Living in Strength

By this point in life, you would hope that each of us have had our rough edges smoothed out a bit—that we would have been enlightened enough to have worked to eliminate our offensive traits. But look around. Your friends and family have probably not evolved to the place where you only see their strengths. While your weaknesses may not be obvious to you, chances are others see them—just like you see theirs.

Don’t use your natural traits as an excuse for poor behavior. Your relationships will be better if you are living in your strengths. Be your best!

The Personalities

This is where a study of The Personalities is so helpful. Once you understand your Personality and the corresponding strengths and weaknesses, you can be more aware of your weaknesses and make a conscious effort to minimize them.

For those not familiar with The Personalities, here’s a quick synopsis.

There are four basic Personality types—though we all have varying degrees of each type. Most of us will have one primary Personality and a secondary that may be close to 50%. Most people have a few scattered traits in other categories.

Popular Sanguine

I am starting with the Popular Sanguine because they are most obvious to identify. This Personality has a loud voice and tends to like bold clothing. They talk with their hands. If something comes into their mind, it usually comes out of their mouth with no filter. They can be (to others) irritatingly happy and cheerful. Think of the bright yellow happy face.

Perfect Melancholy

The next most obvious, is the Perfect Melancholy. This person is the opposite of the Popular Sanguine. Where the Popular Sanguine is loud (in clothes and voice), the Perfect Melancholy is quiet. He/she is respectful and detail-oriented. They do not jump into conversations and eschew center stage. They prefer one-on-one interactions. They are deep, thoughtful, and introspective. Think of a deep blue—like the ocean.

Powerful Choleric

The next most obvious, or the second least obvious, is the Powerful Choleric. They are the natural born leaders and are often in charge of any group—be it personal or professional. They know what they want and can make quick decisions. They are usually right and, therefore, on the rare occasions when they are wrong, they have a hard time apologizing. He/she may barge into a group setting without realizing that he/she is interrupting. Think red like a fire engine.

Peaceful Phlegmatic

Last, is the Peaceful Phlegmatic—the least obvious to identify. This person is the opposite of the Powerful Choleric. Where everyone knows when the Powerful Choleric is present, the Peaceful Phlegmatic is hesitant to make waves. He/she has a calming presence. Though friendly and easy-going, and, hence, well-liked, the quiet nature can cause them to be overlooked. Think of green, like the grass, for this person.

Beyond Labels

Use the links corresponding to each Personality to learn more. If you are familiar with a different archetype system, you can just translate as they almost all have the same core traits. One of the key differences between The Personalities and most other programs is that it goes beyond labels. Instead of being stuck where you are, each person is encouraged to grow beyond their natural Personality, after all, “we are the only animals on the earth that can overrule our genes”—or natural inclinations. We realize our strengths and weaknesses. We work to overcome our weaknesses and acquire strengths that are not natural to us. This is maturity.

Raw Vs. Refined

So, with that brief overview, let’s take a look at how each different Personality comes across if he/she is living in strength versus living in weakness—what I like to call the “refined” rather than “raw” Personality. Each Personality type can be a fabulous person that people want to be with, or, living in the weaknesses, can be irritating.

Ideally, the Popular Sanguine is energetic, enthusiastic, and inviting. Living in weakness, this person struggles with follow through, cannot say “No,” and fears being left out. He/she may be seen as egotistical and superficial.

A refined Perfect Melancholy is organized, compassionate and a reliable, trustworthy friend/teammate. In the raw, this person can be obsessive, moody, and depressed. The Perfect Melancholy’s life, in the raw, can be limited by fears. He/she may be seen as self-righteous and aloof.

The Powerful Choleric, living in his/her strengths is purposeful and focused, motivates others and is productive. In weakness, makes decisions for everyone, is overly confident, and non-emotional. He/she is often viewed as bossy and intimidating.

The refined Peaceful Phlegmatic is patient, dependable, and witty. Living in weakness, he/she can be a boring, indecisive, lazy person who lacks motivation. They can be subtly passive-aggressive and their sarcastic nature can be biting.  

Not an Excuse

Next time you hear yourself saying: “That’s just the way I am,” stop! Ask yourself: “Am I using my Personality weaknesses as an excuse?” If you are, it is probably time to grow beyond your natural inclinations.

Regardless of your primary Personality type, I am sure you would agree that the raw/weakness version is not someone you want to be.

Take some time to review the complete chart of strengths and weaknesses found through the above links. If you are not sure of your Personality’s make up, take the Wired that Way Personality Profile. Use this tool as a starting place to help you become the person you want to be. Your Personality isn’t the end; it can be the beginning of a personal growth journey.

Someone living in their strengths, refined, is someone everyone wants as a friend or family member. That is living your best life.

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Marita Littauer Tedder has spent the majority of her adult life working with women—helping them improve relationships, achieve their speaking and writing dreams, and being the best version of themselves they can possibly be. The author of 20 books, this Living Our Best Life Project is her newest effort—through which she hopes to challenge women to be fulfilled where they are.