If you were to give me a two-to-three-word description of your relationship at this very moment, what would it be?
If it’s something like “less-than-stellar,” would you like inexpensive yet powerful ways to strengthen your marriage?
Years ago, my wife and I had come to an impasse in our relationship. I was detached and living in my career, and my wife was into the kids, bible studies, and other things that ladies do. I wish I could tell you I suggested some counseling, but no. I was too proud and bone-headed for that. So instead, my wife strongly encouraged me to make a call.
Our counselor was a wise man who helped us learn to re-negotiate our marriage and reconnect. As we wrapped up therapy, he made a comment that surprised and encouraged us.
He said, “Angie and John, like many couples that come to see me, you guys were way off track, but even in some of the more challenging sessions, you both maintained a healthy sense of humor. That let me know you two are going to make it. You both have a unique ability to enhance your relationship with laughter.”
Those words were a gift to us over 48 years ago and have sustained us through the ebbs and flows of our marriage. By this point in life, if you are still married to your first husband, you, like Angie and me, you’ve likely had ebbs and flows. Trying to infuse your relationship with humor and laughter can help elevate wherever you are right now.
In the next 500 words, I will give you a few tips on enhancing your relationship with laughter. Really, these tips will work on any relationship whether you’ve been married forever, are newly married, or even between friends.
Health Impacts
Humor, laughter, and joy powerfully affect health and well-being. Laughter alleviates tension and stress, boosts mood, raises creativity, and provides an excellent, drug-free energy boost. In addition, humor brings people together and helps them manage life better. The occasional shared belly laugh is essential to a robust and healthy relationship.
Laughter, joy, and playful communication (please check out this link) are some of the most effective, free tools to keep your relationship vital, fresh, and stimulating. Humor and laughter can keep your relationship exciting, light, and joyful. Want more sex? Laugh more. Want to increase your overall well-being? Chill out and giggle.
Six Things Laughter can do to Enhance Your Relationship
1. Links you to others. We are hardwired for relationships. To no small degree, your happiness and health depend on your relationship’s quality. Real connections are engaged face to face, eyeball to eyeball, not in the glow of the blue-tinted screens. And the laughter helps strengthen the relationship’s bond on several levels.
2. Helps smooth over differences. Using gentle humor often lets you deal with sensitive subjects, work through disagreements, and gain a fresh perspective on problems.
3. Develops resilience. A sense of humor is one of the keys to resilience. The American Psychological Association defines resilience as the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or even significant sources of stress–such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems, or workplace and financial stressors.
4. Increases energy and relaxes at the same time. Joy, humor, and laughter relieve fatigue and relax your body while recharging your batteries and helping you get more done.
5. Renews perspective. Most relationships, life, or job situations are better when viewed through the window of joy and laughter.
6. Increases creativity. Playfulness and humor release certain brain chemicals that loosen you up, energize your thinking, and inspire creative problem-solving.
For fun, here are a couple of links to other articles that used this as a part of their articles on relationships:
6 Things a Partner May Do That Can Prove They are the Right One This is an excellent article from Working Woman.
16 Signs You Married the Right Person by John Rampton
Action Plan:
I help couples enhance communication and intimacy by sharing faith-friendly, resilience-based principles.
To learn more, check out www.johnthurman.info. Please take advantage of a free consult by emailing me at john@johnthurman.info or calling me and leaving me a message @ 505-343-2011. I will get back to you usually within 24 hours. From there, we can set up a time to talk face-to-face or virtually.
John Thurman is an author, Therapist, Work-Life Consultant, and Speaker who helps individuals and couples become more resilient in their personal lives, their relationships and in their faith. He and his wife Angie have been married more than 50 years and live in Albuquerque. www.johnthurman.info Email is john@johnthurman.info. Direct office number is 505-343-2011.
© 2023 John Thurman
Great advice, John! I heartily agree.
About eight years ago, I entered the online dating scene – looking to see if God would give me a second chance at love. One guy’s profile said, “In the midst of Life, I so often see the lighter side of things, and am quick to laugh.” That, among other things, drew me to the most amazing man I have ever met – who is now my cherished husband. Truly, Larry’s humor deflects pain and stress, rather than causing it! I am so grateful for my husband’s gentle humor that makes even sad and bad situations a little easier to bear – and makes ALL of life a lot more fun.
Great article and tips! Being in a second marriage with a blended family, I whole heartily agree that seeing humor or the lighter side of things, being able to be positive and flexible, and learning to appreciate your differences make for a better relationship. My upbringing (military brat) taught me a lot and your pointers are so true! I enjoyed reading this!
Thank you, John! My husband and I are about to become “empty nesters” as our only child, our son, heads off to college. We know we still have some years of parenting/coaching of a young adult ahead of us but we also know that we will be spending more time together again. As I was reading this, I am remembering how much we used to make each other laugh before child rearing took over. I am going to have him read this too. THANK YOU for these great tips.