My husband Bill and I were interviewed by a magazine on how to keep the fun and laughs in marriage. We didn’t realize how much we have invested in this area until we were approached as “experts” in finding fun!
It is biblical to cultivate joy! The Prophet Nehemiah said, “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” (Neh. 8:10)
Jesus proclaimed, “I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.” (John 15:11)
With these biblical directives in mind, I have proactively cultivated the fun and festivity in our marriage. Later, after wives kept asking me for ideas to spice up their love with joy, I wrote 52 Ways to Wow Your Husband: Put a Smile on His Face. Here are a few tips from that book on making fun higher on your To-Do list of ways to wow your man:
Be a Pal
What did you do with friends while growing up? Maybe you enjoyed things like bike rides, skateboarding, water or snow skiing, jet skiing, camping, rock climbing, hiking, board games, dancing, kite flying, Frisbee throwing, miniature golf. Any thing you loved when you were young could bring some fun back into your love life today.
Be Prepared
Get some things on hand to serve as ticklers of your mate’s funny bone: Joke books, the Sunday comics, squirt guns, silly string, whoopee cushions—you’re getting the picture. Put a few things in your desk drawer that could help lighten the load of your mate by providing comic relief.
Be Spontaneous
I know this sounds like an oxymoron, but stock up so you can be spontaneous. If you are prepared, you can seize the moment! And a spontaneous attitude has its payoff. My friend Sharon spontaneously danced with her husband, Mark in a favorite coffee cafe, and they were applauded by the British tourists enjoying their mocha magic
Be Proactive
Schedule in fun as you would a dentist or doctor appointments. If you have light at the end of your responsibility tunnel, the daily load is easier to bear. Another benefit of being the cruise director of your hubby’s fun is that his heart will look forward to seeing you and spending time with you. Who would you rather see, the dentist or the cheerleader, an IRS agent or the masseuse? Easy call—you want the one who renews you, revives you, or releases your pain, not the one who inflicts it.
Be a Parrot
Make it your goal to remember those humorous things you see, things you say, jokes and stories you hear, signs, billboards, and bumper stickers you read. Some of our best laughs are when we run in from a lunch, a trip, or a meeting with a joke or story “you just have to hear.” If you need to, write these down or use the recorder on your smartphone to help you remember the punch lines.
Wow Assignment
Set aside some time and some money to stock up for amusement. Make a list of activities your spouse enjoyed as a boy, as a teen, as a newlywed. You might need to interview his family and friends or casually ask your man about some of his happy memories. Pile up some books, magazines, toys, and novelties that might bring a smile to his face (garage sales can be a great source for guilt free enjoyment).
Wow Wisdom
Fill the storehouse! Joseph was elevated to second in command of Egypt because of the wisdom he shared to save for seven years so there would be a surplus in times of famine (Genesis 41). If you store up happy memories, when rough times come, your husband will find it easier to see the cup as half full and picture you as a friend not a foe.
Wow Date
Take your mate back to his boyhood. Invite your man out by attaching a note to a fishing pole, Ping-Pong paddle, or wrist rocket. Spend the afternoon skipping rocks while you tell stories or take a dip in a local pond after a picnic. Skate at a local park and take pleasure in sharing a banana split. Tousle his hair as you tickle his soul.
You might have to encourage your man to enjoy his loves. My friend Yvonne, when asked what was the most outrageously fun thing she had done with her honey, replied: “Zip lining in Alaska and parasailing in Hawaii. He didn’t want to do either of them, but afterward he said it was the best of times… go figure?”
These are some ideas that have worked for us. We’d love to hear from you. What have you done that has worked to bring joy to your marriage?
We love the happy endorphins that are released on active sports and games type dates. We also love a hilarious, live, clean comedy night out.
Go play! Make it your goal to laugh until his sides split.
Pam and Bill Farrel have been happily, and sometimes hilariously, married for 44 years. The Farrels cultivate fun dates like paddle boarding, kayaking, and fishing from their live aboard board docked in Southern CA. Many enjoyable date ideas are in Pam’s Red Hot Wow Wife Duo: 52 Ways to Wow Your Husband and Red Hot Romance Tips for Women. You can also download FREE 100s of Fun and Fantastic Romantic Dates. Pam has also written extensively on cultivating joy: Discovering Joy In Philippians: A Creative Bible Study Experience and Growing a Joyful Heart devotional. The Farrels have 3 sons, 3 daughters in love, and seven grandkids who love family stand up comedy nights. whipped cream fights, and charades– played in the pool! www.Love-wise.com
Great ideas and a springboard for more. Instead of watching depressing news before bed, we tend to watch something funny. As couple we love to eat out at lovely restaurants. One reason is we are both good cooks and don’t want to eat out, having mediocre meals. We’d rather go out for quality meals that are difficult preparations that we don’t make at home. My husband BBQ’s the best steaks out there, so we rarely go to a steakhouse. Our wind down time or “cocktail hour” is often spent with each of us telling the tales of the day—some silly, some sad, and some, just plain challenging It’s important quality time for us.
Pam!!!! This is so great! my husband and I have been empty nesters now for a little over a year and we are still getting over it. We only had one child that we had late in life. We have been talking so much lately on how to give ourselves permission to have fun again and to not worry about our son. This really helped and I so appreciate your joy and sharing it with us.
Loved these reminders — it’s so easy to fall out of the habit of dating when you’ve been married 40+ years, you’ve reminded me of some good ideas to put into actions – thank you Pam!