If you’ve been trying to figure out how to rebuild that spark—that love connection—with your spouse, but everything feels awkward, forced, or just off, this post is for you. I’m sharing the marriage tips that helped me rekindle romance when our connection felt like it was fading.
There was a season when my husband and I were just missing each other. We weren’t fighting, we were just living parallel lives. The laughter that once came so easily now felt rare, and conversations were mostly about schedules, or what needed to be done.
I remember one day, watching one of those silly Hallmark movies. I was watching this couple walking hand-in-hand and I felt a pang in my chest. I missed that kind of closeness, the kind that didn’t feel like work.
So, I prayed, “Lord, I don’t want us to just coexist. Show me how to rebuild that love connection again.”
And He did. Not through big dramatic moments—but through small, intentional steps that opened the door to deeper connection and joy again.
It wasn’t long after that I was sitting on my side porch and a thought came to me: “Monette you really want to start lifting weights and you want to get physically stronger. What if you share this with Leland? What if you guys figured out how to do this together.” That is when I went upstairs and said: “I need to lift weights to build some muscle. You know so much more about that than I do.” He had played football in college and had the weightlifting background. That was the beginning of a beautiful change we both experienced. We went to 24-Hour Fitness and got a free personal fitness session together. We figured out a time to meet to lift weights together. 2:00, three times a week. This was huge, we both not only got physically stronger but our emotional connection deepened. We were doing something together that benefited both of us. This was a turning point!
I’m going to share with you Marriage Tips to Rekindle Romance and Build Connection.
Tip 1: Rebuild Communication with Curiosity
Communication isn’t just about talking—it’s about truly understanding each other again. This takes mental effort and being intentional. When you get curious instead of critical, you invite openness instead of defensiveness.
Ask your spouse about something you haven’t asked him about in years—his dreams, his worries, what he’s been thinking about lately. Curiosity creates emotional safety, which builds connection.
Take a few minutes and make a list of your similar interests. This exercise will stir up some ideas to create more connecting conversations. I feel sometimes we just get comfortable with each other, and we miss the opportunity to get to know our spouse on a deeper level. Frankly, we get lazy. I’m guilty of this!
Tip 2: Rekindle Romance Through Small, Daily Gestures
Romance doesn’t always look like grand gestures—it’s often found in the small, consistent acts of love. These small moments remind your spouse that he’s still seen and valued. Here are some tips: try leaving a note, planning a simple breakfast together, or send a funny reel you know will make him laugh and say: “this reminds me of us!” The consistency of care rekindles warmth and trust.
Tip 3: Prioritize Presence Over Perfection
Connection grows when you’re present—even in imperfect moments. Many couples lose intimacy because they focus on fixing problems rather than being with each other. Here’s a thought, regardless whose cooking or cleaning at dinner time, I have found actually hanging out in the kitchen with the other person, being in proximity, creates connection.
I have to be honest here, my husband is an amazing chef, I can take this for granted, I do the clean-up. When I spend time visiting with him while he’s creating some great meal, it creates a fun, light time for both of us. It’s in these small moments together we become closer.
Tip 4: Invite God Into Your Connection
God designed marriage to reflect His love, and that includes intimacy, joy, and tenderness. Without Him at the center, we start relying only on our emotions or effort—and both eventually run dry. Here’s an idea you’ll hear me share a lot: pray for your spouse by name. Ask God to show you how He sees him. Prayer softens hearts and renews love.
My prayers are not complicated or formal. Sometimes don’t you find yourself being irritated for no reason? This is when I shoot up bullet prayers, like Lord let me not bring this attitude into my marriage. Please let this feeling be fleeting. Lord guard my marriage.
Tip 5: Remember—Love Is a Choice, Not a Feeling
Feelings fade, but commitment deepens when we choose love daily. When we treat love as an action—serving, forgiving, showing up—passion and connection follow naturally. How do we do this? Make small choices every day that say, “You matter to me.” A text, a kind word, a touch on the arm—love grows through consistency.
I want you to ponder this question and write down what comes to mind. “What’s one small way you can choose love today, even if you don’t feel like it?”
Wrap Up & Recap
The five marriage tips….
Rebuild communication with curiosity.
Rekindle romance through small, daily gestures.
Prioritize presence over perfection.
Invite God into your connection.
Remember—love is a daily choice, not a feeling.
Romance isn’t something that fades and never returns. It can be reignited when you choose to lean in, listen, and love with intention.
This is my prayer….
“Lord, thank You for the gift of marriage. Help us see our spouses the way You do—with patience, tenderness, and grace. Teach us to love deeply and to build a connection that reflects Your heart.”
If you’re feeling stuck or distant, take heart—rebuilding connection doesn’t happen overnight, but it does happen with intention. Start small, keep showing up, and watch what God can do. Because with Him, it’s never too late to rekindle love and rebuild your marriage story. God has miracles for your marriage; I am living proof!
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Monette Sedberry is the host of the weekly podcast Midlife Marriage Makeover, where she encourages Christian empty-nester wives to rebuild connection, spark fresh joy, and invite God back into the center of their marriage. A lifelong learner and storyteller, Monette shares practical wisdom, faith-filled mindset shifts, and honest reflections from her own journey—both on her podcast and here at The Best-Life Project. Her words flow with honesty and compassion, giving women hope that change is possible.
Monette lives in Albuquerque, NM with her husband Leland. They have three adult children and love adventuring, traveling, and savoring this new season of life together. Learn more at: http://linktr.ee/Miracle_Marriage
