Thanks for joining me as we continue our series on mindset shifts. I can’t tell you how invigorating this series has been for me. I feel these mindset shifts are something all of is who expect more from ourselves face. Those of us who want to grow and change and get better, are continuously challenged. Today, I am addressing the mindset of commitment and courage vs. the mindset of fear and avoidance.
I’ve struggled with each of the mindsets we have been talking about in this series so far. That is the reason I have so much passion to discuss them. Just as our lives seem be an incredible place another challenge pops up. We never “ARRIVE.” But I can tell you this, when I’ve played the game of life of trying to keep it at status quo, just good enough, that’s when I’ve been the most miserable. What’s actually happening is I’m losing momentum and my life starts digressing. In other words, falling apart. You can name the area, my health and fitness, my marriage (you can probably relate if you’re married), my business quests, parenting, and personal relationships. I have learned if you don’t stay curious and allow your brain to grow and experience new things, if you don’t ground yourself in God’s word, life will throw something at you that will get your attention. My biggest warning is the minute you stop creating and start coasting and playing not to lose, you are missing out on God’s best for you—you are not living your best life. Our lives are to be lived! So, let’s continue exploring mindset shifts.
What does the mindset shift of commitment and courage vs. fear and avoidance bring up for you? Commitment and courage? Of all the mindset shifts we’ve discussed previously, this one, if you can embrace it, is where you will experience significant change. This is another concept I learned from Dan Sullivan a strategy business coach. He calls the whole concept the four c’s. They are commitment, courage, capability, and confidence. When we make the decision to try something new, start something, or change something it all starts with an idea, a decision. But most people don’t think they have the confidence to do _____ (whatever the thing is). Of course, you don’t because this is new. You’ve never done it before. We don’t start with confidence; confidence is the fourth step of the process. It’s the result.
I’ll use my personal story to illustrate what I’m talking about. Put yourself in your story, with your unique dream. Years ago, I decided I wanted to start a podcast. I had never done anything like this before. I did not have the confidence I could do this. It was an idea I had. The first piece after the decision to actually start a podcast was the commitment. I would write, record and put out an episode every week. The next piece was courage. The courage to record the first episode, tell my family and friends I was going to do this and actually put it out there. It was so scary! All the what ifs: what if no one listens, what if I’m a joke to all my friends. Courage was key. I had to be willing to fail! Then came the capability. Figuring out all of it, what to talk about on a weekly basis, how to do the technology, how to do a podcast. On the capability part, I had a lot of help, my daughter who set me up to get started, listened to every episode I put out, helped edit all the descriptions—so much help. My son and my husband told me I can do this. Through the process of creating a podcast, I’ve gained a ton of confidence. I’ve now had thousands and thousands of downloads. When one of my friends ask, how do you have the confidence to do a podcast, I know personally the confidence I have has been the by-product not the start. It’s been a process. It all started with a commitment and courage mindset! This isn’t about me it’s about you. I want you to remember the four c’s. Commitment, courage, capability, and confidence.
So, what is the commitment and courage mindset compared to the fear and avoidance mindset? It’s two opposite mindsets.
The person who is willing to make a commitment and has a courage mindset, is the person who is:
- willing to experiment
- willing to take a chance, and challenge themselves
- curious about life and willing to take a risk
- to bet on themselves
- to get out of their comfort zone.
The opposite of this mindset fear and avoidance is the person who:
- allows fear to become their driving force
- decides to play it safe at all costs
- finds their life getting smaller and smaller
- become avoiders of risk
The courage and commitment mindset and the fear and avoidance mindset represent two opposing approaches to life, decision-making, and personal growth.
Courage and Commitment Mindset
The characteristics of this mindset include embracing challenges, taking risks, and stepping out of comfort zones. This mindset thrives on curiosity, experimentation, and betting on oneself. The behaviors include actively confronting fears, pursuing meaningful goals, and building confidence through action. It requires effort, resilience, and hope for better outcomes. The Impact of a commitment and courage mindset leads to personal growth, self-respect, and fulfillment resulting in overcoming obstacles and engaging fully in life.
Fear and Avoidance Mindset
The characteristics of this mindset include being driven by fear of failure, rejection, or the fear of the unknown. It seeks safety in complacency and avoids discomfort or perceived threats. The behaviors include avoiding risks and challenging situations, often leading to procrastination or stagnation. This mindset prioritizes short-term relief over long-term growth. The Impact of a fear and avoidance mindset results in reduced confidence, missed opportunities, and a cycle of fear that limits potential and reinforces avoidance behaviors.
The key difference lies in how each mindset responds to fear: courage confronts it to grow, while avoidance retreats to stay safe.
So where are you right now? Which of these mindsets describe you best? Here are some steps you can you take to move from the fear and avoidance mindset to the commitment and courage mindset:
- Acknowledge your fears
- Reframe fear: Look at them from all directions. Is your fear: “what will people think? What if I can’t pull this off?” Give yourself what if questions like what if this does work? What if this idea improves my life, my capabilities my confidence?
- Commit to the project. It starts with a commitment! Nothing will change if you don’t commit!
- This is where courage comes in! It’s the opposite of avoidance. It takes courage to bet on yourself!
- Commit to action: Choose consistent action over avoidance, as courage grows through doing. Take small actions: Become resourceful, figure out how to improve your capability. And start with manageable steps to confront fears and gradually expand out of your comfort zone and gain the necessary skills. It’s a process!
- Accept imperfection and see challenges as learning opportunities.
- Focus on long-term goals: (On a side note: For me and my podcast, I had this goal of 20,000 downloads which, when I first started, seemed unachievable and now because of consistent effort, I am fast approaching that number.) Consider how courageous actions today will lead to incredible growth in the future.
- Build your resilience: develop habits of listening to encouraging like-minded people on podcasts and audible books. Surround yourself with others who have the mindset of commitment and courage. The books you read or listen to and the people you surround yourself with is a powerful part of the process! (For me, I filter all of this through does this align with my Christian faith? If it doesn’t it doesn’t make the cut!)
If you follow these steps, the result will be new incredible capabilities and the ultimate end result is you will gain unbelievable Confidence!
This is all about trading that fear and avoidance mindset for one of commitment and courage. Are you playing it safe, or are you ready to take the wheel and bet on yourself? It’s time to acknowledge those fears, flip them around, commit to action, and embrace the stumbles along the way. Remember the four c’s! Commitment, Courage, Capability and Confidence! Trust me, each gutsy step builds resilience, skills, and the confidence you’re craving. Start small, stay consistent, and remember: courage isn’t about being fearless; it’s about doing it anyway!
Monette hosts a weekly podcast: Mornings with Monette. She has been a lifelong learner and and appreciates the opportunity to share what she has learned–both through her podcast and here at The Best-Life Project (based on the content of her weekly podcast). Her messages are raw, honest and straight from the heart. She lives in Albuquerque, NM with her husband Leland. They have three adult children and are enjoying living their best lives filled with travel and adventure.