What If You Don’t Know Everything You Think You Know?

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Have you ever been absolutely certain about something, only to discover that you might have been wrong?

I have. And I have to admit, it’s a little embarrassing.

For years, I held a very firm opinion about something. I had listened to what people said, formed my conclusions, and decided there was nothing more I needed to know. Case closed.

Then I had an experience that challenged everything I thought I understood. It taught me a lesson that went far beyond the original subject: Sometimes the very beliefs we’re most certain about are the ones we most need to reconsider.

I Wasn’t Interested in Changing My Mind

For years, I was firmly opposed to hormone replacement therapy (HRT). I had heard concerns about its potential risks, particularly breast cancer, and I had decided it wasn’t something I wanted to consider.

Besides, I felt fine. I exercised, stayed active, ate well, and took care of myself. I didn’t see any reason to question my decision.

My husband, meanwhile, had been reading research about hormone therapy. When we scheduled an appointment with a functional medicine doctor, I was very upfront about my skepticism. In fact, I told her I was tired of hearing people talk about HRT. I thought too many women were making it a central issue in midlife, and I wasn’t interested in joining the conversation.

The doctor listened carefully to my concerns, particularly my belief about estrogen and breast cancer. Then she handed me a book, Hormone Havoc: Dispelling the Myths & Misconception about Hormones in Women and Men, by Terri DeNeui, and encouraged me to read it.

I took it home, and what I read surprised me.

For the first time, I began to wonder whether the information I’d relied on for years was as complete as I’d assumed. I agreed to have blood work done, and the results showed that my hormone levels were very low.

Over the next year and a half, I explored different approaches with medical guidance, making adjustments and learning along the way. For me personally, the experience has been life-changing.

I’m not suggesting hormone replacement therapy is right for everyone. Its benefits and risks depend on individual circumstances, and those decisions belong in conversations with qualified healthcare professionals.

But that isn’t really the point of my story.

The point is that I had made a firm decision about something without being willing to consider that there might be more to learn.

And once I recognized that, I began wondering where else I might be doing the same thing.

Where Else Have I Closed the Case?

We all carry beliefs that have developed over years of experience. Some come from what we’ve been taught. Others grow out of disappointments, fears, or things we’ve observed in our own lives.

Eventually, we can become so comfortable with those beliefs that we stop questioning them.

Think about some of the things we tell ourselves:

This is just how marriage is after so many years.

My husband will never change.

We’re never going to feel as close as we once did.

I’m too old to start something new.

That opportunity has passed me by.

Sometimes those conclusions are based on genuine experiences. Perhaps we’ve tried to change something before and been disappointed. Perhaps we’ve learned to protect ourselves by expecting less.

But what if our conclusions aren’t the whole story?

What if we’ve mistaken what has been true in the past for what must always be true in the future?

I’m not suggesting we ignore reality or pretend that every problem has an easy solution. I’m suggesting we leave room for the possibility that there’s something we haven’t considered.

Because once we’ve decided that nothing can change, we often stop looking for what might.

The Power of a Teachable Spirit

One of the things I love about following Christ is that He continually invites us to grow. Our faith isn’t supposed to leave us exactly where we started.

Romans 12:2 speaks about being transformed through the renewal of our minds. I’ve read that passage many times, but my experience gave me a fresh appreciation for what it means.

Renewing our minds requires more than reinforcing what we already believe. Sometimes it means being willing to examine an assumption, listen to another perspective, or admit that we don’t have all the answers.

And that takes humility.

It’s not always easy to say, I might have been wrong.

But those words can open the door to learning something important.

I began thinking about how this applies to marriage. How often do we approach our husbands with conclusions we’ve already made about what they’ll say, how they’ll react, or what they’re willing to do?

How often do we assume that the emotional connection, affection, or physical intimacy we once enjoyed simply isn’t possible anymore?

Maybe some things really have changed. After all, we’re not the same people we were twenty or thirty years ago.

But that doesn’t mean we’ve reached the end of what we can discover about each other.

And the same principle applies beyond marriage—to our health, our relationships, our dreams, and the way we see ourselves.

We don’t have to abandon our convictions to remain teachable. We simply need enough humility to recognize that we may not know everything there is to know.

What Haven’t You Considered?

I’ve started asking myself some different questions when I feel certain that something can’t change.

Instead of asking, Why is nothing working? I might ask, What haven’t I considered?

Instead of assuming I already know the answer, I can ask, What information might I be missing?

And when I find myself saying, That’s just the way things are, I can stop and wonder whether I’ve accepted an assumption as a fact.

Those questions don’t guarantee that circumstances will change. But they can change the way we approach them.

They make room for curiosity, discernment, and possibility.

And sometimes that’s where hope begins.

There’s Still More to Learn

I never expected a conversation about hormone replacement therapy to teach me so much about my own thinking. But I’m grateful it did.

I learned that being certain isn’t the same as being fully informed. That listening doesn’t require agreeing. And that changing your mind isn’t necessarily a sign of weakness.

Sometimes it’s a sign of growth.

Perhaps there’s an area of your life where you’ve quietly decided that things will never be different. Maybe it’s your marriage, your health, a relationship, or a dream you’ve set aside.

What if you approached that situation with a little more curiosity and a little less certainty?

Ask God for wisdom and discernment. Be willing to listen, learn, and consider something new. You may discover that your original conclusion was right after all. Or you may find that there’s another possibility you hadn’t seen.

We don’t have to know everything to move forward. Sometimes we simply have to remain willing to learn.

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