A stepparent is in a position where he or she benevolently and naively strolls into an already existing family unit. Even if a divorce between the parents has occurred, the preexisting bonds, memories, and experiences have solidified them before she arrived. There is a security, acceptance, freedom to be oneself, in a safe family setting. Laughter and tears have unified them into a tight, and typically guarded turf. Even if mom and dad hate each other, the family foundation was formed before the stepparent arrived. Any new person, even one that marries into the tribe, is going to feel “outside that circle”. Even when a sibling brings a new person to the table, he or she will typically be embraced into the circle more quickly than a parent’s new partner.
