if you are living in regret.

• What did this season of regret teach me?
• What would I do differently now?
• How can this experience help someone else?

Your life didn’t waste anything. The painful parts of your life have purpose. If you could go back knowing what you know now, we would probably still mess something up. Growth only happens forward and not living in the past.

You’re Not Late — You’re Right on Time

One of the biggest lies women over 60 believe is this “It’s too late for me now.”

Try telling that to:

• Moses (called in his 80s)
• Sarah (who laughed at God’s timing)
• Anna the prophetess (ministered in her later years)

God is not bound by timelines, age brackets, or cultural expectations. He’s bound by His purpose. God is for you and for everything in your life. He loves you and frankly God doesn’t look at age to determine His purpose and plans for our lives.

You are not living your leftovers years. God knows the plans He has for you until the last breath. You are living your legacy years and legacy is everything.

Practical Ways to Navigate Regret Without Getting Stuck

Here’s how to walk through regret without letting it camp out in your heart.

1. Name it — don’t numb it

God can’t heal what we won’t acknowledge.

2. Release what you can’t redo

Forgive yourself. You were doing the best you could with what you knew then.

3. Ask God what’s next

Not why, but what now, Lord?

4. Use humor as holy medicine

If you can laugh at some of it now, healing has already begun.

5. Turn reflection into action

Write. Mentor. Serve. Speak. Live fully—now. Don’t wait another day. God’s got you.

He has your future. Think of all the things He has already done for you. Reflect back on His goodness and faithfulness in your life.

A Gentle Truth to Carry with You

You don’t need a time machine. You need trust. God wastes nothing—not even regret.
Especially not yours. So, the next time those “if only” thoughts knock on the door, you can answer with confidence and say–“I can’t go back—but I’m not done.”

So, get up girl! Keep walking forward—with grace, wisdom, and maybe a little laughter along the way. Gods got you.

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New to The Best-Life Project?

Please read these foundational posts:

Best Life Dream Story

Best-Life Definition

Read More from This Author:

Dr. Stephanie M. Carter

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Stephanie is the owner and host of her podcast called Reveal, a biblical Insight life coach, ordained minister and author. She has over 10 years of experience in biblical counseling to married couples and women. She holds certificates of teaching in Old Testament history, biblical counselling, advanced biblical counselling & marriage and family studies.

She lives in Atlanta, GA where she loves to cook for dinner parties, quilt, write books, read and write in journals. When not doing those things, she enjoys her two adult sons and her black mini schnauzer Kyrie.

Connect with her at: www.stephaniemcarter.com

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