This Lady Is Who She Thinks She Is

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2 mins

Last week, as I was leaving a restorative care facility after visiting a friend, I encountered a group of employees in the lobby.

“Are you a teacher?” one asked. “You have the presence of a teacher.”

I answered “no,” and then told her I am a writer.

“For real? What have you written? Do you write books?”

I recounted a little of my writing journey, including the fact that I often write about tough topics.

Several asked my name, pulled out their phones, and quickly discovered my website.

“Oh, law! Look at that professional headshot! This lady is who she thinks she is!”

We talked a few minutes. I showed them how to access my blog, thanked them for their interest, and then bid them farewell.

After I got in the car, that phrase—“This lady is who she thinks she is”—replayed in my mind and caused me to think about how we perceive ourselves.

Accuracy

Is the view you hold of yourself accurate?

When I look in the mirror, I am usually okay with what I see. However, to get a more accurate perspective, a full-length mirror is required. When I see only a portion of my reflection, I get a partial view. A full-length mirror gives the total picture—and sometimes that view isn’t quite what I consider acceptable.

The same can be true of how we see ourselves on the inside.

Some people have an elevated perception of themselves. Perhaps they feel inferior for some reason and compensate with an inflated view of self to gain confidence. Unfortunately, self-elevation can come at the expense of others.

An attitude of superiority is unattractive and can be damaging to those in its path.

Honesty

My maternal grandmother often cautioned, “Now don’t you get the big head,” meaning, don’t think too highly of yourself.

An honest assessment of ourselves helps us move forward and build genuine relationships. People gravitate toward those who are honest, compassionate, and forgiving. Conversely, relationships become difficult when one person constantly requires affirmation or attention.

But thinking too highly of ourselves isn’t the only danger.

Misperception

Sometimes, we think far too little of ourselves.

How do you see yourself?

We can view our shortcomings with glaring clarity while barely noticing our strengths, gifts, and positive qualities.

Misperception may stem from overly critical parents, grandparents, or other family members. I still remember extended family members commenting openly and loudly on my preteen weight and what those remarks did to my self-esteem. The damage lasted well into adulthood.

Moving beyond labels others place on us is challenging.

When we accept the negative—and sometimes cruel—statements of others as truth, we saddle ourselves with the unnecessary burden of trying to meet someone else’s standards or live within someone else’s definition of who we are.

Correction

The world is full of critics, or what I refer to as “negative cheerleaders.”

Forward motion comes when we learn to see ourselves from God’s perspective—as beloved and valued children of the King.

We are God’s masterpiece, created in His image. No matter what falsehoods others have drilled into your mind, you are God’s creation. By faith in Jesus Christ, through God’s grace, you are adopted into God’s family and gain a new identity.

With this new identity comes the certainty that you are who God knows—and says—you are.

Perhaps one of the gifts of this best-life phase is finally learning to see ourselves more accurately: neither inflated by our own importance nor diminished by the opinions and labels of others.

Maybe we can even become comfortable enough in our own skin to smile and say:

This lady is who she thinks she is.

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”
—Ephesians 2:10 NLT

“Because of the grace allotted to me, I can respectfully tell you not to think of yourselves as being more important than you are; devote your minds to sound judgment since God has assigned to each of us a measure of faith.”
—Romans 12:3 VOICE