Of life’s hardest issues, I had always believed that this theory was an over exaggeration: that moving ranks third—with, understandably, a death being number one and a divorce being number two. But moving being a third, how and why so? Read on.
Please understand that I am NOT diminishing the huge life tragedy of death or divorce. I would never undermine or compare struggles with death or divorce to my challenges of our major life transition.
But from my recent experience, I can now speak to why downsizing and or relocating is actually number three of life’s major challenges, especially for the those of us over 60 years old, moving and or relocating is a Lifesizing® issue, not merely a downsizing issue. You see, Lifesizing® incorporates the physical, mental, and emotional aspects of life, of these life challenges of downsizing, moving, and relocating.
The Physical Reason
You may know that I have been a wellness guru for a very long time—eating healthy (most of time) getting exercise, along with striving to live a balanced life with sleep and stress control.
Most of that went out the window with our downsizing, packing, unpacking, and basically starting over by moving out of state. Now, granted, we did all this in our early 70’s but still, it kicked our butts physically!
The positive side of this challenge? We were way ahead for our age being physically able to endure all that our move required of us. Anyone, of any age, needs to acknowledge the physical drain of a life transition such as we did. This is another huge reason why I am such a promoter of taking super good care of ourselves physically to be able to handle any of life’s challenges regardless of what they look like.
Another Physical Reason
Our healthy eating took a major dive mainly because our new to us kitchen was not set up right away. And then who knew how challenging it would be to learn how to shop entirely new grocery store options? As a foodie and as a cook, I was more than out of my comfort zone, I was uncharacteristically dismayed. More importantly though, my overall nutritional wellness was very compromised which made my physical recovery thwarted even more.
However, the positive side of this food challenge was that Ohio is a mecca for fruit and vegetable markets overflowing with the freshest produce that I have ever seen or tasted. And the flowers, be still my heart!
The Mental Reason
Where do I start on the mental challenge of this huge life transition? The biggie of course was connecting with a high-level melanoma specialist for Bob.
A huge mental drain was determining:
- Primary care doctors
- Eye doctor
- Dermatologist for skin check ups
- Dentist
- Hair stylist…. major challenge!
- Banks for accounts & etc.
- New Insurance policies in Ohio
- Legal and financial advisor
And the list goes on….
The positive side of this mental drain was eventually feeling a huge sense of accomplishment establishing these all new medical and other services.
Another Mental Reason
Organizing our new home—oh my! This took forever which—definitely surprised me and if truth be known, were still at it although very close to finally saying we did it! I will expand on this in another post.
The positive side of this major mental brain drain is that life just keeps getting better and better through having less with downsizing, but also with experiencing less stress with better organization.
I am loving this simpler life! And yes, I am still a shoealholic 🙂
The Emotional Reason
There was only one emotional reason for me, but this one was a biggie! I took a major emotional dive missing my identity as an interior designer AND missing all my friends and connections in Wichita, KS.
The positive side has been connecting with long time high school friends plus meeting new friends that will become special to me given time to make our own history together. Plus, I am blessed to have my sister close by and other family as well. However, make no mistake about it, being prepared to start a new community, especially if relocating states, is another reason again, why moving is one of life’s greatest challenges.
Now that we are settled in, we are having the time of our lives. We absolutely are in love with our new home, our quiet and peaceful neighborhood, wonderful church, exploring new places, and of course, being near family.
My ultimate reason for writing this post was to give you all a heads up to be prepared beyond just the actual physical move. Especially if a move is in your future, whether local or otherwise, it is imperative to gain additional knowledge, which is a powerful tool, to facilitate all aspects of your new life. The more you know, the more you can prepare yourselves physically, mentally, and emotionally.
And that my dear friends is purely Design SMARTS!
Mitzi Beach, A.S.I.D., C.A.P.S. is an award-winning interior designer, author of Design Smarts, and latest book, The Door to Restoration, a conference speaker, and 50+ marketing and interior design/lifestyle specialist. Armed with 30 years of experience and a Master’s Degree in Interior Design, she is one of Design Hounds’s top 100 influencers. Quoted in Wall Street Journal, Women’s Health Magazine, & other periodicals on Aging-in Place trends. For more information, visit https://mitzibeach.com.https://mitzibeach.com
Thank you, Mitzi! Such an IMPORTANT post! So thankful for your story and expertise. We downsized a while ago. We may still have one more move in us and your tips are a great reminder!
I remember when my mother thought she was moving into her final house. She moved at least four more times after that.
I can totally relate to your dear mother’s plans since same thing happened to us but not four times! The point remains the same, life will happen, get ready!
I love it Debbie that you see the value in my post which means that you are among the smart ones realizing life will indeed happen, get ready by being prepared!
Thank you for commenting!
I went through this last November —along with selling my prior house just days before we closed on the new house. Although my new kitchen was organized well, all the logistics of closing, moving etc. and most of the work came while my husband was finishing up his semester teaching. I’ve heard only one other couple tell me this transition was very difficult. Many people just give it lip service. One person thought it would be “easy” for me!! If you are moving to a good place and you’ve done some planning, I’d say do it. But it will—in the words of the author—kick your butt.
Yes, it will definitely kick our butts but how much harder this all will be if we wait too long ? With each passing year, most of us find our energy level is not what it used to be even with doing all we can to live a healthy lifestyle. Moral of the story is do not wait to get prepared by downszing now, upgrading our homes to sell or stay, but do something now and do not put off the inevitable.
Great comment, thank you!
Two forest fires comsumed two of our homes. With my husbands passing, I’m faced again with downsizing. Loss is hard and the discarding of memorabilia can be distressing. Thank you for your encouraging article!
Oh dear Barbara, you have experienced major lossses but yet by keeping in touch with Marita and commenting on my post, you are a fighter and will be a winner through it all. I do no solicit or market on Marita’s site but I believe you are the exception. My book, The Door to Restoration’s purpose is to give Hope. It is on Amazon. Blessings on you as you move forward.
Oh and yes, the memorabilia is the hardest. Perhaps I should do a post on suggestions for downszing our memorabilia.