“I Am Woman Hear Me Ro.., Wait. What?

This week I spoke with a 65-year-old woman who recently divorced her husband of 22 years. She shared how the leadership in her church didn’t think she should have divorced him. It was troubling her. 

I shared some scriptures on the ways Jesus loves and honors women, and that protecting herself is not unbiblical. I explained that Christian marriage isn’t a prison sentence where an abused woman should ignore beatings, breaking of the vows, or a husband treating his wife as a slave. 

Before you close the screen and label me as “soft on divorce,” let me assure you that you will be hard pressed to find anyone who hates divorce more than I do. I’ve experienced the soul crushing, gut mutilating, heart pulverizing, experience firsthand. I know why God hates it, and it’s not the reason the Church teaches. He despises divorce because it devastates His people to their core. It destroys His creation in ways that traumatize the mind, soul and body. He profoundly wails. 

I’m an adult child of divorced parents with the scars to prove it, and I’ve spent 35 years working in divorce recovery ministry. 

No human hates divorce more than I do.  

But I LOVE divorced people, and so does God. 

However, this post isn’t about divorce. 

When this client shared her story with me, it triggered my memory. And I shared that insight with her because I felt a press that said it would help her overcome her shame.

My mom was the original, “I am Woman Hear me Roar” of the early 70’s. I was raised with that mantra. When I became a Christian in 1980, I ended up in a Baptist Church. 

I was raised Catholic. I knew nothing about protestants except that I saw black Baptist church choirs on TV. They wore colorful robes while clapping, harmoniously singing, and wholeheartedly swaying to the rhythm of upbeat music. I decided God must like them more than Catholics because He gave them the fun, melodious music. Imagine my surprise when my new Baptist church was mostly Caucasian, had an old piano and sang slow hymns from the 1920’s. 

I didn’t care. I was in love with Jesus. 

God was working, this church was a divine appointment. 

First Baptist church didn’t reject women in leadership in any capacity. I assumed all Baptist churches were the same just like all Catholic churches have the same mass. I started by serving on the board of Christian education. On a monthly basis we discussed what toys to buy for the nursery. At one meeting I got so frustrated with the repetitious conversation that I loudly offered to go directly to Fisher Price and purchase anything they wanted. My only request was a promise to never discuss it again.

They moved me to another board. 

I was in the wrong room. 

Then the church leaders asked me to become a deaconess. That appeared to be a better fit. 3 women and 7 men working together in harmony for the spiritual growth of the Body of Christ.  We did hospital visitation, served communion, and discussed how to talk to teen girls who got pregnant. 

I was finally in my element and giftedness.

Then came the vote for the new chairman. My male pastor said, “Laura, I think you should be nominated.”

“No, that’s not possible,” I replied.

“Why not?” he asked.

“I am a woman. No woman in the 175-year history of this church has ever been the chairman. It must be a man.”  

“You are the best, most qualified person for the job. That should not make a difference.” 

And based on his suggestion I allowed myself to be nominated for the position. They voted, and I became the first woman at First Baptist to ever hold that position.  

What I didn’t know is I was in a divergence. I didn’t know that many Baptist churches didn’t allow women to be in leadership. I had no idea what our clever God was up to. 

He knew I needed deep Biblical instruction. And evangelical churches are often the best place to get it. He also knew that being raised by a Helen Reddy’s protégée, I wouldn’t fare well in a church that told me I couldn’t use my gifts just because I had a uterus. 

Don’t misunderstand. This was not a woke, liberal church. Just the opposite. This conservative church didn’t shy away from teaching women that God had ordained men and women differently. Or that a husband and wife had different roles in the home. It didn’t tell women to be the boss of the home or church, or to vigorously run the show. Just the opposite. They taught me how to listen and respect my husband and male church leaders. 

I had never heard this teaching before.

In my home, run by a single mom who had been abandoned by her husband for another woman, I was taught to never, ever depend on a man. Her instruction was firm and unwavering. Men are weak and spineless; women should be totally self-sufficient. I now understand it was rooted in fear of getting hurt. She was the only divorced woman in our Catholic church and during a time when it was shameful to be unmarried with kids. This embryonic era also birthed the lie “become a bad-ass woman and you’ll never have problems”. 

Yes, I had a lot to learn about marriage. And the Body of Christ.

And God knew that if I was in a church that told women they were “less than” men—I would have run. 

He knew how to grow and mature me. He wanted me deeply rooted in biblical truth for the tasks and ministry that were to come. 

He waited. He nurtured and held me. He passionately and patiently intensified my zeal and biblical wisdom until He knew I was ready to handle the rejection I was to face in full-time Christian ministry. 

I didn’t know how many doors would be slammed in my face, or the insults I’d endure, just because I was a woman. He did. And I needed to know with absolute certainty that He wouldn’t leave me when the battle of rejection came like a tsunami.  

And I’m exceedingly grateful that He knows us so intimately that He discerned where to place me, and how to raise me up, in those formative years.

I’m 70 now. I don’t think about my gender, or who wants me in the church anymore. 

Because He ordains my steps. I’ve spoken in 4 of the 7 continents and taught virtually in 1 more. I’ve instructed men and women, rich and poor, Asians, blacks, whites, yankees, cowboys, southerners and everything in between. I’ve taught singles, married, divorced, and remarried. I’ve been invited to speak and lecture in more denominations than I can count. I’ve preached from a pulpit that is the first slave church in Cape Town South Africa. There is no door that God can’t open.

I go where He leads. My body parts don’t disqualify me from His service.  

Why? Because I’m His Beloved. And nothing—absolutely nothing—can separate me from his affection and calling. 

Copyright © 2026 Laura Petherbridge. All rights reserved

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Laura Petherbridge

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Laura Petherbridge is an international author and speaker who serves couples and single adults with topics on relationships, stepfamilies, singles, divorce prevention, and divorce recovery. She is the author of When “I Do” Becomes “I Don’t”—Practical Steps for Healing During Separation and Divorce, The Smart Stepmom, co-authored with Ron Deal, and 101 Tips for The Smart Stepmom: Expert Advice From One Stepmom to Another. Her website is www.TheSmartStepmom.com. Watch her most recent broadcast with Family Life Blended.