If you’ve been feeling distant from your spouse and crave deeper love, intimacy, and connection again—even in the middle of your busy life, let me show you how to rekindle it, one intentional step at a time.
I remember a season in my marriage when my husband and I felt more like roommates than partners. We had gone through a pretty rough year. My sister-in-law, mother-in-law and my mom had all fallen ill and died within a few months of each other. We got through the funerals, and all that came from going through that season. We were grieving, our house was filled with stuff from our mom’s house. Our youngest had just left for college, and suddenly our routines didn’t include ball games, family dinners, or constant noise. The house was quiet—too quiet.
I was so busy filling my time with projects and commitments that I didn’t even realize how disconnected we had become. We weren’t arguing, we just weren’t talking deeply anymore. Our days were full, but our hearts were empty.
One night, I looked across the table and realized—I missed him. Not just his presence, but us.
I prayed, “Lord, show me how to rebuild connection in this new season.” And slowly, through prayer, intentionality, and a few mindset shifts, God began to show me the path back to love, intimacy, and connection—even in the middle of our busy lives.
Here are three things that started the road back to our love reset!
Prioritize Presence
In order to build connection, you have to make presence your priority—not perfection, not productivity, just being present with each other. I want you to do this small mind shift when you’re present with your husband. I want you to reflect back when you were deeply in love with him, when you were curious. I want you to be present with this lens, with this mindset.
Because your attitude matters. Connection can’t happen when we’re so comfortable that you are just going through the motions. Even 10 minutes of genuine eye contact, asking him questions and genuinely listening, this can reawaken intimacy.
Start small—put the phones down during dinner, go on a walk together. Consciously decide to be present. Ask open questions like “What’s been on your mind lately?” “How has your day been? Tell me about…
Rekindle Love Through Communication
To rekindle love, you have to strengthen communication. Because most disconnection isn’t about a lack of love—it’s about a lack of understanding. Are you guilty of assuming you can read his mind, know what he’s thinking. You may have no idea. When we stop talking honestly, assumptions grow and intimacy fades.
Come to the conversation with fresh curiosity. This doesn’t have to be heavy—it can be light, fun, or nostalgic. Be genuinely interested. Revisit old memories, laugh about past adventures, or dream about what’s next. When communication deepens, love follows naturally.
How’s your personal relationship with God?
To build lasting connection, you must invite God back to be your highest priority. Because spiritual intimacy fuels emotional and physical intimacy. When our heart is aligned with God’s Word, and that is where we get our identity, love becomes more patient, forgiving, and kind. And we can drop our expectations and be free to love unconditionally. Not a give to get, kind of love, a love where we can look at our spouse as a gift from God. Ask God to show you how to see your partner through His eyes. A simple prayer like, “Lord, help me love him the way You love me,” can shift the entire atmosphere of your relationship.
Building connection doesn’t happen overnight, but it does happen with intentional daily choices.
Recap
Prioritize presence—slow down and be truly with each other.
Rekindle love through communication—speak honestly, listen deeply.
Invite God to lead your connection—let Him soften your heart and guide your words.
Even in busy seasons, it’s possible to rekindle love and intimacy when you align your time, your words, and your heart with God’s design for marriage.
Your marriage isn’t too far gone. You can build connection again. God specializes in restoring what feels distant—and He can rekindle love, even in the middle of your busy life.
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Monette Sedberry is the host of the weekly podcast Miracle Marriage Makeover, where she encourages Christian empty-nester wives to rebuild connection, spark fresh joy, and invite God back into the center of their marriage. A lifelong learner and storyteller, Monette shares practical wisdom, faith-filled mindset shifts, and honest reflections from her own journey—both on her podcast and here at The Best-Life Project. Her words flow with honesty and compassion, giving women hope that change is possible.
Monette lives in Albuquerque, NM with her husband Leland. They have three adult children and love adventuring, traveling, and savoring this new season of life together. Learn more at: http://linktr.ee/Miracle_Marriage