Rediscovering the Lost Art of Ladies’ Luncheons

A little more than two years ago, I introduced my Casita Marita Dinner Parties to the Best-Life Community. I continue to host them and have lost track of how many dinner parties I have had and how many guests have participated. Because they have enjoyed them so much, friends often ask: “When is your next Casita Marita party?” As I addressed in my initial post, my husband is not as enthusiastic as I am about these gatherings—though he does always go along and admits that the evening went “better than expected.” Because of this, I am hesitant to mention to him that I want to host another one. And they are quite a bit of work.

So, a few months ago, I came up with another idea: Casita Marita Luncheon Edition—for women only.

Just like the original, I created a potential guest list that included my usual girlfriends, others I wanted to get to know better, and some new people I’d met. As I’d done before, I sent out an email explaining the plan and asking if they’d like to be included in the lottery. My husband was pleased that it didn’t involve him.

I have now had three luncheons with the most recent being yesterday. They have been so popular, I wanted to write a new post to encourage some of you to host your own luncheons. If, like me, you have more gals on your guest list than can fit around the table, let them know there will be a lottery or a drawing and they can be included at a future luncheon. I have found that having six to eight around the table works the best conversationally. Even if you can seat 12 to 14, I suggest keeping the number smaller. With the larger number there are usually several conversations going on at the same time—which changes the dynamic. Plus, there is more work!

One thing I have done differently from the original Casita Marita Dinner Parties is that I include the menu with the invitation for each month’s luncheon (which allows those with food allergies or specific likes/dislikes to just say she’s not available) and I ask who is available on the date I have chosen. For yesterday’s July luncheon, only 8 were available (plus me, equals 9). Rather than having a drawing to omit one, I just squeezed in another seat—so, we didn’t actually have a lottery. But for the previous two, I have. As you can see from the photo, I write down the “yes” and “no” responses as they come in. I number them. I have little slips of paper in a cup with numbers up to 20. On the predetermined date, I do the drawing and announce who won.

Having all women around the table is a different, more open ambiance, than when the men are present. For example, yesterday’s group was largely made up of women who didn’t know each other. At my direction, they went around the table and mentioned something about themselves. I started by asking how long the first person had lived in Lubbock. From there, the comments flowed naturally with different guests interjecting as appropriate. As we were nearly all the way around the table, one woman introduced herself as a “survivor.” That caught our attention. She explained that she was a victim of domestic abuse and has done a lot of work with Women’s Protective Services. Two others joined the conversation and indicated that they, too, experienced domestic abuse—something I doubt would have come up if the men were present. As the hostess, I encourage you to be sensitive to timing so that one person doesn’t dominate the conversation while another hardly says a thing.

Another benefit of the luncheon approach is that it is easier and costs less. For my dinner party menu (about $20 per person), I typically do an appetizer, a soup or salad, a full main course with protein, veggie and starch, and a dessert. Guests often bring wine. For the Luncheon Edition (about $10 per person), I do a two-part main course and a dessert—usually a sandwich and a salad or soup and main course salad. I serve water and Iced tea.

For my inaugural Luncheon Edition, I served a favorite Caprese Stuffed Avocado. I add either bay shrimp or cut-up shrimp to make it a main course. Because the main course was simple, I did a dessert trio (Lemon Crinkle Cookies, Brownie Bites, Pecan Pie Mini Cupcakes)—all of which I made the night before.

Next, I did a French-onion-soup grilled cheese sandwich with a fruit cup and a favorite lemon-blueberry tart—however I use the crust from my favorite lemon bar recipe. I caramelized the onions and grated the cheese the night before. For a group, the French-onion-soup grilled cheese sandwich needs to be done on a Blackstone or griddle.

For yesterday’s Asian menu—which I based on a notification that came across my computer screen for Asian Chicken Cranberry Salad—I added an egg drop soup and Chinese Almond Cookies for dessert. I made the salad and the dressing the night before and dressed the salad just before serving. I made the cookies in the morning and had the soup ready to put together just after my guests arrived.

Remember, the timetable is important. Do as much as you can the day/night before. I always set the table the day before. That way I know it is ready and don’t have to worry about it.

When my guests arrive, I either select a friend who I know is comfortable in my kitchen to be my sous chef or ask: “Who wants to be my sous chef?” She helps me with the last-minute preparations and helps me plate and serve the meal. She usually, also, assists with removing the used plates from the table.

Because I like to plan a menu and cook, this is how I do it. There is nothing wrong with accepting help. Perhaps a guest will offer to do dessert. Sometimes one wants to help clean up. This can make hosting easier. I also enjoy creating a graphic for the menu/invitation—which I do in Canva. But if that is not your skill set, just include the details in the email.

You will find your guests are happy to be included. Ladies’ luncheons have become a lost art. The food fills the tummy, but the conversation often nourishes the soul. These are just some of the comments I received following yesterday’s luncheon.

• Thank you so much for the great conversation/fellowship at lunch today. I was moved by each of your life stories, and I was definitely ministered to by each of you as I am struggling with a personal trial at the moment. I was truly blessed.
• What a wonderful time spent with some amazing ladies. I will say that each of you in your stories, testimonies, life and all-around personalities blessed me so much! Thank you, Marita, for being the connector for each of us, you are a jewel! I can’t wait til we all see each other again!!
• I had such a good time with y’all! We have so much in common whether from Lubbock, Levelland, Illinois, or Minnesota! Let’s do it again sometime soon!
• The lunch was absolutely wonderful! I believe our paths have crossed for a reason and I feel blessed to have met you all!! Please stay in touch. And, let’s get together again soon! 

You just never know how your efforts will bless others! Gather your girlfriends. Watch for women who might be new in town and need a friend. Look for those with whom you’d like to spend more time. Take a risk and put a luncheon together. Even a lottery can bring women together in a way we could never have orchestrated.

(If you are on Facebook, please do a search for #casitamarita for more photos.)

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Marita Littauer Tedder has spent the majority of her adult life working with women—helping them improve relationships, achieve their speaking and writing dreams, and being the best version of themselves they can possibly be. The author of 20 books, this Living Our Best Life Project is her newest effort—through which she hopes to challenge women to be fulfilled where they are.