Encouraging and equipping women over 60 to live their best life!
As 2023 ends, what I simply want to convey to this “Living Your Best Life” Sixty Plus audience, is that I am going to continue to look for, abide in, cling to, bring as much as possible to others, but mainly, choose JOY in all circumstances as I am barreling through my sixth decade—and, I pray, for several more beyond.
We can love our imperfect husbands! God can show us how! God has given you this gift of marriage to show you who you are, and He’s given you a person to love and to love you; to teach you and train you to love—even when you don’t feel like it. Marriage teaches you to stop building a self-protective exterior. The world teaches you to build barriers, create boundaries, love yourself, build your self-esteem—which is the opposite of God’s design for marriage. Our goal is to get you back to that loving, thriving relationship with the man you married.
You won’t have the energy of previous holidays because loss depletes us emotionally, mentally, and physically. Stop and ask yourself what is most important? What can you do this year? Maybe instead of baking dozens of cookies for friends and relatives, you focus on meeting the basic needs of your family.
I’ve read the marriage books, gone to the seminars, gotten all the tactical things to try to make a better marriage. And you know what? They work temporally. They are Band-Aid fixes. But they will not work long term. Why do I know? Because it’s not about getting more head knowledge. I can give you all the scriptures to back up the foundation of why marriages are difficult; that Satan is prowling around ready to devour marriages. All of that is true. As a Christian, you know some of the verses. You may be a better Bible scholar than I am. Your problem is not that you don’t have enough information. The problem is you don’t believe it is you!
At the juncture of the Christmas season and family celebrations lies a potential treasure of tradition. Old handwritten recipes carefully written by a long-gone grandmother are resurrected as you prepare her memorable dish. The holidays are a season of fondly recalling prior Christmas memories while building new ones to cherish. Nothing remains static or stays the same. Life moves forward like a living mural, transporting memories and traditions and creating something new. Traditions are fluid—they only seem static from a distance.
Why didn’t God give me unconditional love for my spouse. It is not the same. I can remember some of our first arguments. I can remember when I felt injustice, unfairness, his anger, words I said that I still regret in a fight we had 20 years ago. I have a pretty good recall of the ugliness we went through in our marriage. I’ve wondered why didn’t God give me that same unconditional love for my husband that he gave me for my kids. Have you ever thought about this?
I find that unworthiness is the root cause of many of our issues in marriage. I briefly talked about it in the previous installment and want to go deeper on the topic now. Do You Feel Unworthy? Do you ever feel unworthy? Can you remember when you first felt these feelings? I think it can…
“I feel badly for my kids and stepkids during the holidays,” Amber, a stepmom explained. “They are shuffled between homes, unfamiliar traditions, and new stepfamily members. I can tell it’s stressful for them. I wish there was something I could do to make it easier.” Amber recognizes the complexities and tension the holidays can stir…
Getting married is not the finish line. It’s the starting line. We are talking about the realities of marriage. Now, what the secular world view of Marriage tells you, when you get to this place of dissatisfaction with your spouse, trade him in. You can do better. The problems you are having in your marriage are because you married the wrong person. You’ve tried to change him, you couldn’t. Or he’s been trying to change you and he couldn’t. Maybe you’ve had children, and you don’t have the same views on how to parent. Your family did it one way and that’s how it should be done. And we all know the issue of money and the disagreements that come from that. Marriage is a lot. It’s not for the faint of heart. If you’ve been married for 2 years, 10, 20, or 30, you have worked out countless arguments. It’s the reality of marriage. It is two imperfect people trying to figure out how to do life together.
Recently I followed the advice of a well-respected massage therapist in town who helped me cure a “trigger finger” on my right hand. As a pianist and vocalist, I was really beginning to suffer. The therapist told me that she soaked her hands four nights a week in castor oil because of the properties in it that reduced inflammation. She told me that she would not be able to continue her work without it. I covered my hand with it that night and placed a surgical glove over it. The next morning, the swelling was 70% gone! Now, after a few nights of the same treatment, I can safely say that my Trigger Finger is 98% healed.
